How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less
by InuHanyouGurl
Summary: AUInuYasha is an antisocial teen that never tried to get along with anyone besides his 2 friends.What will he do when he falls for Kagome, the girl moving in next door?How will he admit his feelings when every time he tries he insults her?InuKagMirSan
1. Meeting the Girl Next Door

**EDIT: **This story has been complete for a rather long time now, but it still gets love from time to time which makes me really happy. So I thought, I'll go back and redo the opening. I was not even in high school when I began writing it, and I know that my writing skills weren't what you'd call up to par. But as I reviewed the story, I could see how my writing got slowly and steadily better, and throughout the two or three years I spent writing, you can see a major improvement and maturity in the quality of the writing. I'm leaving these first few chapters in their original form as a testiment to show how much my writing developed. For those who are stumbling upon it now, I concede that the first few chapters are definitely not what one would call 'masterpieces,' but please stick it out. The writing and the form gets better. Thanks so much to those who have read and enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Thanks guys!

Why hello! How ya'll been! I'm back with another fic! PLEASE REVIEW!(Note: Inu- Yasha, Miroku, Sango, and Kagome are in the end of they're senior year of high school

Summary: A/U-Inu-Yasha is an anti-social teen. He never tried to get along with anyone besides his two friends, Miroku and Sango. What will he do when he falls in love with Kagome, the girl next door? How will he admit his feelings when every time he tries he, in nervousness, insults her instead? Inu/Kag Mir/San

Disclaimer: If I owned Inu-Yasha, I would use the money I earned to take over the world. The last time I checked, we still lived in a democracy. So, no, I don't own Inu-Yasha! Are you happy now?!(hey, that's a Michelle Branch song...that I also don't own)

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter One

Meeting the Girl Next Door

Inu-Yasha sat on his couch, moping. Miroku and Sango had left a few minutes before, meaning he was alone for the evening. They were going on a date.

'I haven't been on one of those since...her. ' But he didn't want to think about 'her' right now.

Inu-Yasha looked over his attire. He was wearing a tight, red shirt, tight leather jeans, and a leather jacket. He was wearing black boots to top it all off.

He sighed. It was going to be a long day. He had absolutely no one to talk to and nothing to do. Boredom was a bad condition for an antsy hanyou.

So, Inu-Yasha decided to channel surf. Anime, anime, cooking show, kung- fu movie, anime, action movie (A/N Oooooh! EXPLOSIONS!), Shrek, Hamtaro...

'Oh, yeah! I can hear it now! "Look! It's the big bad inu hanyou Inu- Yasha watching HAMTARO!"'

The show cut to commercial and began to advertise the Hamtaro marathon they were currently airing.

'Just great!' he thought sarcastically and sighed. 'I think I'll hit the arcade.'

Inu-Yasha jumped down the porch steps quickly. He hopped on the bright red Harley Davidson. He revved it up and drove down the ramp. He weaved through traffic, yelling random curse words at people who almost ran him over. It didn't matter that it was entirely his fault; they were in my way, his mind reasoned.

Inu-Yasha was very amused once he reached the arcade. He'd been flipped off at least twice, yelled at repeatedly, and caused a small traffic jam. A good days accomplishments, he reasoned to himself. He strode into the building, going straight to the back corner. He began to play his favorite game, Galactic Bounty Hunter.

:P

Inu-Yasha was currently on the last level and was going to try to beat all his previous high scores.

"You will die here, Zultar!" Inu-Yasha said, very high pitched. His voice then deepened considerably. "No! You will die, Gurglezorg! I will have slice off your head in memory of all those you have killed!"

By this time, Inu-Yasha had drawn a considerably large crowd. They were either cheering him on or trying to gauge his sanity level. He kept glancing at the top of the screen to make sure he didn't kill his opponent before passed one million points, his current high score.

When Inu-Yasha finally succeeded, he raised his arms in triumph. He then let out a cry of "YES!" and jumped into the air. Unfortunately, he forgot about his hanyou strength and the height he could reach when jumping. So, his fists ended up going through the ceiling. It took him a few minutes to wiggle his hands free, but, by that time, the manager had shown up.

"YOU! THAT'S THE SIXTH TIME THIS MONTH!" the man yelled, more intimidating than a short, bald man should be.

"Nothin' I can do about it. You shouldn't make the ceiling so low," Inu- Yasha replied calmly, watching the small man turn purple in the face.

"OUT!" the man shrieked.

"I need to go, anyways. It'll be dark in about thirty minutes, and I need to get ready to vandalize this old place," Inu-Yasha walked away, smirking internally. 'That old man will stay up all night waiting for me to show,' he thought, chuckling.

Inu-Yasha rushed home, not sure why he was in such a hurry. However, the road was blocked by a large U-Haul truck when he got there.

'Some one's moving into the old shrine! Weird! That place's been empty for years! I wonder why anyone wants it now!'

Just then he caught sight of the family climbing the stairs as the U- Haul pulled away. There were four of them climbing the stairs and chattering away about random non-sense. It wasn't the young boy or the woman that caught his eyes. It wasn't even the old man who was ranting about youkai and brandishing ofudas.

It was the young girl that caught his eyes. At first he thought it was 'her' but he quickly realized differently. This girl's eyes held warmth, and she was laughing. 'She' never laughed; 'she' barely ever smiled. The girl he was staring at was happy, and, in the fading yellow rays of sunset, she looked like an angel in a short, white skirt and a pink, long sleeved shirt.

'Who..is...she?' he thought in a daze. He was transfixed to following her figure up the stairs and listened to her footsteps as they walked up another set of stairs inside the house. The spell was broken when the guy in the car behind him honked angrily. "Move your sorry butt outta the way!"

Inu-Yasha, to stunned to insult him back, nodded. He made his way up concrete ramp he'd put in when he arrived. His house was perched on the hill beside the shrine, and, as he discovered really quickly, that it was not fun to go down the steps on his motorcycle.

Inu-Yasha shot into his house and ran to his room. He tore open the closet door to survey himself in the tall mirror on the inside door of his closet. He smoothed over his fly-away hair and straightened his jacket.

Inu-Yasha then ran out of his door, raced out his front door, and leapt over the concrete wall separating his house from the shrine. He landed neatly on the other side and proceeded to walk calmly to the door. He knocked three times and waited, straining his ears to hear the faintest movement in the house.

Inu-Yasha heard the voice of the teenage girl he had observed earlier. "I'll get it, okaa-san!"

"No, I will!" he heard a boy's voice yell.

Then there was the sound of a race to get to the door. Some one slid up to the door and a "HA! I beat you!" followed.

Inu-Yasha watched as the door swung back to reveal the girl standing in front of him beaming, and the boy, more than likely her little brother, standing behind her pouting dejectedly.

The girl's amusement turned into confusion and she asked, "Oh! Who are you?"

"I'm your new neighbor. I thought I'd say hi," he grumbled barely audible.

"That's so sweet!" she squealed, immediately making his ears flatten against the top of his head. "Come in!"

When he didn't comply, she smiled a small smile and grabbed his arm.

"Don't be shy! We don't bite!" she chirped as she dragged him to the kitchen where she knew her mother was.

"I bet he does though!" her grandfather, who just walked in, cried and pointed at Inu-Yasha. "Youkai! They're invading!"

"Jii-chan!" she scolded. "What have I told you about bothering my guests?"

Inu-Yasha blushed slightly at the 'my' though he wasn't sure why.

"Yeah, jii-chan! Leave him alone! He just got here, and you're already making it hard for him!" the boy agreed.

The old man snorted and walked away muttering incoherently.

"Sorry about him! He's always been like that," the girl said.

Inu-Yasha couldn't force the dumbfounded look off his face, however hard he tried. So, he resigned to being led blindly through the house.

"Okaa-san! Look! We have a visitor!" the girl squealed.

The woman, seemingly used to her children randomly popping up, just turned around and smiled.

"Kagome, you startled me! Don't scare me like that!" she smiled gently and playfully shook the fork she was currently putting away.

Kagome just laughed, but to Inu-Yasha, it was somewhat menacing. He was in a house full of people he didn't know. He was being dragged around by a girl whom failed to introduce herself, forcing him to listen for a name. The boy following him was staring up at him with hero-worshipping stars in his eyes. An old man had accused him of biting people. Now, some woman was shaking a rather sharp looking fork at him. Needless to say, he was unnerved.

'I don't think that woman could be startled. I don't care what she says!' Inu-Yasha thought.

"Who's your friend?" her mother asked.

"Oh! This is...ano..? What is your name?" Kagome asked turning a slight shade of pink.

"How rude of you, Kagome! You need to introduce yourself!" the woman turned to Inu-Yasha. "I'm Midori! Higurashi Midori. This is my daughter Higurashi Kagome and my son Higurashi Souta.You are?"

"I'm Inu-Yasha. Mamouru Inu-Yasha," he muttered.

"Why don't you come sit down and have tea with us?" Midori asked.

"That would be nice, Higurashi-san," Inu-Yasha replied absently examining the boxes stacked every where.

"No! Call me Midori! Higurashi-san makes me feel old! Kagome getting ready to graduate makes me feel old enough!" she laughed.

Inu-Yasha nodded, staring at Kagome. She looked younger than that. She had a baby face and had the girl-ish charm of a middle school girl or, at the oldest, a freshman. Many of the girls he knew were more like Sango, who had come out of that stage a long time ago.

Then again he didn't know many girls besides Sango.

Even though he didn't realize it yet, getting to know Kagome was going to be one heck of a task.

A/N Well, there's chappie one! Hope you likesies!

Mamouru means to protect. I thought it fit considering how much protecting he does during the series.

The whole Inu-Yasha looking himself up and down in the mirror was a little OOC but I can totally see him doing this. insert nervous laugh

This chappie wasn't all that funny, but I intend to make it funnier.

Oh! I have nothing against Hamtaro! I actually really enjoy it !I watch it every morning! muttering Well I did until this morning until they changed the time slot!happily shouting againBut that's O.K.! They air Zoids now!

Sakura Minamura is out!

Ja Matte Minna-san!


	2. Hangin' With Kagome

I'm back! I hope ya'll like it so far! Here's chapter two!

I'd like to thank my reviewers Nini4, SuzumiTenshi, and Shatsui! Check out their stories!

okaa-san: mother

jii-chan: grandfather

itai: ouch

urasai: shut up

-san: a term of respect for those considered equals

-sama: a term of respect for those considered superiors

youkai: demon

oyasumi nasai: good night

hanyou: half-demon

gomen nasai: I'm very sorry!

kawaii: cute, adorable, ect.

nani: what

Just in case anyone needs those :-)

Disclaimer: Like I said in the first chapter, we still live in a democracy, don't we?

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Two

Hangin' with Kagome

Ever find yourself in an odd situation?

That's what Inu-Yasha was thinking.

'Here I am at my neighbors house at one in the morning, chatting with the girl next door's mother like we're old friends. Of course, she's doing most of the talking, but, hey, I'm still listening, ain't I?'

"...and that's the story of the leprechaun in the closet. I was visiting Ireland at the time. It was very funny. What do you think?" Midori smiled at Inu-Yasha.

"Yeah. Really interesting," he replied half-heartedly.

Kagome was sleeping with her head lying on the table, drooling. Souta had long since started playing video games because his mother was to immersed in her conversation to tell him to go to bed. The old man had disappeared from the house entirely, and, by the sounds of it, he was in one of the mini-shrines praying to kami to cleanse his 'youkai-ridden house.'

"Oh my goodness!" Midori screamed suddenly.

Inu-Yasha jumped and trained his eyes on the woman across from him.

Kagome, on the other hand, jerked awake. She screamed and started. Her chair wasn't ready for any movement, and it toppled over backwards.

"ITIA! ITIA! ITIA! ITIA! ITIA! ITIA! ITIA!" erupted from Kagome's direction.

"Itia!" was the final moan before Kagome reappeared.

"What in the world...!"Kagome asked, trailing off.

"Look at the time. I need to get to bed! I have a meeting to attend to tomorrow...well today. You better get home!" Midori declared.

Kagome got up and began to walk away and mumbled, "Oyasumi nasai, Inu- Yasha! Oyasumi nasai, okaa-san!"

"I have an idea! "Midori chirped seemingly ignoring her daughter appeared on the verge of passing out. "Why don't you walk this nice young man home, Kagome!"

"He lives next door. I think he'll be fine, and isn't it the guy that walks the girl home?" the young girl glared at her mother.

Midori pulled Kagome to the side and whispered in her ear, "He's a really nice guy, and you need to start thinking about finding a husband. You're fixing to graduate, and you'll leave home. I'd feel much better if you had a strong fella like him around to protect you!"

Inu-Yasha, with his super-sensitive ears, heard every word and was doing a good impression of a tomato as was Kagome.

"OKAA-SAN!" Kagome cried.

"Inu-Yasha, if it's all right with you, would you show Kagome around town tomorrow? She doesn't know where to find anything?" Midori asked sweetly.

Inu-Yasha took one look at Midori and instantly agreed. There was the sugary sweet expression that said 'say-no-I-dare-you.'

'That's not true!' the annoying little truthful voice cooed. 'You actually want to get to know her! She's different from everyone else! You could tell when you looked in her eyes!'

'Keh! Like I'd want to hang out with some wench I just met!' he argued with the voice.

'Stop lying to yourself! You-!' the voice started.

'URASAI!' Inu-Yasha screamed in his mind.

As Inu-Yasha thought this, a multitude of expressions were playing across his face. Midori and Kagome watched, bemused.

An odd smile, surprise, anger, a small smile, and, to top it all off, irritation and high annoyance.

Finally, Inu-Yasha snapped back to reality and realized they were staring at him.

"WHAT!"he shouted.

They laughed.

Inu-Yasha snorted and brushed past them, back the way he came. Midori prompted Kagome to follow which she promptly did.

'It might not be so bad!' Kagome told herself. 'He is really cute! Well...maybe that's not the word I'm look- KAGOME! Don't let you're mind wander! But I do wish he'd let me touch his ears! They're so KAWAII!'

About that time, she ran into someone's back. "UMPH!"

"Gomen nasai!" she apologized quickly as he turned to glare.

"Forget it!" he snapped. "Just call you're," here he took on a high-pitched voice "Jii- chan!" the switched back to his normal voice, "off!"

"Nani?" she asked as she peered around his shoulder. There was her jii- chan, standing at the top of the shrine steps, ofudas raised. He was muttering what sounded to Kagome like curses. "Stop it, jii-chan! You should be in bed! It's late!"

"Technically, it's early," Inu-Yasha oh-so-annoyingly pointed out.

"WHATEVER! It's early! EXCUSE ME! But he should still be in the bed's the point!" Kagome shot back.

"There was a point?" Inu-Yasha asked.

Inu-Yasha could almost see the steam rolling off of her. The only time he'd seen a girl that mad was Sango, and the only time he'd seen her like that, it was always directed at Miroku. Every other girl that he'd made angry- which was quite a few- were scared to 'provoke' him, because he's part 'youkai.'

Kagome glared daggers at him, and Inu-Yasha was suddenly glad that looks couldn't kill. She grabbed his arm and dragged him up to the top of the stairs beside her jii-chan. She tore the ofudas from the old man's hand and ripped them in half.

Kagome then began the descent down the stairs, but Inu-Yasha stopped her.

"I can get there faster," he muttered gently, leaning down. "Get on my back!"

"Nani?" was her oh-so-intelligent reply.

"Get on my back!" he repeated not-so-gently.

She numbly did as she was told. As soon as she had a firm hold on his neck, he leapt.

Kagome was definitely awake now. In a few seconds, they were on his porch, and he was setting her down.

"Wow!" she breathed. "That was so cool!"

Inu-Yasha glanced at her. She was beaming at him and his heart jumped into his throat. So, he did the instinctive Inu-Yasha thing to do. He smashed it back down.

"What time should I pick you up?" he asked.

"Huh?" she replied, still in a daze.

"What time? I told your okaa-san that I'd show you around! What time should I pick you up!" he growled.

"OH! About twelve would be fine," she replied. Then her face turned pink. "I was wondering if I could..."

She glanced up quickly and noticed the odd expression on his face.

'Well, it's now or never!' she thought.

With that she reached up and began to pet his ears.

"WHAT THE-" Inu-yasha started.

"Gomen! I couldn't help it! They are so kawaii!" she said quickly.

'She likes my ears! 'Inu-Yasha thought, shocked.

"It's fine!" he muttered quickly. 'She touches your ears, and all she gets is "It's fine!"' he thought, appalled.

'Well, it did feel nice, though, didn't it!' the voice asked. 'If she'd petted those ears of yours longer, you would've purred! I bet you'd just love for her to hear that!'

Inu-Yasha just sighed, to tired to fight back. He traded farewells with Kagome and went inside.

Kagome walked slowly down the stairs of his house and up the stairs of her own.

And, you know, he couldn't help but watch her all the way there.

A/N Well there's chappie two

Sakura Minomura is out!

Ja Matte Minna-san!


	3. I'm Tour Guide, InuYasha! Scroll I

HHHHHIIIIIIIIIIII! cough Gomen, I'm on a sugar high. Hope ya likesies!

Review Responses

bluefuzzyelf- Ya! Some one caught me! Yep, that's where I got the idea! I was sitting there watching t.v. when the commercial for the Barbie as the Swan Princess came on. I went, "COOL! I HAVE THAT MOVIE...MINUS THE BARBIE!" So I watched the swan princess cause I'd just seen the Barbie thing and thought 'how in the world are they going to top the first movie!' I heard that quote and thought 'Yep! That's an Inu fanfic in the making if I ever heard one!' I plan on Miroku saying the full quote some where.

moonsilver- I saw that too! I thought of every way to make it him walking her home, but none of them were worth typing up. I think it turned out okay though, but I can't say anything. I've walked guys home before :-)

Crystal Sapphire- Thanks! I'm glad some body thinks it's cool! Everyone at my school thinks anime is dork-ish! I set them straight though! I got a 100 on my English essay about anime! Only person that made that high; all because I had the only worthwhile topic in the class! snickers Naw, I'm just kidding! There were a bunch of good ones, but mine anime essay was the best! holds up a 'V for victory' sign

Which reminds me, I have a report on the Japanese culture I need to work on. shrugs I'll do it later!

AngelicFairy- Hey, if ya'll keep readin' I'll keep posting! Actually I'd probably keep posting anyway, but I think that's cause the little voices tell me to. If you try to ignore the little voices, they get violent! And my little voices love to write Inu-Yasha fanfiction as much as I do so...anyways...where was I? OH YEAH! Arigato!

DISCLAIMER: I'll own Inu-Yasha when I activate my ULTIMATE WEAPON!( voices yelling from a back room BOSS! What did we say about telling people about the ultimate weapon!) mumbling Yeah, yeah, yeah! You'll have to make them "disappear." I know, I know! reader's backing away nervously I think I just lost reviewers! Drat!

this (song lyrics) "this" talking 'this' thinking

this sounds and/or how an action is carried out ex- muttering scaredly backing away

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Three

I'm Tour Guide, Inu-Yasha! Scroll I (think Toy Story 2.Yeah. more puns. I know.)

(Who let the dogs out! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!) (no pun intended. I oh-so- annoyingly woke up to that one morning)

Inu-Yasha grabbed his alarm clock and chunked it across the room. It hit the wall, shattered into pieces, and left a commendable crater in the wall.

'Why did I set my alarm clock? It's Sunday! I don't have school today! Then why...'

It took a second to click, but, when it did, Inu-Yasha shot up. He stumbled through his house, clad in nothing but his boxers (heh heh).He threw things out of the closet. He'd grab a random article of clothing, look it up and down, shake his head, and toss it over his shoulder.

Just then, Miroku's head popped in the doorway.

"What'cha doin'?" he said slowly.

"I pant have to pant show Kagome deep breath around today!" Inu- Yasha replied.

"Let me get this straight….You gotta date!" Miroku asked incredulously.

"NOO! I'm just being friendly!" was the muffled objection.

Miroku snorted. "Inu-Yasha. Friendly. Yeah right. That'll be the day!"

"Urasai! Just help me find something to wear!"

Miroku stared at him for a moment before saying, in a really high- pitched girl voice, "Oh! I, like, so totally love those blue jeans! I have, like, the prettiest pink shirt that'll totally match! It'd be so cute, I could just die!"

Miroku snickered, and then looked up. You know, in case he had to run for his life.

Inu-Yasha, however, was regarding him skeptically.

"If you actually have a pink shirt, you are no longer invited to my house," Inu-Yasha sounded somewhat scared.

"IT WAS A JOKE!" Miroku said angrily.

"Yeah...right," he laughed. "Now what should I wear?"

"I've always wondered what pig-tails would look like on you!"

"NO! NO PIG-TAILS AND NO BOWS EITHER!"

"You're no fun!" Miroku pouted.

Later

Kagome stood at the bottom of the steps waiting for Mr. Right, as her gracious mother decided to call him at breakfast.

She sighed and checked her watch. It was twelve, on the dot. (I've never fully understood that saying! What dot?)

She began to walk around to the cement ramp that was Inu-Yasha's drive way.

She wasn't quite expecting the red motorcycle that came hurtling towards her.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAA!" she jumped to the side quickly as the rider veered sideways.

The motorcyclist and his companion jumped off the bike, but Kagome didn't notice because she had her face buried in her hands.

"Are you all right?" a very Inu-Yasha-like voice asked. Then as an after thought, "Wench!"

Kagome opened her eyes. 'Oh! I know why I thought it was an Inu-Yasha- like voice. Cause it is Inu-Yasha!'

"You almost ran me over, you jerk!" she shouted.

"Keh!"

"You didn't tell me that your lady friend was this radiant!" a new voice, one Kagome didn't recognize, said slyly.

"Cause Sango would kill you if you thought about cheating on her! Then she'd kill me for introducing you to the girl you cheated on her with!" Inu- Yasha snapped.

"Very valid point, my dear friend!" he chirped.

"Ano...who are you?" she asked.

"I'm honored that you wish to know my name, Kagome-sama! I am but the humble monk, but you may address me as Miroku!" he said, bowing melodramatically.

"You need to stop watching anime set in the Sengoku Jidai, (A/N-HEY!) and, well, you couldn't become a monk if you tried. You're...less than holy, I'm afraid," Inu-Yasha stumbled over the last bit with phrasing difficulties.

"What do you mean when you say 'less than holy'?" Kagome's eyes narrowed.

Inu-Yasha snorted, and Miroku grinned innocently.

Kagome finally got the chance to take in everyone's attire. Miroku dressed in leather pants with a chain hanging from his waist. One end of the chain in the front pocket, the other end was tucked in the back pocket. He had a leather vest over a plain white tee.

Inu-Yasha, as always, had leather pants on. He had the same leather jacket as yesterday, but his shirt was what intrigued her. It was, ta da, black! There was a flaming, grinning skull with cross bones. Above the skull were the words 'TRY ME' alight with flames, below the skull it read 'I DARE YOU!' These words were also flaming.

Inu-Yasha noticed Kagome looking at the shirt, and shot her a fanged smirk. She blushed and looked away.

HONK! HONK!

"IT'S SANGO! SANGO, MY LOVE, I'VE MISSED YOU SO!" Miroku shouted joyously, running up to the red convertible. The girl at the wheel rolled her eyes and got out of the car.

She walked over to Kagome with Miroku at her heels and smiled warmly. "I'm Sango."

Sango was wearing a leather skirt with a bright pink, long sleeved shirt. She also had knee-high black, leather boots.

Kagome, the only one not in leather, felt out of place. She stood there awkwardly in her yellow dress and her blue over shirt.

"I'm Kagome!" she replied brightly. She smiled nervously, waiting for some one to say something.

"You think you stand out, right?" Sango said, still with the same kind smile. A smile so endearing that Kagome smiled a real smile no longer a nervous one.

"Yeah! Wait...how'd you know?"

"All my other new friends said the same thing except they usually tell me bluntly! I never had to ask anything…" she replied.

"Well, what did your other friends do?" Kagome asked.

"We hit the mall of course!" Sango said in an oddly motherly voice.

"YAAAAAAA!" Kagome cried with the voice of a little kid being brought to a candy store. (hey I'm a teen and I still get that voice when my parents bring me to a candy store).

The boys moaned. This was going to be a long day.

A/N-There's the chappie. I was going to put the whole day on here, but I have enough already. This chapter wasn't supposed to be this long. I think it turned out good though. Well I think that's all sooo, BYE!

Sakura Minomura is out.

Ja Matte Minna-san


	4. I'm Tour Guide, InuYasha! Scroll II

Hello! How are all ya'll doin'? I'm fine...I think. Wait. I don't think ask the little voices!

Review Responses

pensquared- chanting We're gonna hit the mall! We're gonna hit the mall! We're gonna hit the mall! We're gonna hit the mall! Thanks for reviewing!

Theoretically Metaphorically- When I read your review this I yelled through the house "Yay! I'm finding people like me...all over the country!" My mom proceeded to yell back "Oh, God, no!"

That seriously happened. And I know the whole muse problem. My muses seemed intent on chewing people out today. A boy at school made a snide remark and my muses took over. I yelled into his face "I HAVE FOUR MUSES TAKING OVER RIGHT NOW! INSANITY! STUPIDITY! ANGER! AND MURDEROUS INTENT!" By this time, he'd run away from me. Well, it kept me from doing sumethin' I'd regret in front of the principal.

hyperchica11- chanting again We're gonna hit the mall! We're gonna hit the mall! Thanks! We're gonna hit the mall!

Nini4- I feel so loved! THANK YOU! Sorry 'bout the cow thing! My dad's a cow! His internet name is calmoo. Now say that really fast and see, er, hear how it sounds. It came down to leather-wearin' biker dude or punk rocker. I asked people and they all said biker, but that's the South for ya!

If anyone wants to do a punk rocker version of this fic, go ahead, just ask my permission first!

fuzzy purple people- Thankies! It's nice to know some one else is confused! I don't feel so alone!

I'm so psyched about the reviews! They keep me going! I was talking about them all day, and I drove my friends crazy! Well, I drove them worse!

DISCLAIMER: I'll own Inu-Yasha when I take over the world with my legions of evil squirrels! (just so ya know squirrels are evil, but they make good henchman! There are some exceptions, but for the most part they're evil! I'll explain the squirrel thing later. It's an inside joke my dad and I started! Wait a sec...Where's my squirrel repellent!)

Here's the chappie!

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Four

I'm Tour Guide, Inu-Yasha: Scroll II

Sango was in the lead as they walked through the crowded store. Kagome was slightly behind her, as they walked through the mall talking like old friends.

Inu-Yasha and Miroku were way behind the girls, bemoaning their fate. They were carrying tons upon tons of bags. The bags were filled with at black leather skirts and a few pairs of leather jeans, just in case she 'felt like not wearing a skirt.' (A/N-You know, that sudden want to wear something you don't normally wear! I do that all the time!)

There was also a wide array of long sleeved and short sleeved shirts of purple, orange, pink, red, green, blue, and every other color you could think of.

They'd been here for five hours, making it about five after five. The boys had finally talked them into leaving on account of the fact that all the bags wouldn't fit into the car.

That and that Miroku was half dead.

The whole time, in Inu-Yasha's eyes, went like this.

1. Go to store.

2. Watch Sango and Kagome look at clothes, laugh, talk, and, basically, being girls.

3. Follow them to the fitting rooms, sit in a chair, and wait till Kagome comes out.

4. Watch Kagome walk out, drool, then look away, and scowl.

5. Miroku makes perverted comment.

6. Listen as Miroku screams for help that he's not gonna get.

7. Repeat steps 4-6 until all the clothes have been tried on.

8. Miroku chewing him out for letting the girls pound him mercilessly.

9. Leave store.

10. Repeat all steps over.

That was how it went for five hours, and Inu wasn't a happy puppy. Not that Sango expected him to be. Which is exactly why she suggested what she did.

"Hey Inu-Yasha! Me and Miroku told Akinori-sama that we'd eat dinner with her tonight. Why don't you and Kagome go to a movie or something? She can wear one of her new outfits!" Sango chirped.

"I don't wanna!" he said half-heartedly.

"Inu-Yasha, you don't want me to tell everyone about you-know- what," Sango said happily.

Inu-Yasha perked up instantly. "You...you wouldn't!"

"I would," she called.

"Does anyone care what I think!" Miroku asked, raising his hand.

Inu-Yasha and Sango looked at Miroku, and they both shouted at the same time, "NO!"

"WELL! Does anyone care what I THINK!"

Every head whipped around and looked at Kagome. She looked perturbed (I love that word).

Every head then nodded 'yes.'

"Well, I think it sounds fun! What do YOU think Inu-Yasha?" she asked angrily.

The said boy 'eep'ed and nodded.

"Good!" she smiled. "Then let's go home. I need to change and get ready."

When she realized no one was following her, she turned around. "Are you coming?"

They nodded dumbly and followed her. Miroku and Inu-Yasha hurried in front of the girls and had the car loaded before they even made it to their seats.

"I WANNA DRIVE!" Inu-Yasha cried.

"NO!" Sango and Miroku cried at the same moment.

"What's so wrong with him driving?" Kagome asked, confused.

"You'll never get where you what to and still be alive!" Sango said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah! He drives like a lunatic!" Miroku put in.

"You're in the back with Kagome!" the girl in the driver's seat called.

"YOU ARE ALL OUT TO GET ME!" Inu-Yasha shouted before obeying.

Kagome and Inu-Yasha didn't talk much on the way home. They were to busy pretending that they weren't stealing glances at each other and convincing themselves that the feeling in their chest was just motion sickness.

LATER

Inu-Yasha was waiting at the bottom of the shrine stairs. It was now six-thirty, and Kagome was rushing around inside. He followed her movement with his super hearing. She was coming out the door, and he knew that she would appear at the top of the stairs.

Then she was there. That's the only way he could explain it. He was expecting her, but, when she appeared, he was stunned.

Kagome was wearing one of her new outfits, of course. She had a pair of boots that went half-way to her knees. She had a leather skirt that fell about four inches above her knees and she was wearing fish-net stockings. Her tight, white mid-drift said 'Biker Babe' in glittering, light blue letters, and was long sleeved. She nervously pulled at the bottom of her shirt as if willing it to get longer. Her hair was curled slightly at the ends and fell over shoulders gracefully. Her eyes held the smile and warmth that made his heart skip a beat.

She flashed him a nervous smile. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Where are we gonna go?"

"Huh?" was his oh-so-intelligent answer.

"Where're we goin'?" she asked again.

"Where ever you want to go," he said.

"O.K.! Why don't we go to the park? I was told there's a perfect hill for star gazing!"

"I'll be the guide then, I suppose," he grumbled, smiling despite himself.

A/N- There ya go! It's my bedtime! yawns My daddy's yelling at me to get off the computer, the meanie!

Sakura Minomura is out!

Yawns Oyasumi nasai!


	5. Nights Under the Stars are so Over Rated

(This was supposed to be posted yesterday night, but my computer messed it up somehow! I didn't realize it till just now! I'm been at the zoo all day! My dad and me have been trying to fix it for the past hour!)

What's up! A nice long three day weekend! OH YEAH!

Review Responses

Sol-chan: You said you were afraid to annoy me with the long review, but I love it! I thrive on random nonsense! I love it! Someone that doesn't know me can't understand me and my friends' conversations! That's cause we have a psycho connection and can read each others warped minds which a good thing! Oh! Guess what? I found another one of us! Shinnyu Kudzu! Whose review I plan to answer in a minute! And if you really want to get rid of people, all you have to do is tell them that insanity's contagious! It works! My horse judging team wouldn't and still won't talk to me because I said that! laughs maniacally I love to scare people! I watched Inu-Yasha yesterday morning before I went to school, and , when I walked outside, I screamed, "INU-YASHA!SIT!" Some guy walking down the road almost took off running! I was laughing my head off when my brother walked outside and told me I was crazy! I, of course, said thanks! He told me it wasn't a compliment! I was ready to kill him. I was sugar high today at school (then again, when am I not sugar high) My aunt gave me Air-Heads yesterday (I think she was trying to tell me something) before I went to bed! Oh! I went to your bio! The whole psychiatrist quote, you know! I walked up to my three of my friends and told them! They looked at each other counted and every single one of them pointed at me. It was so cool! I sorry I gotta answer the other reviews! And write the chapter! But yeah! We Freaks of Nature have to unite! MUHAHAHAHAHAH!

Shinnyu Kudzu- munching cookies happily Yeah! I know what you mean about the whole random comment! I am known for my random comments, loud voice, sugar high-ness-est, and total lack of sanity! The words I hear most are "Ooookaaay!" and "Get a grip!" I'm also known to say those random Cosmo and Timmy comments, too. (The Fairly Odd Parents RULE!) I was sitting in class, next to two people, talking about don't know, don't care, not asking. It was so boring so I started my famous quote! They, however, knew me to well recited part of it with me. Me:So bored, can't focus!All three of us: BORING CONVERSATION! Every head in the room turned to us and said, wouldn't ya know, they said,"OOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAYYYYYYY!" My muses, your muses, and Sol-chan's muses would totally get along! OOHH! Wait! Guess what! Guess what! I'm going to the zoo tomorrow! I get see the monkeys! I get to see the monkeys! I get to see the monkeys! I'm gonna bring my grenade launcher! Fear me! I'm the QUEEN OF ALL THAT'S INSANE! Well, except randomness! That title belongs to Sol-chan! All hail the queen!

Earth Borne- Yep I've seen The Swan Princess! I remember the first time I watched it. When I was six, and 1st grade teacher brought us to the theater. sigh Good memories! I worked on my mother's nerves, and my friend worked on the teacher's nerves. shrugs So, yeah, I've watched it. I happen to have grown up watching that movie, and it's hilarious. I love it!

fuzzy purple people- It's nice to know some one else has inside jokes about squirrels. I don't feel so alone!

HEY! Wait!I just had the creepiest de ja vu! Where have I typed that before? I wonder? Huh? Oh well!

AngelicFairy- Yeah! I know! I love to go to the mall too, but, my god, it makes my feet hurt! That's why I will never go to the store with my friend! She could shop for days on end and not get tired of it! And, yeah, their first date! I know, I know! I'm going to slow down the relationship after this! It ain't gonna happen as fast after this, I just gotta give them some time alone to get to know each other. They'll probably never admit it to being a date! I HATE their stupid pride! mom yelling from only-god knows- where You can't say anything about pride honey! You have the same problem!

Mom! SSSSSHHHHH! They don't have to know that!

inuyasha-girly-2007- heh heh heh I can totally see them all in leather! Especially Inu-Yasha! drool :P

bluefuzzyelf- Maybe I should dress Miroku in a pink shirt sometime during the story! We could really freak Inu-Yasha out.

DISCLAIMER: I do own Inu-Yasha! I do own Inu-Yasha! people in black tuxedos pop up "Get her boys" men in white pop in "Come on! We're not gonna hurt ya! We're just gonna let you try on this pretty jacket and let you talk to Dr. Montgomery! You remember Dr. Montgomery, don't you!"

NNNNNOOOOOOOO! Not Montgomery! Anybody but that old fart of a shrink! He's trying to reprogram my brain! What makes him think he can succeed where all others have failed! runs for freedom HOPE YA LIKESIES!

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Five

Nights Under the Stars are So Over Rated

Kagome was now sitting behind Inu-Yasha on his Harley. He, of course, had sworn to her that if she hurt his 'baby,' that she was going to pay dearly.

Even after that threat, he still wouldn't let her on until she vowed not to scuff or scratch it in any form or fashion.

Kagome had been looking forward to the ride; because she'd never ridden on a motorcycle before. She was curious about seeing more of the town.

Well, she WOULD be watching the scenery IF she COULD, but SOMEBODY'S hair was in HER face. She was beginning to get very annoyed.

She spit out yet another mouthful of hair and yelled, "INU-YASHA! COULD YOU TIE YOUR HAIR BACK!IT'S IN MY FACE!"

"IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, GET OFF!" Inu-Yasha yelled back.

"IF I GET OFF, I'LL BE WANDERING AROUND THE CITY FOR DAYS! I DON'T KNOW MY WAY HOME FROM HERE!"

"THEN MAYBE I SHOULD THROW YOU OFF HERE!"

He pulled over onto a little drive that led to the spot in the park that was practically famous in this area. He stopped the motorcycle on the small parking place.

But, as soon the engine was shut off, Kagome decided to voice her opinion on being left on the side of the road.

"YOU WOULDN'T DARE, YOU JERK!"

Inu-Yasha's ears flattened to the top of his head.

"ITAI!" he hissed. "Not so loud! The ears are sensitive! I'm a hanyou, remember!"

"Oh, yeah!"

"You bust my eardrums and all you have to say is," Inu-Yasha's voice was high-pitched as he said, "'Oh, yeah!'" He snorted.

"Geez! I'm sorry! Excuse me, my lord, for insulting you! I beg your forgiveness!" her voice dripped in aggravated sarcasm.

"That's more like it!" he smirked concededly, and Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Is this it?" she asked. It all seemed like...trees. You couldn't see a star any where.

"No! This is not it! My town is better than that!" he said.

She cocked an eyebrow. "Your town?"

"Yeah! It's my town! What ya gonna do about it?" Inu-Yasha asked in a low growl.

"I might have to take it then!" she snapped as she crossed her arms. She was starting to get really annoyed.

"Try to take my town away from me! Bring it on little girl!(A/N- I hear that so much)" he shouted into her face.

Her face turned red and he could hear the internal volcano erupting. "Just point out where we're headed, and I'll be going!"

Inu-Yasha thrust his arm out at a random direction and yelled, "GO THAT WAY!"

"FINE!" she stomped off into the forest.

Inu-Yasha smirked as she stalked away. 'I'll just let her get herself lost! I'll go find her after she's gave herself a good scare! That'll teach her to challenge me!'

'Or...' the annoying little voice was back. 'It'll provoke her enough to kill you in your sleep!'

'Don't ruin my moment!'

'Sorry! I was just saying that you're gonna get yourself killed!'

'KEH! Like she should hurt me!'

'I'm gonna tell you the first two most valuable things to keep in mind when in comes to living: when one has sudden giggle and/or laughter fits, one must tell oneself, 'First rule of survival: keep breathing!' (I must tell myself this often or I would already be dead of suffocation) and the second rule is that 'Hell hath no fury like a women's scorn, but only when it's directed at you!' and it'll definitely be directed at you!'

'Well, the annoying little voice does have a point,' he sighed. 'I better find her.'

Inu-Yasha followed her scent into the forest. At first, the scent was alight with anger, but the anger dissipated and fear emerged. He'd walked slowly, taking his sweet time. When he found Kagome, she was trying to decide which trail through the thick trees was wider and more navigable.

"Kagome! Come on. I'll bring you there. You're obviously lost," Inu-Yasha said softly, trying not to startle her, but it didn't work.

"KYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!" she screamed as she fell into a briar bush. (Do they have those in Japan? Shrugs)

Inu-Yasha pulled her out quickly, but she was still covered in little nicks.

"You-!" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Come on. I have some bandages in one of my hidden pouches on my bike. There's some anti-septic on there to," He picked her up bridal style and carried her back through the forest toward his motorcycle.

The two of them were sitting there, finally getting to see the stars Kagome had been so inclined to see. They were silent, and it was very unnerving for Kagome. She was thinking frantically for a subject, but she was drawing a blank.

"Is this a nice town to live in?" she asked.

"Yes," he muttered.

"Do you know a lot of the people here?"

"Yes."

"Do you visit this place often?"

"Yes."

"Are you actually a girl disguised as boy?"

"Yes."

Kagome burst out laughing.

"What? What's so funny!"

"Nothing!" she said with tears of mirth. "You should really watch what you agree with!"

He scowled. "Baka!"

"Ha! You didn't deny it, or take it back!" she laughed twice as hard.

"How can I take it back if I don't know what I agreed to?"

Her laughter tripled.

"TELL ME! KA-GO-ME!" he enunciated her name as he chased her back to the motorcycle.

A/N- That's all for now, but I'm coming off the sugar! The tiredest thing is after the sugar wears off. I don't normally run outta sugar but when I do, I sleep like a rock.

Sakura Minomura is out!

Oyasumi nasai, minna-san!


	6. I Hate School

HI YA! I'm sittin' here typin' with my new plushies! One is a white tiger which I have named Chihiro and the other is a panda bear which I have named Rin. Of course I have others that aren't new: A brown teddy with a maroon bow named Miroku, a white rabbit with a pink bow named Sesshoumaru, a tiny pink teddy with a maroon bow named Vegeta, and a small collie plushie named Shippou! I looked for a pure white puppy in the zoo's store yesterday but couldn't find one. pouts Dang' it!

Review Responses! (hands all reviewers panda and white tiger plushies)

And, to all the reviewers that want to see Miroku in that pink shirt, I have the perfect scene to put it in.

Sol-chan- I love clicky pens! Those things rule! The easiest way to annoy some body is to click those over and over and over and over and over! I've broke so many clicky pens that way. hee hee I'm eatin' fruit loops which is good brain food, but it has no marshmallows(sp?) or chocolate in it! Oh well! It still has sugar! I had a killer time at the zoo yesterday! Before we got there, my brother and me betted that we could freak AT LEAST 8-10 people out. Well we quadrupled (yep!I slaughtered a word too) that amount! I even freaked family members that came with me out! But there was so many willing victims. Victim 1-the lady in the reptile house: I was walking in front of her speaking in Japanese to the snakes and telling them in English that I'd set them free. She made sure she was in between me and her kid the whole time. Victims 2-a group of people viewing the orangutans: speaking to my dad with a Transylvanian vampire-ish accent switching from English to Japanese at random (the guy next to my dad wanted so badly to ask who let me out of my cage. I could tell by the looks he was giving me).Victims 3- the other parts of the monkey exhibit: chanting I get to see the monkeys! I get to see the monkeys! I get to see the monkeys! They'll help me take over the world! YAY!(I could walk through the crowd without so much as getting bumped. heh heh)Victims 4- people that were leaving the monkey exhibit: walking through the crowd singing Fukai Mori. Weird looks galore. Victims 5- people at the Chinese exhibit where they keep the pandas: shouting 'Sugoi' and 'Kawaii' and 'The Journey West' and 'This is what my house'll look like minus the zoo animals!' There was a lot more like the people at the penguin exhibit! (I was shouting to my dad who was on the other side of the area about how it would be cool to dye the penguins purple!) But I have other reviews to respond and a chapter to write! Ja! Oh and Sess will be in the fic along with Kouga, Hojou, Kikyou and Naraku. hisssssssssss (Die you spawn of the netherworld! No offense to those who like Kikyou, but I don't like her at all and neither does my muse of murderous intent!), and maybe Shippou.

bluefuzzyelf- In your case, it might be the red head genes, but I'm a brunette so that's not what causing my problems. And the 'hawg' thing I got that outta a magazine. I'll write it different from now on! I didn't like the way 'hawg' looked anyways. I don't know if burny is a word, but...IT IS NOW!I have a perfect scene for Jean Bob! He's an hilarious little dude! And sorry about the whole 'redhead from hell' thing. My two friends and me have different titles. The boys we hang out with have named us the Ditzy Chicks. There's Ditzy, Dingy, and me. Demi is my name. They call me that cause it makes one think short, insane, and air-headed. People always call me vertically challenged or petite. The entire high school is out to step on me. curls up in a corner and plots revenge, muttering I'll get him first! Oh, yes! He'll taste my wrath!

Nini4- I'm sorry I didn't answer you're review last chapter. I normally get an e-mail that tells what the review says. I didn't realize you reviewed until ten minutes ago. I was messing with the stuff on the review page and realized you'd reviewed! Again, I'm really sorry! Don't ask me where the money comes from! I know where Inu's comes from, but that's part of what little plot the story has. I think I just said too much! I suppose they come from well off families. shrugs And if you really want my autograph here! It's yours! hands Nini4 a strip a paper If I need anyone set straight on whose the boss, I'll send them to you!

Queenizzay- Yes, the voice is wise, maybe a little too wise for Inu- Yasha. I, too, know how badly those hurt. I hate those to! Stupid bushes! They will be the first destroyed when I take over the world! That and infomercials!

hyperchica11- Nope! He don't know what he agreed with, and I don't plan on telling him!

Silver Magiccraft- Some one else with a squirrel joke! YAY! It totally makes sense! That's like exactly what I did at the zoo! It' sooooo fun to laugh at others expense! Oh, and I gave your parents your will for you! You know, you're the first person killed by a run away muse in one of my reviews. (pats shoulder) Here's a cookie!

pensquared- He really needs to zone in every now and again!-

DISCLAIMER: My hordes of evil squirrels are gathering! I'll have Inu-Yasha soon!

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Six

I Hate School (the chapter dedicated to Nini4 as an apology for the late response! I didn't mean to! She is also where some of the inspiration for the chapter came from!)

You want to know why Inu-Yasha hated school?

The first reason was you had to get up so early, and you never knew what song you'd wake up to. For Inu-Yasha, the song had been 'Who Let the Dogs Out' again. To Inu-Yasha, once is a coincidence and twice meant God was mocking him. He now needed a new radio station to wake up to, but before he could get the station, he had to replace his alarm clock for the second time.

The second reason was all the work you had to do to pass.

The third was the annoying teachers. None of his teachers could stand the 'egotistical hanyou' being in their class.

The forth reason was that half the student body was scared of his hanyou powers while the other half thought they were to good to talk to him. All he had was Miroku and Sango. And, maybe Kagome. 'But,' Inu-Yasha thought. 'She may act differently around other humans and youkai.' So instead of dwelling on it, he forcibly forgot about it.

The fifth reason was the amount of time he spent at school. He was wasting his life in that stupid school! He could careless that he was learning for his future. He could teach himself anything he needed to know. 'And there is...NO!' he told himself. 'I WILL NOT THINK ABOUT THAT!' So, again he forcibly pushed the matter aside.

The sixth, and to him most vile, reason was that they made him comb his hair every day. Did they not realize how hard it was to brush! Did they not realize that he could not do it himself half the time! That he had to get Sango do it! He could care less how neat it was! He had it grown out in the same style his father wore it in except that he didn't keep it tied back or combed. To him, though, it was the same thing.

And if he didn't keep it combed, the teachers would try to cut it. That was why his tendrils were so short. He had to give the teachers credit. Those teachers were tough when they teamed up on you.

(Dad just gave me a Kit Kat bar! MUHAHAHAHAH! Give me a break! Give me a break! Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar! hands readers a piece)

Inu-Yasha was standing on the curb waiting for Sango, his hair a giant rat's nest. She should have been there five minutes ago, and he was worried about her. Sango was never late.

Just then, her little red car flew around the corner. Sango sped up and stopped in front of Inu-Yasha. She was panting, and she looked ticked off.

"I got away from him!" she exclaimed.

"Got away from who...?"Inu was cut off as Miroku raced around the corner.

"SANGO! MY LOVE! COME BACK! LISTEN TO ME!" he was shouting.

"Oh, God, no!" Sango pulled out and raced away, Miroku in hot pursuit.

Inu-Yasha stood, dumbfounded. He watched them quizzically as they passed. He blinked a few times, getting his bearings straight. Finally, he was ready to react.

"SANGO!" he shrieked. "GET YOU ASS BACK HERE NOW!"

Inu-Yasha started to chase her down, but Kagome came around the corner.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I don't know and won't tell you! If I did know, which I don't, still wouldn't tell you!" he turned away and crossed his arms.

He was determined not to look back at her, but when she started laughing, he just couldn't help jerking his head around to glare at her.

"What is so funny!" he growled.

"You're... you're hair!" she got out.

"Sango is supposed to comb it for me, but she just took off!"

"I'll do it for you," Kagome wiped tears of mirth off her face.

She walked up to his house with him, and he led her to the couch.

"I'll get the brush! OKAY! Stay put, and don't touch anything!" he barked.(heh heh, barked)

Kagome surveyed the room. There was a T.V., Dish receiver, a Playstation 2, several large sound systems, and cords everywhere that connected to God-knows-what. There were no personal objects such as trophies except a single photograph.

In the picture, a tall white-haired youkai stood with a with a black- haired woman. The woman held a baby in her arms. The baby, Kagome decided, was Inu-Yasha.

'This woman must be his mother then!' she realized. 'And the man is his father.'

Her eyes flickered to the white-haired boy that appeared to be ten. He had a stoic look that didn't appear to belong on a ten year old's face.

Inu-Yasha then came around the corner that was the doorframe. He saw her staring at the picture.

'Oh, great! Now she's gonna pry and ask questions!' he thought.

He sat down beside her and handed her the brush. It was an unnatural bright orange and was very gaudy.

She gave him a funny look but took it anyway. She gently pulled the brush through his hair. She took a breath as if preparing herself to speak.

'Here it comes,' he sighed.

"Is that you're Mom? She's really beautiful," Kagome spoke gently as if realizing it was a tender issue.

Inu-Yasha found himself content; somehow it didn't seem like prying when she asked. It sounded like careful concern. Her voice was so soft, and her hands worked comfortably through his hair.

"Yeah, she is beautiful, isn't she?" he muttered.

"You father's really handsome, you know? But you're brother looks upset, though."

"Yeah. I know. He always looks like that though," his voice held a tone of sadness mixed with annoyance, so she pressed no further.

"How long have you been here?"

"Since I was thirteen," his eyes were half closed, and he was falling asleep. Kagome knew that if she wanted to find out anything, she'd have to ask now.

"Where's your mother?"

"Okaa-san? She died when I was nine. I miss her."

"Oh! I'm sorry! I wish I could've met her!" Kagome was surprised. To lose his mother at that age..!

"You would've liked her."

"What about your fath...OH MY GOD!" Kagome screamed, startling poor Inu.

Inu-Yasha jumped from his place on the couch. "WENCH!WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"We're late for school!" Kagome ignoring the nickname.

"Holy crap!" he grabbed Kagome, threw her over his shoulder, and dashed to the school.

He didn't stop for his motorcycle. He could go faster this way anyways.

A/N-That's it for this chapter!

What's Inu's secret?

What's going on with Miroku and Sango?

And more importantly, what is Miroku's master plan he keeps talking about?

There are a few people to meet but ya'll have to wait till tomorrow cause my dads on my case! He said, "Tell them you're going to have to leave cause I'm just a old dog demon that doesn't trust his daughter to be awake when he's asleep!"

Sakura Minomura is out!

Oyasumi Nasai, Minna-san!


	7. Sango's Sorrows

Hi! I'm back!

Review Responses

Nini4- I know I'm evil, but I am typing up the next chapter!

pensquared- Yep! I do to! And I'm the author!

Earth Borne- Thankies -! Here's an update!

Sivler Magiccraft- Yeah, dad's funny when he wants to be! He watches Inu- Yasha alot to. Of course, he won't watch unless I set him to watch it or he'll never get around to it! But he always enjoys it!His fav. character is Miroku. (rolls eyes) Could've figured as much, ne?

inuyasha-girly-2007- Here's the next chapter! Sorry about you losing your sleep over the Miroku thing. It'll be funny!

fuzzy purple people- I guess he's afraid of the principals. Little, short, bald people are scary! Thankies!

ladykaa28- You'll find out what's going on in Inu, Miroku's, and Sango's life as Kagome does. Right now she's still learning their personalities. In this chapter, she'll find out some of Sango's past. But, don't worry! Everything will be explained in due time!

And for all you that have seen the Swan Princess, Jean Bob should make an appearance in this chapter or the next!

A/N-I know nothing about Japanese school system so this is done how my school is run.

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Seven

Sango's Sorrows (hey! an alliteration)

After much running, Kagome and Inu-Yasha had arrived at school just in time to meet the short, bald principal. The principal didn't punish Kagome, because, he stated, she was new to the school and was adjusting to the change. That left poor Inu to get picked on. He was given detention, but Kagome used her quick tempered mouth to tell the principal that it was her fault and that Inu-Yasha shouldn't be blamed. After much argument from Kagome, the principal said he didn't have to serve it if he didn't want to. Inu-Yasha had then opened his big mouth to comment, but Kagome elbowed him hard in the stomach, effectively stifling it.

Kagome found that she had Economics first period. She sat staring out the window, pretending she was somewhere else. She wished she didn't have to change school in the last two weeks, but it couldn't be helped. She was awoken from her daydream when she was jabbed hard in the side.

She looked over to the girl next to her.

"Here! Sango said to pass this to you," the girl looked a little scared, as if the piece of paper in her hand burned.

Kagome took the note and unfolded it. She read over it.

She scribbled a response. That's how the line of communication opened. The ending result read like this.

What'cha doin'

Sittin' here wishing i could leave

that's nice

What was goin' on with u & Miroku today? He's your boyfriend right?

DON'T MENTION HIS NAME! HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND ANYMORE!

What's going on with you two? Tell me! Onegai!

HE'S A JERK! THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON!

Sango...

Well, he's no longer on my good side...

No duh! Tell me something I don't know!

Do you want me to tell you?

Gomen! Yes! Tell me!

Last night, when you went with Inu-Yasha, we went to a WacDonald's to hang out with some friends...

I thought that you had to go have dinner with Akinori-sama! Wait. Who is Akinori-sama?

Akinori is my foster mother.

Foster mother?

Yeah, when I was fourteen, my family was killed by...a spider youkai. He had taken control of my brother and used him to slaughter my family. I was supposed to die next, but I had been awake, polishing my Hiraikotsu. My boomerang bone. My family comes from a line of youkai exterminators. There's little use for those today though.

And how'd it all turn out?

Well, the police showed up. My brother was shot. I was very wounded and was carried to the hospital. After I healed, I was put on the stand against the youkai. They had captured him. My brother was alive last I heard, but I don't know where he is. Or if he's really even alive.

That's so sad!

Yeah.I know.

Now tell about you and Miroku's problem

I was hoping u forgot that

NOPE! I didn't ;-)

We were at WacDonald's with friends right

Right

And we were hanging out right

Right

There were 5 of us there right

RIGHT! GET ON WITH IT!

(written quick and barely readable) I went to the bathroom and when I came back (something scribbled out)

Write Legiblely Sango

OKAY! He had some chick hanging on his arm! She had on a skimpy little dress on, and she was grinning like a cheshire cat!

This was where the note ended.

Kagome hadn't answered because she had jumped out of her sit and yelled, "THAT CREEP'S GONNA PAY!"

The teacher then yelled at her to leave immediately if she hated his teaching that much.

She was out of the door quicker than anyone that she could move.

ELSEWHERE….

"It wasn't me! THAT GIRL'S THE ONE TO BLAME!" Miroku whined.

"Yeah, right!" Inu-Yasha was tired off listening to his whining.

"I may like women, but I love Sango! I wouldn't do anything that would upset my dear Sango! You know me better than that!" Miroku protested, aghast.

"Then explain it to me! You keep saying the same thing over and over, but you give me no reason to believe it!"

"Well, there we were, at WacDonald's..."

"HEY! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT SANGO'S EATING DINNER!"

"We lied...,"Miroku gulped. Here come the death threats.

"I'll get you for that, Miroku! Sango's got it bad enough already!" the hanyou growled.

"You didn't enjoy your date?" he asked.

"I didn't say that!"

"OH! So you DID enjoy your date?"

"It was nice...HEY! You're putting words in my mouth!"

"Well, my dear friend, you can thank me later! Right now I have to go win back Sango's heart! It's almost time to enact my master plan!" Miroku grinned as he walked out the gym door, away from where they had been skipping class.

"WAIT! MIROKU! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO! EMBARASSING HER IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WON'T HELP YOU!"

A/N- What's Miroku going to do? (snickers) I know, I'm evil. I'll update soon, I promise!

Sakura Minomura is out!

Ja Matte, Minna-san

P.S. If you kill me, I can't update!


	8. The Main Man Miroku's Master Plan

HI! What'ch ya'll doin'? (I'm Southern! Can ya tell!)

Review Responses:

bluefuzzyelf- Jean Bob makes his promised appearance in this chappie! Yay! You shoulda seen the people at the zoo! They were so freaked out (laughs)I wish you coulda been there too! Yeah, my dad watches it with me! But, like I said, he's partial to Miroku which is scary. When any kinda perv comment is made by my brothers(boys their age...any age like to make this kinda comment) , he'll say, 'You'll be just like Miroku when you grow up!'(shudders) Scary! Oh, by the way! Did you get my e-mails? My yahoo messed up when I tried to send you something the first time and I don't know if you ever got it!

Silver Magiccraft- No! Please! Don't hurt me! (laughs nervously) Here's the chappie. And Miro-chan ain't as bad as he seems. You just haven't heard his side of the story, the whole story. And you haven't heard who the girl is yet. (shudders again)

Nini4- I know I'm evil, but I'm giving you the next chapter, ain't I? (laughs nervously) Don't hurt me!eeps

pensquared- I feel bad for her, too! And I'm the authoress!

ladykaa28- Yeah, I see trouble in his near future too!-Wonder why! I doubt Miro-chan can do anything to help Inu-chan too… He seems to be having his own problems! (snicker)

SleepyHead- Thankies! Glad you likesies! Is that a word? If it's not, it is now! I love that word!

EvilBunnies1- I'm getting positive response! Thanks for the review!

DISCLIAMER: I DON'T OWN HIM OK!...Well, in my fantasies, I do! (drool trickles from the corner of my mouth as I zone out)

Here's the chappie! And again I'm sorry for the amount of leather, that's just their style in this fic!

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Eight

The Main Man Miroku's Master Plan (I couldn't resist! This popped in my head!)

Kagome was now walking into the Cafeteria/Auditorium with Sango. They were chatting as they went, making sure they skirted around the subject of guys. They sat down at the table closest the door and, consequently, the closest to the stage. Everyone else on the table hastened to get up and move.

The two were, again, dressed in leather, and they looked quite intimidating. Kagome wore a tight blue sleeveless shirt with her new leather jacket over the top. She had a leather skirt with black knee high black boots. Her lower part of her thighs was exposed in the gap between the bottom of her skirt and the top of her boots. The suntan pantyhose she wore were very visible, gaining her several cat-calls. Her hair was down and had a fly-away, wind-blown appearance.

Sango, who had received cat-calls as well, was essentially dressed the same. The differences were her which was in a very messy bun, and she wore a tight pink shirt.

Suddenly, Inu-Yasha burst through the door, his eyes landing on the two girls, then searched frantically through the crowd, and then landed on the girls again. He rushed over to the girls.

"Have either of you seen Miroku? Please tell me you have!"

Inu-Yasha looked at Sango, who turned her head and crossed her arms. He then looked at Kagome, who shrugged.

"We haven't seen hi-" Kagome was cut off by a voice coming over the speakers.

"Welcome to Kazaana Miroku's musical premiere!" the voice, everyone except Kagome recognized, belonged to Manten, the stage manager. "This song is dedicated to Sango!"

The curtains parted to reveal Miroku in the most ridiculous outfit any of them had ever seen. He wore an absurdly bright pink shirt, a pair of shorts that cut off mid-thigh with fringe that went past his knees, and his feet were bare. He had 'I love you, Sango' written all over his face with little red hearts everywhere. Behind him, there was a large banner that read 'Please, my sweet Sango, let me explain! I would never hurt you!'

Of course, Inu-Yasha didn't see the banner. He was staring at the shirt with something akin to shock.

Then, the beginnings of a song played over the speakers. Sango immediately recognized the song. It was one of her favorites.

Miroku began to sing.

(And I'd give up forever to touch you,)

Several people in the room laughed, Inu-Yasha snorted, and everyone else, including Kagome, looked appalled. Miroku glared and continued.

('Cause I know that you feel me somehow.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now.)

Miroku paused long enough to glance up at Sango. She had uncharacteristic stars in her eyes so he continued.

(And all I can taste is this moment,

And all I can breathe is your life.

And sooner or later it's over,

I just don't wanna miss you tonight!

And I don't want the world to see me,

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

But, when everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am.)

About this time, the security guard came through the door and saw him. So he did the rational- Miroku-ish-thing-to-do. He ran as far away from the guard as the cord would permit and continued to sing.

(And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'

Or the moment of truth in your lies) (or is it life?shrugsI don't remember)

By this time, the guard had almost reached him. Miroku jumped off stage, dropping the microphone but singing at the top of his voice.

(When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive)

Miroku, after this line, was running past the table Sango was seated at, and he fell flat on his face.

"Yep," Miroku muttered, clutching his knee that had helped broke the fall for the rest of his body. "I'm alive!"

Miroku ran out the door, (with the guard right at his heels, of course) sprinting towards where he knew his purple Harley was parked.

Kagome watched as Sango stared at the table for about five minutes. Then, she jumped up and ran out the same door Miroku had. Inu-Yasha took the spot beside her.

"Well, that was weird."

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" she replied.

Kagome looked up as some frog youkai walked up to her. He stood in front of her and spoke.

"Hezzo zhere! I am Jean Bob, and I am here to speak to ze young lady," he glared pointedly at Inu, who just blinked back at him. When Inu didn't move, he continued. "I vish to have you accompenie me to... somevere...vhut deed he zay...Yes! I vish for you to accompenie me to dinner."

The frog spoke with a heavily accented mix between French and Japanese and was having trouble talking Japanese.

"Huh!" was the oh-so-intelligent answer.

"I zaid,'I vish you vould accompenie me to dinner!' Ie'll neverrr geet changed beeck at zis rate!"

"Changed back?" Kagome scrunched up her nose in confusion. Inu-Yasha couldn't help but notice how cute she looked like that.

"YES!I need ze keess of a lady zuch as yourzelf to turn beeck into a humean prinze!"

Kagome and Inu-Yasha exchanged looks. That was about the time a boy ran up.

"Jean Bob! What have I told you about bugging ladies!" the boy reprimanded.

"I steell need ze keess, zough!" the frog youkai wailed.

"You'll miss your plane! Hurry the principal needs you to go to his office!" the boy pushed the frog youkai in the direction of the door. The frog muttered in French as he walked away.

The boy turned to the two at the table. "Sorry about that! He's an exchange student from France! He's leaving today for home so you don't have to worry about more encounters like that!" the boy smiled. "I'm Hojou, by the way!" (A/N snickerHojou evil laughter)

Hojou took a seat beside Kagome. "You're new here aren't you?"

Kagome smiled. "Yeah!"

Kagome looked over to her other side where she heard growling.

'Inu-Yasha is growling at HOJOU!' she thought. 'Cool!'

Then she realized that she was stuck between the growling hanyou and Mr. Smiley for the next ten minutes.

She groaned internally. 'Oh, God! Please let me live through this!'

A/N- Okies! That's it! But I do have a proposition for ya'll!

I'm starting a new fic and I need some characters!

Summary: The IY gang (Inu, Kag, Mir, San) are adults and have opened a clinic for special kids. Kids who've had past traumas and/or mental illnesses.But how are they ever gonna help the kids when they have so many problems of their own?

Anyone who wants to be chibi-sized please review and tell me. Or just e-mail me at just IM me! I'll need your name, appearance, personality, and trauma/illness (all of this fake or otherwise).

Sakura Minomura is out!

Ja Matte, Minna-san!


	9. As Long as You Love Me

Gomen nasai! I didn't mean to take so long to update! But here it is. (bows) Forgive me.

Review Responses (review responses might run shorter today so I can type a longer chappie):

Nini4- Thankies! I know, the pink shirt thing is a little disturbing, but I hope to explain why he chose the outfit he chose. I can picture Miroku in shorts which is just (shudders slightly) Anyways....

Silver Magiccraft- I hope Kag-chan survives, but I don't know how long she can stand those two without being given a straight jacket! Thank you as well, and here's the update!

bluefuzzyelf- Glad you thought the pink shirt thing was kawaii, most thought it was disturbing (shrugs) Yep!You finally got Jean Bob! Arigato for the review!

inuyasha-girly-2007- I'll explain the shirt thing in this, okies! Here's the chappie and thanks for waiting for it!

anubaka- Glad you enjoyed it! I have enjoyed writing it!

DeathAngelthestreetfighter- If I need help (what am I saying! I always need help!) you'll be asked. More often than not, I'm lost! I was born lost! I need as much help as I can get!

Pinky-chan- Thankies! I love that song and could so picture Miroku singing it (cough) especially the first verse (cough) I walk around the house singing it. Well, that and Dearest! I love that song too!

I'm glad everyone's enjoying it! OOOOHHHH! You know what?! I just got part of the Ranma 1/2 manga! It's hilarious! Ya'll should check it out if ya haven't!

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Nine

As Long as You Love Me

Sango walked around to the small window led to Miroku's basement bedroom. The window was just big enough for her to crawl in and jump onto the couch Miroku had placed there. He'd only done that because Sango had hurt herself by hitting the concrete floor wrong one time.

Sango scanned the room, and she sighed.

'Still as messy as ever!' she thought. There were clothes everywhere. On the large sound systems, on the television, the game systems, the shelf full of video games, graphic novels, and anime DVDs were barely identifiable from beneath the junk that covered it. Sango had cleaned his room for him once, without telling him. She was going to surprise him. When she came back the next day, all the mess was back where it had been before she cleaned it. She almost blew a circuit. "Who messed this room up?! It took me all day yesterday to clean it all up!" she had screamed. Miroku had blinked and said, "Oh, that was you. I figured that it was someone trying to confuse me. I like my mess where it is; I find things easier if they're not where they're supposed to be." Sango stormed off muttering about stupid guys.

Sango found Miroku in the corner of his room. He was sitting on his bed, seemingly bandaging his knee. He had not yet detected her presence, and he was muttering animatedly to himself.

"This is all Yura's fault! She's a (muttered incoherently.) I can't believe she broke me and Sango up!" his eyes watered as he continued oblivious to his visitor. "If she hadn't attached herself to my arm right when Sango walked outta the bathroom, I wouldn't be in this boat! And, that stupid hair trap that kept us pinned together didn't help matters! She'll pay for this!"

He sighed and sat back against his pillow, his eyes closed and his expression pained. You can imagine his bewilderment when a crying Sango attached herself to his shoulders.

"Sango! When did.....?What......?" he stammered. He could almost feel her relief and wrapped his arms around her. "Shh! It's okay. I'm here."

Sango continued to cry. Miroku rubbed her back in little circles and ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm here, koi! Please don't cry! When I see you cry, it makes me wanna cry! And that's not a very manly thing, you know!"

She looked up at him, smiling playfully. She punched his shoulder. "Shut up!"

"What if I don't feel like it?"

"Then I'll pound you till you do feel like it!" she said wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Why were you crying?" he asked softly.

"I......I was....so....happy...that I.....hadn't lost.... you," she mumbled, turning red. "I wanted to cry so badly...... that night when it happened, but I wouldn't let myself. I would've felt weak. I haven't cried since....."She trailed off at the thought of her family.

"It's okay. Everyone needs to cry sometimes. The last time I cried was yesterday when I saw that hurt and betrayal in your eyes. I'll admit my weak spot for you. I'll admit the tears though they weren't as bad as yours. I don't cry as long as you, and I don't cry big horse-turd tears like you do," he said.

She smiled a warning smile.

"You have some loss issues, you know that. You won't lose me! I refuse to be lost!" Miroku stopped. "Wait. What was I talking about? I know it didn't have anything to do with being mentally lost."

Sango was getting very amused by his confusion, and she giggled.

Miroku looked down at the girl in his arms. "Are you laughing at me? Now it's you that needs to shut up!"

"What if I don't feel like it?" Sango mocked, laughing again.

"I'll do this!" Miroku leaned down and kissed her lips, effectively stifling her laughter. She started slightly but soon began to kiss him back.

When they finally broke the kiss, Miroku looked down and said, "It worked, didn't it?"

Sango smirked and punched his arm. "You're so annoying sometimes!"

"I know!" Miroku chirped. "But that's why ya love me! Right?"

"You don't want me to answer that question," she replied, smiling radiantly. It made Miroku's heart leap.

"Yes, I do!" he said in mock hurt.

"Well, I love ya, but I don't love your issues. 'Nuff said," she continued to smile at him.

Miroku couldn't bring himself to take the bait and make a comment so he just buried his face in her hair. "Good. As long as you love me."

ELSEWHERE

Kagome was now on her way home. She was surprised that both her and Hojou got away from the breakfast that morning unscathed. The whole break time, like the mall, had been a cycle. It went like this.

;-)

1. Hojou makes small talk.

2. Kagome reluctantly talks back.

3. Hojou smiles a charming smile (A/N snicker) and makes polite comments about Kagome.

4. Inu-Yasha growls at Hojou.

5. Kagome scolds him for being rude.

6. Inu-Yasha argues with a lame excuse like "He's sitting to close to you!" or "He was looking at you!"

7. Kagome would retort by saying, "Oh, are you jealous?"

8. Inu-Yasha would say "NO!" and turn his head away.

9. Kagome shoots Inu-Yasha a weird look.

10. Repeat steps.

;-)

Needless to say, she was ready to get home. As she walked, she caught a chilling aura of evil. Even though she wouldn't admit it, she did have miko powers, and they were acting up. The dark aura surrounded her, as if to swallow her up. She ran faster towards her home.

'Please let the shrine be okay! Please let the shrine be okay!' she chanted the mantra over and over. She came to the shrine, but she found nothing wrong with the building. It was the wall that separated the shrine and Inu-Yasha's house that caught her eyes. A part of the old wall had been crushed and was falling.

Quickly, Kagome ran around the wall and up the ramp into Inu-Yasha's yard.

"Inu-Yasha! Inu-Yasha! Where are you?!" she yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. Finally she caught sight of red. Red that was Inu-Yasha's tattered remains of a shirt.

Kagome ran over to him, shouting his name all the while. She reached his side and began to pull large chunks of concrete off of his back.

Only when she finally had him free of the stones did she notice the large hole in his chest. It was bleeding quite freely and she couldn't tell his shirt from his blood.

"INU-YASHA!!!!!!"

A/N-NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY INU-CHAN! HE'S HURT!

But who attacked him?

Will he survive? His attackers better hope so cause I'm very vengeful!

Just don't hurt me! Please! I'm not as evil as the cliffie!

Ok! I'm staying here at my house so you better not attack me because if you do you'll all have to die because Inu-chan here will have to avenge me.

Inu-Yasha: Avenge you? Since when?

Of course, you'll avenge me! What am I supposed to do if you don't?!

Inu-Yasha: All right! I'll avenge you already!

See! Don't mess with me!

I love that episode especially the ending conversation. I'm so glad you can hear what anime characters are thinking at certain times (sighs happily) Quoting Inu's thoughts- That's right! I'm not alone, am I? It seemed so natural......having Kagome near.(sighs again)

Inu-Yasha: You......you heard that!

Yes and it was so sweet!

Inu-Yasha: (thinking) Oh, god, no! The crazy authoress knows what I'm thinking!

Yes, Inu-chan! I am crazy, but you don't have to make it sound like a bad thing!

Inu-Yasha: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

(Snickers)

Sakura Minomura is out!

Ja Matte, Minna-san!


	10. Secrets, Lies, and Short Shorts

I'M SOOOO SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! (dodges pointy objects being thrown) Here's the next chappie!

Review Responses:

Pinky-chan- - Glad ya likesies! Hope you enjoy this chapter! It'll fill in some of the blanks! I hope! Well, I plan on it, actually I don't plan, but I don't see how that matters now. I just lost my train of thought! What was I talking about again? (shrugs) Thankies for reviewing!

Nini4- Don't hurt me! (tears well up in eyes and whimpers pitifully) I'll be a good girl! I promise! Here's the chappie! (yells out to the other people reading) BEWARE THE WRATH OF NINI!

Nini: Sakura! I heard that! I'll get you!

OK! Let's get on with the review before I get myself hurt.........worse.

Silver Magiccraft- (yelling again)BEWARE THE WRATH SILVER AND NINI!

Nini and Silver: (warningly) SAKURA!

Gomen! Gomen! (bows profusely) Gomen nasai, Nini-san and Silver-san! Please don't hurt me!

Sleepyhead- Here's the update -

inuyasha-girly-2007- (clenches fists)You and I will avenge Inu-chan!

Inu-Yasha: (blank look) I thought I was supposed avenge you.

OH YEAH! No one come near me and Inu-chan! We're the strongest inu hanyou! (growls)

AngelicFairy- You poor thang'! (gomen, the Southern instincts coming into play) I couldn't imagine being grounded from the internet! Well, we'll find out about the attackers in this chappie.....I think. And I'll try to explain a little more about why Miro-chan did it the way he did.

bluefuzzyelf- Don't worry! I'm confuzzled too! Glad ya like!

Here's the chappie!

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Ten

Secrets, Lies, and Short Shorts

"Inu-Yasha! Inu-Yasha! Wake up!" a soft, gentle voice urged.

Inu-Yasha woke slowly, but all he really saw was a blurry figure. Who ever it was had his hand pressed to their wet face. Then Inu-Yasha remembered what was going last time he was conscious.

He shot up. "Where'd those bast-"

He was cut off by the hands that gently pushed him back down. "It's okay. They're gone now."

Inu-Yasha recognized the voice, but he couldn't place it because of the fog clouding his brain prevented it. All that registered was that the voice was a soothing, angelic voice so he did the instinctive thing to do. He snuggled closer to its owner. He drifted back to sleep quickly, letting the calming scent overtake his senses.

Kagome was sitting with her back against the headboard. She was blushing as red as a cherry. She had come home to find Inu-Yasha beaten to a pulp; she had rushed him inside his house. She tried to call for help but, after fifteen minutes, realized Inu-Yasha's phone was cut off due to late charges and fees that hadn't been paid. She then began to run out the front door to use the phone at her house, only to run headlong into some old woman walking across the front porch with a case of medicines and herbs. The lady led her back into the house and said that she was going to help Inu-Yasha. Then the rest had gone by somewhat slowly. Nursing him, getting excited because he moved and might be awaking up, sighing in defeat, nursing him, getting exciting, sighing, and so on.

Of all of the things, though, where Kagome was now was probably the oddest. She was leaning against the headboard with an unconscious Inu- Yasha's head in her lap. He was curled up around her knees, as close as he could get. His hands were clasped over his injury, and, as she was well aware of, he was shirtless. The bandaged area of his chest was the only part of his upper body that was covered. She had realized, however, that she was a security blanket when she had tried to pull away. He had growled possessively, thoroughly frightening her into staying put.

And, to make it worse, Sango and Miroku had just walked into the room shooting her awkward glances.

"Someone looks cozy," Miroku said, smiling a very suggestive smile.

'Thank god, Sango hit him,' Kagome thought. 'I couldn't reach!'

Inu-Yasha's ears began to swivel towards the sound of the two entering the room; he growled again, snuggling closer to Kagome. Kagome, of course, blushed even redder, Miroku laughed insanely, and Sango stared wide-eyed.

Kagome decided it was Miroku's laughter that finally woke Inu-Yasha up completely.

"What the...."he muttered.

"You're awake! Good!" the soft voice reaching Inu-Yasha's ears.

Inu-Yasha registered the voice as belonging to the same angel as before. He vaguely realized his head was laid in someone's lap, but right now his main objective was finding the owner of the voice. He soon found himself looking into the dark brown, almost black orbs that were Kagome's eyes. He found himself entranced with the eyes even though they were puffy from, what appeared to be, the effects of crying.

Kagome found herself enthralled as well. The intense look in those amber eyes was masking so much, but also revealing so much at the same time. His eyes were masking or, at least, trying hard to mask all the emotions that were running through him; pain, sorrow, joy, happiness, awe, confusion, fear, and .......love. No, Kagome told herself, it's not love, but it is affection and hope. Only one of the emotions truly scared her. The look of one who has been betrayed. 'Who betrayed him?' she thought, perplexed.

The poorly suppressed laughter coming from Miroku was what broke the trance. Inu-Yasha finally realized that there were others in the room and leapt away from Kagome.

Kagome, however, just sat there, confusion written across her face.

"Who betrayed you?" she asked simply.

The other three in the room jerked their heads around to stare at her.

"Wh.....wh....at?!" was all Inu-Yasha's brain could muster.

"Who betrayed you?" she asked again.

"I'm never been betrayed! No one would dare betray me! What makes you think I've been betrayed?!" the hanyou snapped.

"It's the look in your eyes," she said it in a distant voice as though recalling something.

"Keh! Like you'd know what the eyes of someone who's been betrayed would look like!"

"I do actually," Kagome said quietly, her voice was watery and kept cracking. "I never really told you why I moved here so late in the year, did I?"

They all shook their head no.

"Well, my father used to work for a man named Inutaisho," Kagome started.

"Inutaisho! Your father worked for Inutaisho!" Inu-Yasha cried.

"Yes, he worked with Inutaisho up until he died shortly after I was born. Otou-san came into quite a bit of money that way, actually," she said vaguely.

"Your father worked for my father," Inu-Yasha muttered.

This time it was Kagome's turn to be surprised. "You must know Sesshoumauru then."

"Unfortunately."

"Well, my father worked quite the way up on the corporate ladder when Inutaisho was in control of the company. Inutaisho thought that otou-san had high prospects. Of course, Naraku, the vice president, didn't think so, but Naraku really couldn't do anything about it. That changed, however, when Inutaisho died and left the company to Sesshoumauru. Now, Sesshoumauru didn't really have any interest in otou-san, I think he just kept him around to annoy Naraku. Sesshoumauru would have gotten rid of Naraku long ago if he hadn't realized that Naraku was a powerful ally. So my otou-san stayed in the same job for fifteen years, but it provided so, none of us would complain. It wasn't until about a week ago that my life turned up-side down. After school, I was walking home when this terrible feeling overtook me. I don't know how to explain it......"Kagome trailed off.

"It was your miko powers, wasn't it child?" a voice from the doorway said.

"Kaede! You're here! "Inu-Yasha asked, startled.

"Aren't I always here when this happens?" Kaede asked, as she began to change the bandages.

"How'd you know I was a miko? Does this happen often? Who is it that does this?" Kagome spoke rapidly.

Kaede laughed. "Well, I'm a miko myself so I detected it. Things like this do happen somewhat regularly. I cannot reveal that; you must consult Inu-Yasha here about that."

Kagome looked at the sulky hanyou who said, "Keh! You have to finish your story first."

"Oh, right. As I said, I got this terrible felling that told me I needed to go see my father. So, I ran to his office and found him there on the floor of his office. He had a gunshot wound and was trying to reach the phone on his desk. He was too weak to get it though so I ran to him and tried to help him. He kept saying, 'I trusted him. Why? I'm a fool! Why? He couldn't have.' That was about the time he realized that I was in the room. He looked at me and said, 'Protect the Shikon! Don't let him find it! It is yours! Tell the rest of the family that I love them and that they need to protect it too!' I looked into his eyes and asked him who was responsible for this. Otou- san said, 'He is, Kagome! I can't believe I trusted him! At least you and Midori and Souta are alright! I love you all so much!' I saw such betrayal in those eyes my heart broke. I wasn't strong enough to help him and half the messages he wanted me to remember I don't even understand!"

Tears flowed freely down her face now, and Sango was instantly at her side trying to comfort her.

"Then, (hic) we realized that half of our bank accounts had been emptied and we barely had enough for the (sniffle) funeral ceremony. We couldn't keep on living in that expensive apartment. Luckily, jii-chan could never sell the shrine so we weren't left homeless." she began to wipe the tears away and compose herself.

They sat in silence for a while until Kaede took notice of Miroku's outfit which happened to be the same one he'd been wearing for his little performance that morning.

"Miroku!! What are you wearing???!!!!"

He looked down at his clothes and chirped, "Oh, these! The shirt is Sango's favorite color! Pink! The shorts are my favorite pair of shorts because Sango likes them!"

"I never said that Miroku! I said that they were nice because I didn't want to hurt your feelings"

"Ugh! Well, I figured you liked short shorts!" Miroku stood up and began to dance. He then began singing. "Who likes short shorts? We like short shorts! Who likes short shorts?"

"We like short shorts!" Sango and Kagome cried out, giggling.

Inu-Yasha was the only one who didn't find it funny.

"SHUT UP OR LEAVE!"

The three of them looked at each other. "What if we refuse to leave?" they asked simultaneously.

"I'll make you leave!"

The three of them grinned. "So, your point?"

"So, my point is that all of you are annoying!"

"We could've told ya that!" the three said together, smiling.

A/N- Well there ya go. This chappie was a little depressing. I was crying the whole time I typed Kagome's story, so I had to end it a little more lighthearted.

NEways, I'll be okay. I've been crying all day, because I finished reading A walk to Remember. I haven't watched the movie, but the book was great. Sad, but great!

The authoress must take her leave!

Sakura Minomura

Oyasumi nasai, Minna-san!


	11. InuYasha's Story

Hi!It's Friday!does happy dance The fair is in town!YAY!

Review Responses:

Seeing as how I've took so long to update, I'm gonna skip this section for right now and save it for next chapter.Gomen, this was just a hard chappie to write.So many explanations, I have to make sure I get it all right.

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Eleven

Inu-Yasha's Story

The four teenagers were sitting in Inu-Yasha's living room.The Miroku and Inu-Yasha were playing Grand Theft 3.The two were having a contest to see who could blow up the most cars in a span of fifteen minutes.Miroku had the controller right now and was now working on car number sixty-seven.He was currently ramming the car repeatedly into a concrete wall.

"You stupid!WHY WON'T YOU BLOW UP!"could be heard all through the neighborhood.

The timer on a stove in the other room (a stove, Kagome was sure, had only been used for a timer in cases like these and to cook only one food, Ramen.) causing Inu-Yasha to yell, "HAH!I WON!"

"NO!LET'S DO THE FIVE OUTTA SEVEN!!!!!"soon followed.

Kagome and Sango sat on the other couch because that was the farthest they could get away from the screaming boys.Sango had all her high school yearbooks out, frshman year through the present year, showing Kagome who to watch out for.

"This guys a bit of a stalker,"she was saying.

"Don't need another one of those,"Kagome sighed.

Sango shot her a weird look before continuing,"Stay away from him.He has a thing about platapuses (You know those things that are like a cross between a duck and a beaver -- I can't spell.)This girl is not worth hanging out with.AND I'M GONNA KILL THIS GIRL, SO IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER YOU TALK TO HER OR NOT!!!!"

"Yura, huh?What'd she do?"

"I don't wanna talk about it!"she growled.

"Okay....!"

Kagome picked up the the book from Sango's Sophomore year.She thumbed through the book, but when she reached the end, she found a snapshot.In the photograph, there were four teens that appeared to be on Inu-Yasha's front lawn.She recognized three of them.Miroku had his arm around Sango, smiling a frighteningly innocent smile.Sango looked like she was going to explode from something akin to anger and/or annoyance.

'There's no telling what he did....'Kagome thought.

Her eyes then wandered to the other pair.It was Inu-Yasha with his arm around a girl she didn't recognize, and it caused a slight pang of pain in her chest that she decided to ignore.Inu-Yasha had a small smile on his face, but the girl didn't look at all happy.Kagome realized that the girl in the picture was familiar to the girl she saw in the mirror every day.This girl was an almost perfect likeness of herself except really depressed and withdrawn.Kagome turned the photo over and found the writing on the back Sango, Miroku, Inu-Yasha, and Kikyo.Best Friends Forever.

It was about this time that Inu-Yasha and Miroku came and sat on the other side of Sango.Inu-Yasha wore a triumphant smirk, and Miroku wore a deep pout.Sango laughed at Miroku and said "Kawaii!" causing him to perk up some.

'They all look so happy,'Kagome thought.'Maybe they won't mind me asking who Kikyo is.'

"Who's Kikyo?"Kagome asked somewhat bluntly.

All the happy faces were wiped clean replaced with hurt looks, the most defined of them all belonged to Inu-Yasha.

"How...how do you....know about.....Kik.....her?"Sango asked.

"I found this,"she replied, holding out the picture.Inu-Yasha grabbed it, his expression darkening as he ripped the photo into a million peices.He then stormed out of the room and leapt gracefully over the stairs onto the second floor where his bedroom was located.

Miroku glanced at the stairs before speaking."Look, me and Sango hafta go.Ask Inu-Yasha about it and try to understand.This is a touchy issue for him.Don't take any of the insults seriously. Okay?"

Kagome nodded, out of lack of a better answer.

Sango and Miroku smiled fake looking smiles as the exited the house.After they left, she just sat there dumbstruck for few minutes.Slowly, she rose and walked up the stairs.She knocked on the bedroom door.

"Leave me alone!Just leave!"came the angry reply.

Kagome ignored him and walked in.He looked up from his place on the window sill.He appeared to have been staring blankly at the bakyard.He had his knees pulled up to his chest; his arms were crossed and laid on top of his knees.

"Crap!Forgot to lock the door!"she heard him mutter.

"Tell me what's going on.You know, with the attacks, about...her, where you're parents are, who betrayed you.I don't know anything about you.Don't you trust me?"she asked.

"I can't trust anyone!That's my problem!"he snapped.

The words stung Kagome worse than she imagined they would.Tears welled up slightly in her eyes.

"You can trust me!"she said in quiet anger and sadness.She sat on the edge off the sill beside him.

"How to I know that?!"he asked, turning to look at her face.He stopped at her downcast eyes, filled with tears.'She's crying!'he thought, astonished.'Why?'

"I just wanna help!"she cried."I know what it's like to be in pain over what others do!"

She lifted her eyes to meet his gaze."Please!I just wanna help!"

His eyes widened slightly.Yes, he admitted to himself, Kikyo had told him about the same thing when he became upset over his past.She had brought up the issue of his parents and why he lived the way he was living now.But it was different when Kagome said it.The look in her eyes were different.She wasn't stoic the way Kikyo was, wasn't the masked understanding he thought Kikyo showed.Everything about Kikyo had been fake, he realized now.

Kagome was different somehow.The emotions- compassion, understanding, pain- were all real.; in her voice, in her eyes.They weren't the false actress emotions he sees in his memory of Kikyo's eyes.Why he hadn't seen that then, he'd never know.

Inu-Yasha felt as though he could trust Kagome in a way he could never trust Kikyo.His mind finally told him to tell her.He finally looked back out the window, relinguishing the hold on her eyes he had unknowingly possessed.

Kagome was filled with a sense of relief and sadness when he finally looked away.Relief because of the confusion, indecisiveness, and painful memories those eyes held.It was as though he saw right through her.As tough he were somewhere else looking into another time and place.Sadness because, well she didn't know.It was the same pain she'd felt when she saw the picture.Disappointment?Could she call it that?She set it aside and decided to think about it later.

"I'll start with the attacks.The attacks came from my half-brother, Sesshoumauru, or Naraku, or both.They both want something of me."

"What do they want?"

"I.....I tell you....later.I have to be sure.....of something first, okay?"

"Okay."

"Well, they're both after some of my.......possessions.So, sometimes it's Sesshoumauru. Sometimes it's Naraku."

"But it happens quite often, right?Why don't you do something about it?"

"They are powerful men!Who will the courts belief?!HUH?!Some dirty, little half-breed punk or some corporate executives!They got the money; they got the power!I'm not an idiot!I know how the world works!You're just plain stupid!"he yelled.

"Sorry!I didn't mean it as an insult!Geez!"her annoyance was evident.

Inu-Yasha smirked inwardly.He knew that the best way to end a conversation you don't want to have is to make the one you're talking to mad.He could practically hear her blood boil.He knew she would storm out soon.Everyone else he'd talked to had never gotten farther than the "Konnichi wa" will out getting insulted, getting mad, and storming off.Except Miroku, Sango, and Kikyo.

'Let's see how patient Little Miss Kagome is!'Inu-Yasha thought.

Slowly, she calmed down."Your father's gone but what about your mother?"

Inu-Yasha was taken aback for a moment but shrugged it off.'More patient than I took her for. Then again, even Kikyo made it past the first insult.Then again that's because she....'he stopped his line of thinking and directed his attention to Kagome.

"My mother's gone, too.She died when I was about ten,"he said.

"Who do you live with then?"

"I live here by myself.I've lived in this house since I was thirteen."

"It's that....illegal."

"Not if you're guardian is Sesshoumauru.He can do anything he wants, and he wants me here.I lived with him from the time my mother died till the day I turned thirteen.That was hell part of my hell on earth."

"Part?"

"Well, when I lived with my mother, I had no friends, but I knew everyone was and everyone knew me.There was one girl who was as outcast as I was.I think it was, because the way she acted towards others though.Not because she was like me.Well, it was my Sophomore year when I met her again.Her name was....."

"Kikyo!"Kagome said in sudden realization.

"Yeah, Kikyo.We recognized each other, and we recognized each other's loneliness.Well, that's what I thought until......"

"Until?"

"Until.......I found out......why....."

"Why?"

"Why she sought me out in the first place."

"What, my I ask?"

"No, you may not ask!Just leave it alone!Just leave me alone!"Inu- Yasha thundered.

Kagome winced."I'm sorry for bringing it up.I didn't mean to upset you."

"Then you shouldn't have asked then!"

Tears, once again, welled up in her eyes,"I just wanna help!I know what it's like to to be hurt.So don't think that you're the only one that feels pain!"

Tears flowed freely down her face now.She didn't turn her head away or try to hide the tears.She faced him and looked him in the eyes when he finally turned to face her again.

The feeling that shot through the two could almost be called electric.She'd only the known this boy and his friends for a few days, but she felt as if she'd known them all her life.She couldn't explain this feeling if she tried.Here she was, looking in his eyes, and, even though she had just met him, she could tell there was more to him than what you she'd seen on first glance.There was an inner beauty that she could tell that not many people had ever seen.Why did she see what others couldn't?Was it because she looked for it?Was it because she wanted to see it?Or did he want her to see it?Did he reveal his soul to her because he honestly trusted her?

Kagome was very confused now.She didn't know if the world was still turning or if the sun was still shining; all she was aware of was the boy in front of her.So acutely aware of the hurt, the pain, the joy, the hope, the confused yet strong emotions in his eyes.

How had he become so important in so little amount of time?

A/N- I'll continue this later.I'm trying to post this before the bus gets here.

Sakura Minomura has an Algebra test today.

Ja Matte! 


	12. Restraining Order Boy

Hello!How are all ya'll?Me okay, me thinks.Yes, I'll be okay I promise.  
  
Sakura didn't fail her Algebra test!Sakura didn't fail her Algebra test!YAY!!  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Nini4- (chap 10)I told you who it was so you can't take my sugar!Ha!Yes, I do fear your wrath and you should fear mine!*brandishes claws* (chap 11)You can't beat me up because here's your update!Glad you like the sugary sweet stuff!  
  
Spider- (chapter 10)I hope chap 11 explained a little bit more.Glad you're enjoying it!  
  
AngelicFairy- (chap 10)I sorry Kag's story was depressing, but I think it makes the feeling of the story slightly more realistic.Everyone has certain sad moments in their life and I didn't want it to seem so happy it was...unreal.The thing the Inu crew with come to understand (At least I hope I write it right) is that you have to take the good with the bad.To smile at the good and respect the bad.No one would understand the goodness of life if they didn't have the bad.We wouldn't cherish all the great memories we have if we didn't realize how bad it could've been.Does that make any sense?  
  
pensquared- (chap 10)Yeah the pink shirt and the shorts are kinda ugh! wasn't it?*shrugs*(chap11)Yeah he is isn't he?Well, that's what makes Inu/Kag my favorite pairing (as opposed to Inu/kik).I think that Kag can forgive Inu for anything because she sees the good person he really is!She sees past the rude facade he puts up to protect himself!I believe that if Kag had been in Kikyou's shoes she couldn't have forced herself to shoot him with that arrow.Then again Kag would have grown up different therefore possible altering her views a little.Then again I just don't like Kikyou.Well, her clay pot form anyway!She's EVIL!!!!!!!  
  
inuyasha-girly-2007- (chap 10)Yeah, it was kinda sad.Sorry 'bout that!!(chap 11)Here's the update! ^-^  
  
Shinnyu Kudzu- (chap 10)Yes Kikyou will get the crap kicked outta her on account of the fact that I don't like her!She's EVIL!!!EVIL I TELL YOU!!!Oh and hey, could you give me some caffeine?!I need some!  
  
bluefuzzyelf- (for chappie ten)YAY!!You're sugar high!And you have inu's story!(for chappie 11) I know but......  
  
Silver Magiccraft- (chap 10)*really sweetly*Silver, where's my Ramen?You said you had my favorite food and you'd give it to me when I updated.I've updated twice so where is it?*snicker* Glad you liked the fluff!  
  
Anti [.] Poptarts- (chapp 11) I'm sorry it was so sad; there was going to have to some more serious scenes and most of the serious scenes will be sad.This chappie should be happier and more light- hearted.I wanted to pick the mood back up to funny/happy.  
  
WildfireDreams- (chap 10)Yep.^-^*singing* Who likes short shorts!I like short shorts!!  
  
ladykaa28- (chap 11)YAY!!I passed the test!I hope this answers some questions!(Note the word hope!)  
  
Earth Borne- (chap 11)Here's the update!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
Restraining Order Boy  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome still found themselves in each other's company.Kagome was still sitting on the window sill, but now they were silent.They both just staring out the window and watching birds flutter in the backyard.A gentle silence had drifted over them, and they were contented in each other's presence which was all that really mattered.Knowing that they were both happy was enough to stifle the questions in their minds.They were both happy; finally happy for the first time in a long while.Both realized, however, that happiness, as well as silence, were easily shattered.  
  
Kagome had leaned back against the wall and had a gentle smile on her face.Inu-Yasha noticed her ethereal beauty, her serene expression, and her heavenly grace that so perfectly matched her voice.It was about this time he heard a car pull up in the driveway.  
  
He sighed internally.'Probably Sango and Miroku.We had better go back into the living room or Miroku will assume something.........well Miroku will assume something anyways.'  
  
"Kagome....,"Inu-Yasha whispered gently.  
  
The tenderness in his voice startled her, but she pretended not to notice.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Come on.Let's go back downstairs, okay?"he said, standing and offering her his hand.  
  
'Please take my hand!Please take my hand!'his mind chanted, his face bright red.  
  
'WAIT!Why do I care?!'he asked himself.  
  
'Because.....,'the inner voice started but was cut off by a delicate hand intertwining itself around Inu's outstretched palm.  
  
Despite what he kept telling himself, he did enjoy the feel of her fingers wrapped around his.He walked slowly down the stairs with her walking silently beside him.They reached the bottom of the stairs and walked slowly to the couch they had occuppied before the Kikyou incident*She sat down on the couch, and Inu-Yasha sat beside her, their hands still clasped.It was about this time that the door swung open causing the two hands to part with lightening speed that a person attains in a moment of embarassment.Sango and Miroku walked through the door and turned to look at the pair on the couch who were glowing bright red.Miroku's perverted smile appeared and looked like a kid at Christmas.  
  
Miroku walked over to Inu and sat beside him.He whispered something into his ear and immediately had his shins kicked hard by a tomato-red Inu- Yasha.Kagome and Sango watched in slightly annoyed amusement.Sango sat beside Kagome and smiled warmly.  
  
"You and Inu-Yasha have fun bonding?"she asked innocently.Maybe Miroku was rubbing off on her after all.  
  
But before Kagome could answer, the door once again burst open.A blued- eyed wolf boy stood there, looking around the room till his eyes fell on Kagome.Inu-Yasha watched in something akin to horror and/or shock as the boy crossed the room and took his angel's hands into his.  
  
"My love!How I've missed you!"the odd boy declared.  
  
"KYAAAAAAAA!"Kagome screeched as she jumped over the couch and jerked her hands free of his grasp.  
  
"KOUGA!"she yelled, pointing at him."Why are you here?Are you stalking me, again?What happened to the restraining order?"  
  
"Nothing could keep me from you!That is the extent of my love!"he paused."The fact that my uncle is the best lawyer in the whole country doesn't help at all."  
  
Kagome was shaking her head pitifully and sighing.Then she put on an obviously (obvious to everyone but Kouga) fake smile.  
  
"Kouga, I'm sorry, but I'm busy, so could you please leave,"Kagome said.  
  
"But I've just arrived!Can't I stay a little longer?We've just been reunited!"he exclaimed.Kagome could hear Inu-Yasha growling at the wolf.She didn't know why exactly, but she knew it couldn't bring anything good.  
  
"I'm sorry, but you need to leave."  
  
"I shall not leave you here with these dogs!"he shot Inu-Yasha a glare.  
  
"You heard her.She said to leave!Get outta my house!"Inu-Yasha yelled, glaring back at Kouga.  
  
"Kouga!!LEAVE!!!"her voice had a warning tone.Kouga appeared to have recognized the underlying threat and cowered slightly.Then, he smirked.  
  
"Still as feisty as ever, I see.It makes you all the more beautiful!"Inu-Yasha snorted at this, but Kouga just glared at him and continued."I shall see you later, my love."  
  
Kouga took her hand and kissed it.He then turned and walked out the door.  
  
Kagome sighed and went back to her seat, muttering,"Dear god, what did I do to deserve that?!I'm not that bad of a person, am I?"  
  
Inu-Yasha chuckled, seemingly the only one who could make out what she said.The other two in the room shot him a quizzical glance.  
  
"Well, that was certainly odd,"Miroku said a few moments later.  
  
"An old aquaintance, Kagome?"Sango asked.  
  
"An old stalker,"she said then added."Damn his lawyer."  
  
They stared at her for a moment.  
  
"Language, Kagome.Language,"Miroku said in a fatherly voice.  
  
"Oops!Did I say that at loud?"  
  
"Yes, you did.If you work on it though, you could be Inu-Yasha's rival,"Miroku said.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Yeah!You can beat him Kagome!"Sango chirped.  
  
"Keh!She couldn't beat me!Come to in the kitchen so we can set the timer!"Inu-Yasha leapt to his feet.  
  
"WHAT TIMER??!!!!"Kagome screeched, thoroughly confused.  
  
"The one we're gonna use for the contest!"  
  
"WHAT CONTEST???!!!!!"Kagome was just annoyed now.  
  
"We're gonna see who can say the most cuss words in a minute!"Inu- Yasha was gettong excited now.  
  
"I have no intention of playing that!"the girl said.  
  
"Then, I'll challenge you, Inu!"Miroku and Inu-Yasha sped towards the kitchen.Obscenities were then shouted through the household.The two girls sighed and sat down on the couch to listen to the contest in the kitchen.  
  
"Boys...,"Kagome sighed a moment later when Inu-Yasha shouted "HA!I beat you again!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Well, Kouga.We have all your paperwork filled out.You're ready to come learn with us bright an early tomorrow morning."the little bald principal said.  
  
"Good!"Kouga said."And you're sure Higurashi Kagome goes here, right?"  
  
"Yeah, she's the new girl.She just started here.Why?"  
  
"Oh, no reason.Just curious."  
  
A/N- Kagome's gonna have her hands full!*snickers*I hadn't initially planned it like this, but the idea struck me (during an evil moment of course!) and I was like "Ooooooooooohhhh!That would be so funny!!!!"  
  
*how is it that Kikyou can cause trouble without being present?  
  
And I was thinking about the ending (which I don't think will be soon, I'm just planning this out now so it won't be a hassle later) I've come up with two endings.Should I use the fluffy, romantic ending, the funny yet somewhat fluffy ending, or have two (alternate) endings?This is your, as the readers, to decide.I like it both ways so I need your input!Please!I want you to enjoy the ending(s)!  
  
Sakura Minomura is in need of some help.  
  
Ja Matte, Minna-san! 


	13. The Announcement of the AntiTalent Show

I'm back!!*crickets chirp*With a new chapter!*scattered applause**sigh*NEways....  
  
Review Responses:  
  
bluefuzzyelf- I've heard these competitions before.There very funny!I've never been in one but *shrugs*Oh well.Here's the update!  
  
inuyasha-girly-2007- Thanks for the feedback!^-^I wanna know how ya'll want it to be!So glad you're liking it!  
  
Nini4- I'm sorry about the Kouga thing!He's gonna be an important part of the plot.In my opinion, Kouga is one of the things that makes Inu have the realization that there are many people that will claim Kag's heart if he doesn't.Of course, this realization will lead to fluff!And I'm really sorry but Kikyou will be in the story.She, too, is important to the plot, but don't worry.Kikyou(whom I hate) is at the top of my "Anime Character Hit List" along with Naraku(whom I hate), Jaken(whom is ugly beyond all words), and Hojou(whom is so sweet he's creepy).She'll get hers in the end.  
  
Silver Magiccraft- I was kidding!Don't bite my head off!*pout*But the ramen was good!^-^Here's the update!  
  
ladykaa28- Thanks for the input!^-^I know.Her life is really hard.Read the review addressed to Nini4.I explain my reasoning in it.And, yes, Kouga will find out what he's messing with.  
  
pensquared- She will have an interesting life, won't she?Thanks for the feedback^-^ As of what Miro-chan said, not even I want to delve into the many perverted things that could have spewed from his mouth.Interpret it any way you want.  
  
crimson dragon6- I'm so glad you're confident in my abilities!= )But I don't really know how to do the ending!I can't decide!The voices in my head might decide on doing a manaical ending and I don't want that!  
  
lucrezia-senda-nyght- Don't apologize for being strange!Strange is fun!The coolest shirt I"ve found is the one that says "You laugh because I'm different.I laugh because you're all the same."I love that shirt!Yes, us special people have to stick together!I don't know how to tell when you're on a sugar high, but if you're to tired to move, that's a sign that you've come down of the sugar and need more!I say this from experience!You are the first person to review both of my stories!You win the chocolate!*hands lucrezia a life supply of chocolate*Thankies^-^!  
  
Sol-chan- The Random Queen is back!YAY!!!!Don't threaten me!I've been a good girl.........today anyway.If you hear about a girl running out of Algebra class screaming "Kaze no Kizu" and raving about squirrels and calling people offensive names in Japanese and ultimately ending up in a padded room, that's me.Watch the news.You may have to help me escape!The new inu story is coming soon.I'm still working out the kinks.-_-`Stupid kinks!  
  
IMPORTANT A/N- In this fic, Kouga is the true stalker.You know, goes under- cover and trys to find everything out about the person's (Kag's) life and her friends live's through whatever means possible.He's more..... creepy than in the anime/manga.This will explain some of the things he knows in this chapter.  
  
DISCLAIMER: What did I say in the earlier chapters!We still live in a democracy, don't we?Oh, and any who wants a position of power in my new world order just needs to chip in a help me take control.*Mom runs up and whaps Sakura in the back of the head*  
  
ITIA!!WHAT WAS THAT FOR!!  
  
Mom:For promising all our crazy friends that they could take over the world!!  
  
*muttering*You won't say that when we take over the world!  
  
Mom:WHAT?!  
  
NOTHING!!!!!!!!*laughs manaically*  
  
Mom:*backs away slowly*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
The Announcement of the Anti-Talent Show  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome and her three new-found friends sat in the corner of the gym, away from most of the rest of the students.There were a few more leather- adorned teens, but Kagome hadn't been formally introduced so she pushed the matter aside.  
  
The whole school was gathered in the gym.There was a 'special' announcement, and everyone's presence was required.The teachers had refused to tell them what was going on, but they had said that they demanded participation.Participaton they weren't likely to get.  
  
"AHEM!"the short, bald principal, Mizoguchi-sama, cleared his throat loudly."We have called you here to make an announcement.~(Several 'duh's and 'yeah, ya think?!'s rose from the students at this point)~We are very proud to present our first annual talent show!"  
  
Mizoguchi beamed at the students and continued,"Each of you will have the chance to enter this competition!There is, however, one other thing I'd like to mention.All drama students must have an act, skit, or talent that they must present at this show as part of their drama grade."  
  
It was at this point that many people paled considerably.......including Inu-Yasha and Kagome.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*snicker*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(that afternoon right as students are being dismissed)  
  
"I DON'T HAVE A TALENT, DAMN IT!!"Inu-Yasha screamed again."WHY ARE PEOPLE OUT TO GET ME!!AND THEY GIVE US A FEW DAYS TO PREPARE!!!UGH!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha then felt compelled to kick the closest thing to him which happen to be the side of the school building.Needless to say, he left a crater and a considerably large mess.  
  
"Inu-Yasha!"Kagome, the only student not running to get out of the school gates and away from the hanyou, said gently."It'll be fine!We'll figure something out!"  
  
"No, WE won't!I can handle this myself!"  
  
"I was just trying to help!"  
  
"Well, don't wench!!!!"  
  
A masculine voice interupted the argument."You will not speak to my woman that way, mutt-face!!"  
  
"Huh?"Most of the remaining teenagers ready to leave the school stopped and turned to watch.  
  
"WHO'S WOMAN?!"Kagome thundered."I'm no one's property!"  
  
Inu-Yasha looked shocked for a moment before turning his shock to anger."You heard her!She's not your property!Leave her alone!"He growled dangerously for effect.  
  
"And I suppose she's yours?"Kouga quirked an eyebrow.  
  
Inu-Yasha sputtered slightly."Yes...no...maybe....I mean.....!"  
  
Kouga's eyes narrowed considerably."Don't even think about being good enough for her!She is mine whether you like it or not!I've heard about you, you mutt!Always getting abandoned because of your worthlessness!Always alone because no one can stand you!How dare you think you'd stand a chance with Kagome!!You pathetic dog!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes were hidden behind his bangs and after a few seconds a growl emitted from his throat.It was about this time that he moved but in a flash he was gone.The next thing everyone knew, Kouga was on his knees clutching his stomach tightly.He coughed several times.  
  
"Don't you dare speak to me that way again!"Inu-Yasha spat through gritted teeth before stalking away towards his motorcycle.  
  
The next thing Kouga knew, was that Kagome was standing over him.  
  
"My sweet angel!"Kouga choked."Have you come to see how bad my injury is?"  
  
He lifted his head just in time to see her hand come down hard on his cheek.  
  
"How could you?!"Kagome screeched, backhanding the bewildered wolf.Kagome sped off in the direction Inu-Yasha had just left in, her face pale with anxiety.  
  
Kouga watched with a shocked expression.  
  
'Does she really care that much about him?!'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Inu-Yasha?Are you in here?!"Kagome stepped across Inu-Yasha's bedroom floor, but he was no where to be seen."Inu-Yasha?!Please answer me?!"  
  
When she got no response, she sat in the window sill overlooking Inu's backyard.The one they had both sat in the day before.She peered out over his yard and scanned through the trees.She then caught sight of a human- shaped black blur in one of the trees.The tree, Kagome realized, was the mighty Goshimboku that stood on the shrine grounds.  
  
'Inu-Yasha.....,'Kagome was out of the house and under the tree faster than she thought her human legs could take her.  
  
"Are you all right?Come down and talk to me.Please?"Kagome called.She heard Inu-Yasha jump in surprise.  
  
He quickly regained his composure."Go away!Now!I just wanna be left alone!"  
  
"I'm not leaving till you come down here!"she yelled back.She sat down and leaned against the base of the tree.  
  
Kagome kept her promise, too.Even as the sun began to set and she began to shiver because of the cold, she never moved.Her arms grew cold, and she could see her breath as she exhaled.She sat there until she finally drifted into an uncomfortable sleep.  
  
It was at this time that Inu-Yasha jumped down from the tree.He lifted the half-frozen girl into his arms.He looked down at her peaceful face as she snuggled close to his chest for warmth.He blushed slightly and held her tighter yet still gently.He leapt gracefully to her window sill and pushed open the window.He strode to her bed and laid her down.He pulled the cover up to her chin and tucked her in tight.He brushed her hair from her cheek and placed the strands behind her ear.A clawed finger then traced it's way down her jaw line and rested on her chin before rising to graze her lips just slightly.  
  
"What is it about you that steals my heart with just a smile?"he smiled slightly."Good night, my Kagome."  
  
"Good night, Inu-Yasha,"Kagome said in a way that made it clear that she was still asleep. "Remember, I'm here and I won't abandon you.So, don't be sad."  
  
She yawned but didn't stir as she snuggled deeper into her blankets.  
  
Inu-Yasha's smile widened as he listened to the slumbering Kagome talk in her sleep.It's said, Inu-Yasha couldn't help but think, that what one says in their sleep is a personification of their soul.It is impossible to be faked.This raised Inu-Yasha's hope as well as his heart.  
  
A/N *sigh*This is the second time I've typed this!It got erased!And it's like 12:00 at night and I'm falling asleep on the keyboard.  
  
I really enjoyed typing this chappie.It's one of my favorites because it sets the scene for most of the even cuter and fluffier scenes I have planned^-^  
  
Sakura Minomura needs sleep!  
  
*yawns*Oyasumi nasai, Minna-san! 


	14. The AntiTalent Show: The InuYasha Files

I have returned, my faithful readers!*bows*  
  
Mom:Sakura!I swear you're overdramatic!!  
  
*sweatdrop*Sorry  
  
Rwiew Responses:  
  
ladykaa28-*chanting*They beat up Kouga!They beat up Kouga!YAY!!!And I was doing the happy dance while I typed it.That's hard to pull off!.......Um......NEways, yeah, he'll warm up to her more I promise.  
  
vegito044- I'm glad you like it!!I'm so happy about all the response I'm getting!!You don't know what it means to me.Now this is coming from a girl who knows almost no anime fans and is made fun of because she likes it.To be able to coorespond through reviews is very helpful for me and the continuation (sp?) of this fic!*hint hint*  
  
inuyashaslovergirl- I love fluff.I love writing fluff.I love watching fluff.This fic will only get cuter!!!!!(*sweatdrop* hopefully.If my writing skills are as good as I hope they are.) NEW WORLD ORDER!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
crimson dragon6- Yes sleep is good.heh heh I....love....sleep......*snore**3 minutes later*HUH! WHOA!Wha....um....yeah.Oh, and don't worry.If I put Kag with anyone else, you won't kill me because I'll have killed myself already.AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU PEOPLE NOT TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR QUIRKS!!*huffs angrily*Now that I've got that outta my system.....  
  
bluefuzzyelf- Oh*smirks evilly*He has a talent and it'll be fun to read about especially because of the reaction he gets from the principal........*laughs manaically*......Okay.I'm definitely in an evil mood.  
  
ReinaQueen- *in a loud booming voice*INTRODUCING.......THE NEW CHAPTER!!!  
  
pensquared- I'm so glad it came out cute.That's what I was working towards.  
  
Earth Borne- I'm the kinda person that stays up till early in the morning reading fanfics so I call myself an insomniac......till I come off the sugar, like the other night for instance.*bows*And here is the chappie my friend.Here is the chappie!!!*stays bowed momentarily then jumps up*YAY!!!  
  
Green Eyes Silver Dragon- I'm so glad you like it!!I LOVE the quote.It states a very valid point and is quite commendable!^-^  
  
DISCLAIMER: I have no power over what happens in the Inu-Yasha storyline as it doesn't belong to me yet.But when it does, Kikyou will be the first to go!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Fourteen  
  
The Anti-Talent Show: The Inu-Yasha Files  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Everything had been going by faster the last two days or so it seemed for Kagome.Nothing exciting had really happened, and only four fights broke out.  
  
Of course Inu-Yasha and Kouga had to get into at least one fight, and of course Sango and Miroku got into a fight because of Miroku's *inappropriate* actions and/or words.The other fights, however, left Kagome at a loss for words.The first weird argument (this is based on what happened to me the other night only at a basketball game and I didn't get into trouble either) had been the one she'd had with some little girl at the grocery store.The little girl had found it funny to turn around and hiss at her thinking that Kagome would get scared or startled.Kagome did the only logical thing to do and the one thing the girl didn't expect.She growled at the little girl.So there she was, standing in the grocery store, having a hissing and growling fight while the rest of the store vacated the area.It finally ended when Kagome's mom showed up.It was quite embarrassing to have her mom scold her in front of the entire store.  
  
The other fight was.......creepy, to say the least.It was a rather normal, well, as normal as it got for Kagome, when she arrived at school.It was still pretty normal then as well.When she was sitting in class, a relatively small sized class of about fifteen people, the line between normal and downright creepy decided to cross.The argument started out somewhat normal too.It was the regular "ooh!I know which girl you like and am going to bug the crap outta you 'cause of it" argument.The two boys that sat beside her were starting to get loud when she finally tuned in to the argument.It finally got creepy when the first guy (the one taunting his friend) said " And when you get married, you'll finally be Mrs.Nagasaki!!!" Of course his friend took offense to bieng called a "Mrs." and leapt from his seat.The two then began to argue about the second boy's true gender was.The teacher had to get involved by saying "Yeah, you do look like a girl.I've always wondered about you..." The boy finally got upset and said "You want a Biology lesson!Fine!I'll give you one." As he said this he began to drop his pants.Kagome buried her face in her hands and turned away, realizing what was fixing to happen.A few moments later "SEE!I TOLD YOU!!!!" Kagome went through the rest of the day thoroughly disgusted.  
  
There had been one moment she had quite enjoyed, but she wouldn't think about that for fear of blushing and grinning like a maniac.She tucked the memory away safely and continued to the back of the stage, where she would wait for her name to be called to take the stage.  
  
She waited in a chair as people were called and covering her ears as people screeched lyrics to songs thoroughly slaughtering them.It was nearing her turn to take the stage when Inu-Yasha appeared at her side.  
  
"How you liking the anti-talent show?"he asked making Kagome jump.  
  
"Where did you come from?!You scared the living sh-"  
  
"Watch that mouth Kagome.You'll get as bad as me!"he snickered.She glared playfully at him.  
  
"So....how are you liking the anti-talent show?"he asked as he plopped down beside her.  
  
"The anti-talent show.....?"she said slowly turning to look questioningly at him.  
  
"Well, yeah.A talent show is supposed to be a display of talent and being as there aren't anyone with talent here, it's not a talent show,"he shrugged slightly as he flashed her a cute, lopsided grin.  
  
Her heart soared as she looked at that smile.It reminded her of a few days before and how he began to trust her more.Her eyes glazed over as she began to replay the scene in her head.  
  
Inu-Yasha wasn't going to let her however as he quickly clapped in front of her face, scaring her once more.He snickered as she glared sulkily.  
  
"Now we present Mamouru, Inu-Yasha!"a voice called out.Inu-Yasha smirked as he rose to take the stage.Kagome could see the mischievious(sp?) glint in his eyes and inwardly cringed.The only coherent thought was 'Uh oh....'  
  
Kagome stood up and walked to an angle where she could clearly view him as he handed his cd to Manten, the stage manager, who popped it into the sound system.As the music started, she instantly recognize the song, making her simple 'Uh oh.' escalate into an 'Oh, God, no.'  
  
Then Inu-Yasha began to sing.......well right after he dedicated it to Naraku, Sesshoumauru, and Kouga.  
  
~* I ain't gonna eat, I ain't gonna sleep  
  
I ain't gonna breathe till I see what I wanna see  
  
And what I wanna see is you go to sleep in the dirt  
  
Permanently, you just being hurt, this just ain't gonna work  
  
For me, it just wouldn't be sufficient enough  
  
'Cause we are just gonna be enemies  
  
As long as we breathe, I don't see either of us  
  
Comin' to terms where we can agree  
  
There ain't gonna be no reason, speakin' wit me  
  
You speak on my seed, then me no speak-a ingles  
  
So we gonna beef and keep on beefin' unless  
  
You gonna agree to meet wit me in the flesh  
  
And settle this face to face, and you're gonna see  
  
A demon unleashed in me that you've never seen  
  
And you're gonna see....*~  
  
This was about the time the principal overcame his stupor and stopped the cd.  
  
"OFF STAGE NOW!!!!!"he bellowed.  
  
Inu-Yasha smirked as he exited the stage."Sorry but I couldn't help but insult somebody in the process.You know that better than I do."  
  
'He has his facade back in place,'Kagome thought.'Why.....?'  
  
This thought was what caused her to replay the entire scene in her head.This time though, there were no interuptions.  
  
~*A/N-Okay, so I'm sitting here at 12 in the afternoon eating Fruity Pebbles(Which is a company I don't own and don't particuliarly wanna own seeing as Cocoa Pebbles are better but I already ate all of them) and I could end this here as I originally planned, but since everyone's been so nice and reviewed I'll keep going^-^*~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kagome stepped into Inu-Yasha's house and peered around.It had been a bad day for Inu-Yasha.After all the mess Kouga, the demons in the high school renewed their hostility towards Inu-Yasha at Kouga's request.For Inu- Yasha, it was one thing to be ignored as he typically was, but it was another to be glared at and taunted.The humans had also resumed the teases and comments. They had gained new courage in knowing that there were demons to help them.Kagome was thoroughly ticked off, of course.She was currently going to talk to Inu-Yasha as Miroku and Sango were going to set some people straight.  
  
Kagome headed straight for his room, knowing he was either there or at the Goshimboku.She reached for the handle of the door and turmed the knob a few times before realizing it was locked. She sighed as she picked the lock with the hair pin she'd brought just for this purpose.After a few moments the door swung open, and she stepped inside.  
  
Kagome quickly spotted Inu-Yasha whom was lying face down on his bed.He didn't look like he was in a talking mood, but she would try anyways.  
  
"Hey,"she said quietly."You okay?"  
  
He jumped slightly, just realizing she was there.'How...?!'he thought baffled.'How does she sneak up on me like that?!If she would've been anyone else, I would've detected her as soon as she walked into the house.How can my mind and senses be so accostumed to her that she can waltz in without setting off my warning alarms?!It doesn't make sense!'  
  
He finally grunted as his peered at her."I'm fine.What do you want?!"  
  
"Nothing,"she shrugged."Just wanted to talk to you is all."  
  
His eyes widened a frraction.After all those taunts and teases that had been directed at her for being near him didn't faze her in the slightest.He could hear the jeers they had thrown at her.'Half-breed-lovin' hoe'(among other less eloquent words and insults) reverberating through his mind making his blood boil though he wasn't sure why.She was just a friend.Like Miroku and Sango... ...right?As he gazed into her dark eyes a resounding 'wrong' rang through his mind.  
  
She sat down beside him and smiled gently.  
  
"Why?"he asked.  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why would you still hang around me?After today I mean.After all they said to you for being anywhere near me!"he cried out.  
  
A perplexed look crossed her face."Why would I care what they think?If they knew anything about you or me, they wouldn't say those things."  
  
"But....wha...I mean...huh?!"he sputtered helplessly before becoming slightly aggravated."But it is true, Kagome!No one wants to be near me!I'm always being abandoned or betrrayed!I can't trust anyone completely for fear of being hurt!No one ever stays with me!They're scared of me!I'm a monster!See!Use your eyes!The ears on the top of my head prove that I'm a monster!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha would've continued, but Kagome stopped him.She marched over to him, grabbed his tendrils, and stood nose to nose with him.  
  
"Now you listen to me, Inu-Yasha!!You're not all those things!!And you're ears are adorable, and I won't here you say that!You're wonderful, Inu-Yasha!A little rough around the edges maybe, but you're still very sweet!!!Please don't say that about yourself!You're one of the greatest people around here!I would never think of betraying you.I would never think of abadoning you!"  
  
When she finally finished they stared intently at each other.....until they realized how close their faces were.They promptly leapt apart.They averted their eyes to watch the wall as they spoke.  
  
"You wouldn't leave me.No matter what?"his voice sounded hopeful yet with an underlying pain that comes with expecting rejection.  
  
"No!Not ever!"Kagome cried out."Never ever!!"  
  
"How can I believe you?"Inu-Yasha asked but the pain in his voice had subsided somewhat.  
  
"I'll prove it to you!"she wailed.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I'll find a way!I will!"she promised.  
  
Inu-Yasha gave her a skeptical look, but, when he say the determination in her eyes, he smiled. Not just a fake 'smiling-for-lack-of- a-better-response' either.It was a genuine smile.A smile that no one had seen since Kikyou left.  
  
As Kagome watched his features break into a smile, her heart melted and her face began to heat up.She smiled as well as she took his hand and held it in hers.She squeezed his hand reassuringly, and she couldn't help but blush when he squeezed back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~End Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- I figured that was a good place to leave it.The next chapter will be coming soon!We'll get to find out what Kagome is up to!Chapter Fifteen The Anti-Talent Show: The Kagome Files!  
  
Oh, and the song is called 'Go to Sleep' It's sung by Eminem, Obie Trice, and DMX.It's on the Cradle to the Grave soundtrack.I love that song.That's the song I listen to to blow off steam.  
  
Sakura Minomura needs some cereal.  
  
Ohayo Minna-san! 


	15. The AntiTalent Show: The Kagome Files

*sobs*I'm soooooo sorry!! My keyboard was broken!! I couldn't type nuthin'!!!! Since I took o long, I'm gonna skip the review responses and put them in the next chapter. I'm gonna say this. It makes more sense if you read at least part of the song. It's really a sweet song. It's sung by Reba McEntire and it's called 'I'll Be.' Don't ask me about the beat. I've only heard the song once and I can't remember it.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Not yet......  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women inFive Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Fifteen  
  
The Anti-Talent Show: The Kagome Files  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome knew what she had to do. She smiled as her name was called and she glanced at Inu-Yasha as she walked onto stage. She handed Manten her cd. Manten waited for her to get to the microphone before he pushed play, but she held a hand and motioned for him to stop.  
  
Her voice strong and soft she said,"I dedicate this to Mamouru Inu- Yasha because I won't let him go through this alone."  
  
Silence filled the room except the incoherent mutters which were coming from Inu-Yasha who couldn't come up with a reasonable reaction. Everyone stared from Kagome then to Inu-Yasha and back.  
  
Kagome nodded to Manten who began to play the song. Her voice was soft and perfect and entraced the audience right from the start with words full of heartfelt emotions.  
  
^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^  
  
When darkness falls upon your heart and soul,  
  
I'll be the light that shines for you.  
  
When you forget how beautiful you are,  
  
I'll be there to remind you.  
  
When you can't find your way,  
  
I'll find my way to you.  
  
When troubles come around,  
  
I will come to you.  
  
~*  
  
I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.  
  
Be your shelter  
  
When you need someone to see you through.  
  
I'll be there too carry you.  
  
I'll be there.  
  
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.  
  
The one that will hold on to you  
  
When you feel the rain falling down.  
  
When there's no one else around,  
  
I'll be.  
  
*~  
  
And when you're there with no one there to hold  
  
I'll be the arms that reach for you.  
  
And when you feel your faith is running low  
  
I'll be there to believe in you.  
  
When all you find are lies,  
  
I'll be the truth you need.  
  
When you need someone to run to  
  
You can run to me.  
  
~*  
  
I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.  
  
Be your shelter  
  
When you need someone to see you through.  
  
I'll be there to carry you.  
  
I'll be there.  
  
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.  
  
I'll be the one that will hold on to you  
  
When you feel the rain falling down.  
  
When there's no one else around,  
  
I'll be.  
  
*~  
  
I'll be sun  
  
When you're heart's filled with rain.  
  
I'll be the one  
  
To chase the rain away.  
  
~*  
  
I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.  
  
Be you're shelter  
  
When you need someone to see you through.  
  
I'll be there to carry you.  
  
I'll be there.  
  
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.  
  
I'll be the one to hold on to you  
  
When you feel the rain falling down.  
  
When there's nobody else around,  
  
I'll be.  
  
I'll be.  
  
^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ That's a really long song!^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^  
  
Kagome finished splendidly, and the entire audience sat stunned for a few moments......until applause erupted. People cheered and whistled. She also recieves several cat-calls which, in her opinion, could have been left out. She walked as daintily as possible off the stage. She rounded the corner to where Inu-Yasha stood, mouth agape.  
  
"Why....why.....,"Inu-Yasha sputtered."Why.......sing......that....for me?"  
  
"Because you're my friend,"she stated simply."And I don't abandon my friends. I won't let you be alone."  
  
"No one else would dedicate anything to me. Why you? What makes you different?"he asked.  
  
"I keep my promises. I told you I'd prove it, and I hope I did," she said. "And if I didn't, just tell me, and I'll try something else.So long as my friends are happy, I'm happy. *pause* As long as you're happy, I'm happy."  
  
She smiled encouragingly at him.  
  
He just stared at her as she turned and walked away. He stood there for along time, just staring into space. So many questions were running through his head, and he couldn't seem to find any answers. Finally, he smiled, soft and sweet, and began to make his way out to where Kagome and Sango sat watching the finishing act.....which just happened to be Miroku.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Rewind back to the beginning of Kagome's act only this time with Sango)  
  
Sango watched with rapt attention as Kagome took the stage. She listened intently to her words. 'Finally someone that might actually melt Inu-Yasha's heart and make him happy again.' she thought  
  
"I think that she really might be able to help our little inu. What do you think?"  
  
Sango turned to see Miroku standing there. He was smiling innocently as though he were planning something. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you up to?"  
  
"Me?" he asked, pointing to himself. "I'm not up to nuthin'"  
  
"Yeah, right,"she said sarcastically. "Tell me what you're up to now."  
  
"Okay...,"he sighed. "You caught me, but I can't tell you what I'm planning. It'll ruin the suprise."  
  
With this, he turned and walked away, humming a tune she didn't recognize. She couldn't help but sigh as she tried to think up what embarrassing antic that he had up his sleeve. Of course, she couldn't come up with anything.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(Fast forward to now)  
  
Kagome walked away, almost in a daze. Why she had phrased it the way she had she wasn't sure, but she knew it sounded way too sappy. 'I hope he doesn't think I'm lying.'she sighed mentally.  
  
She made her way over to Sango and sat down. 'Well, might as well enjoy the rest of the program.'Kagome thought.  
  
Sango and Kagome were chatting for about fifteen minutes when Inu- Yasha finally walked over to them. Kagome opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Miroku's introduction. All three heads turned towards the stage as Miroku's song started.  
  
A/N- Okay. I'm gonna end this here. The next part belongs under the Miroku Files so I can't make this longer without putting part of that chappie up. I know it's short and I'm sorry about that. I'll try and post the next chappie today too so you can get a double dose of How to Offend Women since you were all so patient and waited so long. Again, I'm really sorry about the wait.  
  
Sakura Minomura begins humming the same tune as Miroku.  
  
Ja matte!!!!! 


	16. The AntiTalent Show: The Miroku Files

Okay, I'm back!!!! I don't really know if I'm gonna keep doing review responses. They take up too much time and space, but if you wish to have me continue to answer your reviews please tell me so. It don't matter either way to me.  
  
Oh and at the bottom I'll tell you the name of the song. Let's see how many people recognize it...Technically it's not all true to what's happened so far but there's one line that I hear and think 'Miroku and Sango' Let's see if you can guess which one(s) is out of place and which one(s) aren't!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Sixteen  
  
The Anti-Talent Show: The Miroku Files  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sango buried her face in her hands as Miroku sang. Her face was bright red, and many people were staring at her and laughing. Miroku was, of course, grinning directly at Sango. Here's the song Miroku was singing.  
  
~*  
  
I got a little change in my pocket goin' jing-a-ling-a-ling  
  
Wanna call you on the telephone, baby. Give you a ring.  
  
But each time we talk I get the same ol' thing  
  
Always no huggin' no kissin' til I get weddin' ring.  
  
My honey, my baby, don't put my love upon no shelf.  
  
She said "Don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself."  
  
*~  
  
Cruel baby baby baby, why you wanna treat me treat me this way  
  
You know I'm still your lover boy, I still feel the same way  
  
That's when she told me a story 'bout free milk and a cow  
  
And she said "No huggin, no kissin' til I get a weddin' vow."  
  
My honey, my baby, don't put my love upon no shelf.  
  
She said "Don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself."  
  
~*  
  
You see, I wanted her real bad and I was about to give in  
  
That's when she started talkin' bout true love, started talkin' bout sin.  
  
I said "Honey I'll live with ya for the rest of my life"  
  
She said "No huggin' no kissin' til you make me your wife."  
  
I said "My honey, my baby, don't put my love upon no shelf."  
  
She said "Don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Everyone realized that it was Sango he was refering to. They had all witnessed Miroku's last stunt. They all new about Miroku's nature and Sango's stubborn, short-tempered personality. They all found it rather funny- except Sango.  
  
Sango could no longer look Miroku in the eyes, and she was about to kill Inu-Yasha if he didn't stop laughing. Kagome was the one who was trying to coax her out of the seat and back to the parking lot where Kagome could drive her home. It was then that Miroku decided to strode over, grinning impishly. Kagome glared at him menacingly.  
  
"Go away! I'm handling this quite well without you!"she said.  
  
"I wanna talk to my little honey!"he chirped in response.  
  
Sango looked up at him with the dazed look that someone who has been extremely embarrassed normally has. He shuddered nervously because he could see Sango's temper flaring up beneath that dazed look. He knew that the moment she snapped out of it, she'd kill him- or at least try. He began to turn and trot away and he yelled,"Um.....bye, talk to ya later." in a rather nervous voice. This is what triggered Sango to return to reality.  
  
"MIROKU!!!!!GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!!" Sango screeched. "I'LL TEACH YOU TO EMBARRASS ME!!!!!"  
  
This only caused him to run faster.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha stretched out on his bed, lost in thought. It had been a rather odd day for him. With the whole 'Kagome-song-thing' and 'Miroku-get- killed-for-his-song-thing', he was at a loss of words. He decided laying there was getting him no where so he decided to get up and find something to do. The first remotely interesting thing was the tripping on the bouncy ball on the floor. He cursed vividly before picking himself and the bouncy ball up and heading out his door. He tossed the ball in the air and walked rather aimlessly. He soon found himself at the large tree outside Kagome's window.  
  
'How the hell did I get here?!' he asked himself. 'Oh well.'  
  
He shrugged it off as he hopped up to the branch parrallel to her window. He smirked as he got an idea. After he'd determined that Kagome was, in fact, in her room and that he was properly hidden, he put his plan into action. He threw the bouncy ball (mindful of his strength, of course) and caught it as it bounced back. He hid his arm again as he heard the window open.  
  
"Hello?" he heard Kagome's tentative voice call out. A few moments later he heard her sigh and the window close.  
  
'It was as if she was actually hoping that there would be someone waiting outside her window for her?' he thought. 'Wonder who she was hoping to find?'  
  
'Maybe she was hoping to see me?' a little voice asked him quietly. He immediately stifled that voice and returned to the task at hand.  
  
Inu-Yasha had successfully excuted his plan three times before the cycle broke. This time when he threw it, he didn't hear it hit the window. After a few silent moments, he peeked around the side of his hiding position. BIG MISTAKE!  
  
He caught a glimpse of Kagome before getting hit in the forehead with the ball. He fell from his position from the tree and hit the ground quite harshly.  
  
Of course, Kagome wasn't unscathed either. Because it was a bouncy ball, it ricochetted off Inu-Yasha's head and hits her between the eyes. However, her landing on the carpet was much softer than Inu-Yasha's fall to the dirt.  
  
She picked herself up and dusted herself off. She walked over to the window.  
  
"Inu-Yasha? Are you alright?" Kagome called.  
  
"Yes.Well, besides the aches and pains all over my BODY!!!!"he shouted back.  
  
"I WAS JUST WORRIED!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO SARCASTIC ABOUT IT!!!" she shouted back.  
  
Within a span of a second, Inu-Yasha was in directly in front of Kagome. She blinked in surprise. Their faces were only centimeters apart, and Kagome was getting very flustered as was Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha was the one who finally broke the silence.  
  
"That hurt wench!"  
  
Her faced then flushed red with anger. "MY NAME'S NOT WENCH!!!" she paused, counted to ten mentally, and said,"Why don't you come in and get off the window sill?"  
  
Inu-Yasha was taken aback by her sudden mood swings but complied.  
  
"How was your afternoon?"She asked as she sat on her bed, motioning him to follow. He sat beside her with some reluctance but sat down none the less.  
  
"It was fine,"he mumbled.  
  
"That's good. Any reason you were outside my window?"  
  
He perked up slightly because he had a good answer for that one...but she cut him off.  
  
"BESIDES annoying me!"  
  
"I....I...wanted.....,"Inu-Yasha stuttered.  
  
Kagome tilted her head slightly in confusion. "Wanted what?"  
  
"I...wanted to see...you,"he replied slowly and deliberately.  
  
Kagome smiled in a surprised yet still very, VERY pleased manner. "See me? Why?"  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes darted around as if trying to find an answer from the room. Finally he said," 'Cause you're an odd wench."  
  
"WHAT?????????!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What did you say in response to why?"  
  
"I said ,'Cause you're an odd wench."  
  
"Let me get this straight. You finally get time alone with Kagome, and you two are getting along. So you have to ruin it."  
  
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT!!!"  
  
"You didn't mean to say,"he counted off the syllables. "Five simple yet upseting syllables. You know, you should write a book- How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less."  
  
"Miroku...,"Inu-Yasha growled. "I came to ask your advice, and I'm not getting anything worth listening too!"  
  
"I have one peice of advice."  
  
"Finally."  
  
"If you ever wanna get anywhere with Kagome, you don't insult her like that,"Miroku stated simply.  
  
"I'm not stupid, you idiot. I realize this."  
  
"You're NOT stupid? I'M the idiot? When did this happen?"  
  
"THAT'S IT MIROKU!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!!!"  
  
Muffled 'help's and screams could be heard coming from the room the two occupied.  
  
A/N- Miroku seems to be getting hurt alot in this chapter. Oh well....  
  
Sorry, this was supposed to be out Sunday but I went to visit my grandpa in the hospital so...  
  
Hope you enjoyed. I know the song was a little off being as there has been Sango/Miroku fluff already but 'Don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself' sounds like something Sango would tell Miroku. It really does sound like an argument the two would have. It may just be me though so...  
  
Well, I'll get the next chappie out soon. Oh, and if you want me to keep answering reviews, tell me. I wanna hear ya'll's opinion.  
  
Sakura Minomura is confused.  
  
Ja matte. 


	17. Disaster, Death, and Cookie Dough

Hiya peoplez! What'cha up to. K, this is what I decided to do with the reviewing thing. I'll answer the questions you want answered like ladykaa so helpfully supplied. Oh, and ladykaa, I gonna say that neither are really keen on sharing the same house. That and the fact Inu-chan is more brawn than brain seeing as he doesn't just con it outta Sessy. *Inu-chan: HEY!!!!* Sowwy...*snickers* But you really have a valid point. I'm blaming it on Inu-Yasha's denseness.....if that's a word  
  
Oh, and someone (don't remember who this is sorry. I'll find out in a minute) asked if I'd had a bad day and was taking it out on Miroku. I had a perfectly normal day if you can believe that. It's just that there's a guy I know that acts quite a bit like Miroku and that's how he always ends up. NEways, here's the chappie.  
  
(Guess what?! That's copied from the first chappie!!!! I got lazy!! And sorta bored with the random urge to play with the clipboarb options!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
Disaster, Death, and Cookie Dough  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'Yay......I'm so bored,' Kagome thought sarcatically as she walked down the street towards a random destination. It was Saturday, and she was trying to find somewhere to buy ingredients for cookies. Her eyes darted around restlessly yet still slightly weighed down with sleep. Her mom would pay for waking her up just to go to the store. Suddenly, she heard an engine rev behind her, and she jumped. There Kouga stood with his shiny new motorcycle obviously trying to impress her. The azure paint was a perfect match for his gleaming eyes.  
  
She didn't like the color at all. Besides, she liked red motorcycles much better. She blushed at that thought and the thought of a particular inu hanyou. Unfortunately, Kouga took the blush the wrong way.  
  
"I see you're finally falling for someone worthy of you. Wanna ride?" Kouga smirked.  
  
"No, Kouga. I'm quite alright," she replied. 'Oh no...this definitely spells disaster...' she thought forlornly.  
  
He walked towards her. "Come on, Kagome. It'll be just me and you."  
  
She flinched back as he neared. "No, like I said, I'm fine."  
  
He grabbed her upper arm and began to pull her to his Harley. "I'll make it worth you're while. What do ya say to that?" He grinned impishly.  
  
Kagome began to reply to that, but another voice rang out first.  
  
"I'd say she already has a ride, and she don't need your help."  
  
They both turned to see Inu-Yasha dismounting his hog. Kagome couldn't help but notice the muscles that rippled beneath the tight leather pants and red tee. She blushed and lowered her head as too hide it. Inu-Yasha caught it, however, and smiled happily with a slight daze. Kouga didn't seem to notice the little interchange.  
  
"Get out of here, Dogturd," he spat at him.  
  
"As you can see, she doesn't want to ride with you," Inu-Yasha snarled.  
  
"Well, lets ask her about it. Kagome, who do you wanna ride with?" Kouga asked her sweetly.  
  
Kagome, who had gone a little doe eyed at being put on the spot like that, said. "Well....I told Inu-Yasha I'd ride with him ....this morning.....and I...couldn't disappoint him. Let's go Inu-Yasha."  
  
Kagome walked slowly to Inu-Yasha, eyes glued on Kouga just in case tried something. Inu-Yasha, who had once again mounted his motorcycle, smirked in triumph. Kouga sputtered slightly, but he always seemed to recover quickly, didn't he?  
  
"Don't wanna disappoint him, huh? So, it's just a pity thing isn't it, Kagome?" Kouga asked challengingly.  
  
Inu-Yasha was stunned by the question and waited to hear the answer. 'Is this just a pity from Kagoma and nothing more? Does she really think I want pity? Do I look so helpless that I'd need someone to become my friend because of pure pity?' The questions sounded odd even to his own mind but they were each significant in some unexplainable way.  
  
Kagome's expression was thoughtful for a few seconds before answering.  
  
"I guess there is pity involved," she said slowly as one boy seemed to break on the inside while the other smirked. Then she added, "Pity that you can't be more like Inu-Yasha."  
  
At this, she threw her leg over the back of Inu-Yasha's hog. She clutched his leather-adorned shoulder and whispered so that only her hanyou companion could hear, "Come on, Inu-Yasha. Show him what a real biker can do."  
  
Inu-Yasha smiled as he revved the engine and sped off with a speed Kouga could never hope to achieve.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What are we looking for again?"  
  
"Ingredients for cookies," Kagome stated for the forty-fifth time.  
  
Literally. She was keeping count. She planned to maul him when he reached fifty.  
  
"Oh," Inu-Yasha said. He began to poke through different boxes and packages. He turned onto another aisle and out of sight. He returned a few seconds later.  
  
"Is this an ingredient of cookies?" he asked holding up several packages of ramen.  
  
"No, Inu-Yasha, it's not," she sighed, knowing what would come next.  
  
"Oh," he said. Then he looked at her expectantly. "Can we get it anyways?"  
  
"NO! How many times do I have to tell you that?!"  
  
"Please Kagome!!! I forgot my wallet!!!! I want ramen!!!!!"  
  
"Inu-Yasha, you have an almost unlimited amount of ramen at your house. You'll be fine. That and I don't have any extra money on me either."  
  
Inu-Yasha turned and huffed indignantly. He returned the ramen to it's proper place and came up beside her.  
  
"What are we looking for again?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The two now stood in Kagome's kitchen stashing the newly bought food in various places.....  
  
.....well, until Kaogme went to put the carton of eggs away and found a note from her mom.  
  
~*  
  
Kagome dear,  
  
I've gone to the hospital. One of my friends have been hospitalized. Don't worry, she'll be fine. I'm afraid I won't be back in time to watch Souta when he gets home. He's having friends over today, I need someone to watch them for me. I was going to make cookies and refreshments for them. Could you please do it for me?  
  
Thanks,  
  
Mom  
  
*~  
  
Kagome groaned loudly causing her to gain Inu-Yasha's attention.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" he asked.  
  
"I have babysitting duties today! No fair!"  
  
"I'll help," Inu-Yasha said. "I've never helped babysit. How hard could it be?"  
  
Kagome raised her eyebrow but decided not to make a comment. Here was a perfectly good helper to keep the kids in check. Of course, he didn't know what he was getting himself into. She guessed it was for the better though. She hadn't had to talk him into it, at least.  
  
"I think we need to start on the cookies," she decided to say.  
  
"Cool.....I've never cooked before either....," Inu-Yasha said in amazement and began to put random foods into a bowl.  
  
Kagome shook her head. "No, that doesn't go in there. I daresay that ketchup won't taste good on chocolate chip cookies."  
  
"Oh, okay," Inu-Yasha set the ketchup down and began to grab the mustard.  
  
"Wait a sec. Let me help," she sighed. "We have to set the oven first so it can preheat. Do you think you can handle that?" She thought about that statement for a few seconds before saying,"Never mind. I'll set the oven just to be safe."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Mom! I'm home!!" Souta called as he lead about thirteen other boys to the living room.  
  
Loud screams were issuing form the kitchen.  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!!!! KAGOME, YOU KILLED THEM!!! YOU KILLED MY BABIES!!!!"  
  
"I DID NOT!!! YOU KILLED THEM!!!! IT'S YOU'RE FAULT!!! YOU STARTED IT!!!!"  
  
"YOU KILLED THEM!!! MURDERER!!!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha stomped out of the kitchen, and he was livid. He was covered from head to foot in cookie dough that had once appeared to have been cut into the shape of an animal. Kagome stomped out behind him equally covered in cookie dough. She too was livid.  
  
"I did not kill your babies. You did!" she ground out.  
  
"NO! You killed them, and you enjoyed doing it too!" Inu-Yasha growled. He didn't stop until he realized that he had knocked a little boy over. He turned to look at Souta. "Oh, and you're brother's home," he added as though forgetting why he was yelling at the girl standing in front of him.  
  
She opened her mouth to scream some more, but she stopped. "Hi Souta."  
  
"What was that all about?" he asked his sister as Inu-Yasha went to investigate the game the other boys were inserting into Souta's PS2.  
  
"Huh?" she asked every bit confused at the random subject changes.  
  
"The whole you killed my babies thing."  
  
"Well...it's a long story...," she said, drifting off into her own thoughts about what exactly had happened.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"We finally found something you're good at Inu-Yasha!"  
  
Inu-Yasha, who was covered in flour, milk, and other miscellaneous food stuffs, looked up. He grinned boyishly at her, the smile only being intensified by the smuff of chocolate on his nose. He was so alight with happiness, Kagome decided not to ask where the chocolate had come from and how it got there.  
  
"Who knew this could be so easy?" he chirped.  
  
Inu-Yasha was in charge of shaping the cookies. He had a red, dog- shaped cookie cutter and was cutting each dog with inhuman precision. After the first shape was cut, he'd use it's claws to perfect the shape. They looked magnificent.  
  
"You're really good at that! You're the master of the cookie cutters!"  
  
His eyes took on a mischievious glint. "I am the master! You better not forget it!"  
  
With this, he picked up a stray peice of dough and threw it at Kagome. It hit her cheek and fell to cling to her shirt. She stared at it dumbly before retrieving it and throwing it back at him. Though it wasn't as precisely aimed, it still landed in his hair.  
  
"Ha! I got you!" Kagome said.  
  
"That was a free shot! You're gonna get it now!" he began to gather dough around him after the other peice was out of his flour covered hair. He threw another peice at her with she tried to dodge though, with Inu- Yasha's hanyou against her, it still attached itself to her arm. She, of course, threw it back at him.  
  
"The means war!" she declared and began to take hold of what little dough that wasn't already claimed by Inu-Yasha.  
  
Within seconds, the whole kitchen had been covered in dough and there was a full scale war going on.  
  
After about ten minutes of continuous fire, everything was at a stand still. Kagome, who had long since ran out of ammo, had taken cover behind the counter. She had no clue as to where Inu-Yasha was at, but the silence was beginning to scare her.  
  
'What is he planning.....?' she thought slowly. 'There is no telling.......' She began to ponder about the possibilities.  
  
Within seconds, her reverie was broken. A blur appeared in front of her, thoroughly startling her into screaming. She squeezed her eyes shut as the figure pinned her to the side of the counter. She began to struggle against the arms though she was no match for the powerful arms that gripped her. Somehow she didn't feel all that scared. The arms pinning her felt more welcoming than intimidating, but she waved it off as stupidity and fought none the less.  
  
With her eyes still glued shut, she began to yell, "INU-YASHA!!!! COME HERE!!! HURRY!!"  
  
"I'm right here," her assailant said with humor in his voice.  
  
She soon found herself looking into golden orbs which were shimmering with child-like humor. Inu-Yasha was smirking at her, fangs glinting in the light. She sighed in relief.  
  
"Was widdle Kagome scared?" he said in a mocking tone.  
  
She grunted and rolled her eyes. "Let me up, Inu-Yasha."  
  
He cocked his head. "What if I don't wanna?"  
  
Kagome struggled for a moment. "Let me go!"  
  
"No," he said roughly.  
  
"Please?" she asked, smiling sweetly.  
  
His eyes softened considerablely. "I don't wanna," he gently, staring into her eyes. "I don't feel like it."  
  
"What do you feel like then?" she asked, her heart speeding up.  
  
Inu-Yasha smiled at her. "I like being close to you," he whispered.  
  
It was as though this comment made him really take into account their closeness. His eyes darted around frantically, like the last time they had a a moment alone, as though searching for something to say. Suddenly his eyes landed on a lump of dough that was remotely shaped like a dog. His eyes widened.  
  
"YOU KILLED THEM!!!" Inu-Yasha screeched.  
  
Kagome's gentle smile turned to a look of confusion. "Huh?"  
  
That was about the time Souta's voice rang through the room.  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!!!! KAGOME, YOU KILLED THEM!!! YOU KILLED MY BABIES!!!!"  
  
Kagome got mad. "I DID NOT!!! YOU KILLED THEM!!!! IT'S YOU'RE FAULT!!! YOU STARTED IT!!!!"  
  
"YOU KILLED THEM!!! MURDERER!!!!!"  
  
And, as is obvious, it deteriorated even further from there. Kagome just feared what the boys would say when they realized there weren't going to cookies...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She sighed. 'How does time with him always end up like that. And why does it always depress me when it turns out that way. Why can't I help but feel disappointment when it doesn't end up... wait...how do I want it to end up? Everything's so confusing.'  
  
She sighed and went to watch the large group of boys taking turns getting beat by Inu-Yasha at Tekken. The only person that stood a chance against him was Souta who was beat so easily it was almost humiliating.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Midori Higurashi checked her watch as she walked up the stairs to the shrine.  
  
'11:30.....' she sighed. 'Kagome and Souta should already be in bed.'  
  
At least Matsuko was okay. That was the only high point of her day. She unlocked the door.  
  
'I think I'll pop into the kitchen to get a snack.' she thought. 'That would be helpful.'  
  
It was then that Midori Higurashi, the woman that never loses her cool, stepped into her kitchen and screeched at the top of her lungs.  
  
A/N Uh oh....looks like Kagome is in for a lecture. Well hope ya'll enjoyed the chappie. I don't really have any comments to put here so.......see ya next chappie.  
  
My quote for the day-  
  
Every time I turn around, I lose a little more of my sanity.  
  
Sakura Minomura is finished now.  
  
Ja matte minna-san 


	18. InuYasha's Haven and a Long Lost Nightma...

Hiya! I'm back guys! Only one question to respond to. This one comes from inuyasha-girl-2003. I really don't know why Inu-Yasha can't cook. It can be several reasons but the one I had in mind when I wrote it was that the only meals he'd probablely ever seen prepared would be the ones his mother cooked for him. She died when he was nine, and being like every other boy his age, he wouldn't cared a thing about learning how to cook. He lived with Sesshoumauru afterwards and there's no telling what he had been fed there. It would probablely not be home-cooked though; then he lived by himself and as priorly stated { [from chappie eleven](a stove, Kagome was sure, had only been used for a timer in cases like these and to cook only one food, Ramen.)} he would never dream of making his own food with the exception of Ramen. There are guys that are so pathetic in the kitchen that I just couldn't help but make Inu-Yasha one of them. = P  
  
DISCLAIMER: Okay, do I look like....well do I act like I own Inu-Yasha?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Eighteen  
  
Inu-Yasha's Haven and a Long Lost Nightmare's Return  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
After finally cleaning the kitchen, Kagome was allowed to leave the shrine. She was meeting Inu-Yasha, Miroku, and Sango at the park where people had made some great bike paths; it really didn't matter to them that there was only supposed to be bycycles on it. Of course, Sango didn't have a motorcycle as she prefered her red convertible nor did Kagome as the only mode of transportation she had was her bicycle(which wouldn't keep up with the boys' shiny motorcycles.) This meant that Sango would be riding on the back of her boyfriend's hog while Kagome had the privelege to cling to a very adorable yet somewhat moody hanyou. She blushed slightly and hurriedly began to prepare to meet the others at the park (which she finally could find on her own).  
  
Luckily though, she met Inu-Yasha earlier that expected and hitched a ride. He was unusually quiet, and it unnerved her...  
  
...But she wouldn't tell him that.  
  
After a while in Kagome's presence, he began to talk more, and they had a pleasant conversation for once. They soon made it to the park where they found Miroku and Sango sitting on a bench, kissing. They stared for a few moments at the two before Inu-Yasha decided to make alert the two to their guests.  
  
"You two! Get a room!" he bellowed.  
  
Sango leapt away from Miroku and turned a brilliant shade of red. Miroku, however, grinned brightly.  
  
"Okay!" he chirped. "Let's go, Sango! My dear friend has made the best suggestion I've heard all day!"  
  
Sango whapped him over the head playfully, still a lovely shade of red. She smiled at Kagome and said, "At least someone here isn't perverted."  
  
"HEY!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled. "I AM NOT A PERVERT!!!"  
  
Sango rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Inu-Yasha. Just keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better."  
  
Inu-Yasha's face turned into a pout and his ears drooped slightly.  
  
"AWWWW!!!!! KAWAII!!!!!" Kagome exclaimed. "HE'S POUTING!!! ISN'T THAT ADORABLE?!"  
  
It was then that Kagome realized what she had said and blushed profusely. Inu-Yasha blushed as well, but his blush was accomopanied by a grin.  
  
Kagome shuffled nervously. "Are we going now?"  
  
She asked this as the only idea that came to her mind. She had to end the ackward silence, or she thought she might die from embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so...," Inu-Yasha said slowly, still grinning.  
  
Miroku climbed onto his purple hog, and Sango seated herself behind him, attaching herself to him in the process. Inu-Yasha mounted his bright red cycle. Kagome got on much slower than Sango had done and hugged Inu- Yasha around the middle tighter than Sango hugged onto Miroku. The fact that she wasn't as accustomed to the motorcycle as Sango was. That and she had a perfectly good excuse to do so.  
  
"How 'bout a race?"Miroku called.  
  
Inu-Yasha glanced back at Kagome as if requesting her assurance. She nodded slightly.  
  
'How scary could it be? Right?' Kagome thought.  
  
Wrong.  
  
"YOU'RE ON!!!!!" Inu-Yasha yelled. The two motorcycle's took off through the forest trails. The sped around corners and came close to hitting trees several times. Kagome clutched tighter to Inu-Yasha as she felt like she was going to fly off the motorcycle if she didn't. After what seemed like an eternity, Inu-Yasha dropped behind Miroku and began to slow. After Miroku had been lost from sight, Inu-Yasha swerved around and took the path to the side which Miroku had passed entirely.  
  
Kagome, who was still clinging for dear life, tried to yell to him, ask him where he was taking her, but stopped herself. She didn't know where he was taking her, but it didn't seem to bother her. She trusted him to get her there, where ever there was, safe. She laid her head on his shoulder as they rode. That was enough for her.  
  
And when Inu-Yasha heard her starting to speak, he was ready to be told off and be forced to turn around to catch up with the others. When she fell silent and laid her head upon his shoulder, however, he felt at peace. He felt as though he really was trustworthy even though everyone told him that he was not. That was enough for him as well.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sango looked behind them to find their companions gone. She turned forward and called out to Miroku.  
  
"Inu-Yasha and Kagome are gone! Do you think that we should wait for them? Or go back to them or something?"  
  
Miroku's voice then replied, "No! If I know Inu-Yasha, he's trying to get some time alone with her! He's probablely taking her to his little haven! We'll check in on him in a little while!"  
  
"OH! Okay!" Sango called back. "Hey.....wait! How do you know where Inu-Yasha's haven is at?"  
  
She could almost hear his smirk in his voice. "I never reveal my secrets!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha had finally came to a stop. It was a small clearing, littered in flowers. There was a small streak near by that was moving quickly creating a soft melody. Kagome could hear animals scurrying around, and she vaguely wondered what they were.She stared out in awe of the place. It was quite simplistic yet it radiated a warmth, a happiness of sorts.  
  
She turned to look at Inu-Yasha. "It's wonderful!"  
  
Inu-Yasha smiled a soft smile that made her heart beat faster. "I come here when I need to think or need some alone time."  
  
"You have several places like that don't you? You went to the Goshimboku that day."  
  
Inu-Yasha led her to the stream she had heard and sat on the bank. "Yeah, you gotta have alot of places like that when people are constantly finding where you are. You gotta have a place to run to."  
  
For a second, Kagome smiled serenely for a few moments before her features became confused. "That day, why did you go to the Goshimboku to be alone when you knew I could see you quite plainly?"  
  
He stopped and considered this for a moment. Then he did a very un- Inu-Yasha- like thing.  
  
He said something nice without tacking an insult on the end.  
  
"For once in my life, I actually wanted to be found."  
  
Kagome's breath caught in her throat. They both sat in silence, tossing rocks and twigs into the water. After a few minutes reached out and took her hand. She was suprised by his actions; he never had the courage to do or say things like this when they were at his home. 'Maybe, she thought, it's this place. This place which he seeks his haven in. This place where he's free of his fears. Well, I'm certainly glad he brought me here."  
  
After about five minutes, he looked over at her. "You know what? You're the first person I've ever brought here."  
  
"Really?" she looked over at him. "Why not...anyone else?"  
  
Anyone else meaning Kikyou.  
  
"I..I...I...don't know. I've...never really trusted....anyone like I trust you," his words were slow and thought out with a definite air of nervousness.  
  
She smiled broadly at him. "I'm certainly glad you trust me. I feel much better now."  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked slightly confused. "Why would me trusting you make you feel better ?"  
  
"Well...," she tilted her head sideways and looked him in the eyes. "I've always been the sort of person that everyone just kind of trusts, but when the trust of the other person really mattered, I had to work for it. Honestly, I've really wanted you to trust me all along. I don't know why though. Why your trust matters so much to me, I don't know," she blushed deeply. "But it does. I'm glad to hear that you finally trust me. It makes me feel loads better on the inside."  
  
She smiled an embarrassed smile. His heart did a backflip. After a few moments, their faces began to become closer.  
  
When their lips were only centimeters from touching, however, a loud thud was heard in a nearby bush startling them both into leaping apart.  
  
"Maybe we should go find the others," Inu-Yasha suggested, wide-eyed and panicky.  
  
Kagome, too flustered to sat anything, nodded. They rushed to the motorcycle and took off through the woods.  
  
~* In a nearby bush*~  
  
"Miroku!" Sango hissed. "Look what you did! Right at the best part too!"  
  
"I'n sorry!!! I leaned over too far!! I was trying to get a better look!!!"  
  
Sango sighed. "Come on! Let's get outta here before they realize we were spying on them."  
  
The two made their way back to the hog and sped down the pavement previously abadonned for the dirt trail that led to Inu-Yasha's Haven.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Everyone decided to go to Inu-Yasha's house afterwards to hang out. They were all quiet due to the afternoon's events...  
  
...Or the afternoon's spying, depending on who you were.  
  
They sat in silence as a movie nobody knew the name of was playing. After the first thirty minutes passed, Sango and Miroku rose and left the house due to a 'previous arrangement' they had made for the night. Of course, they were lying, but they wanted the two to be alone. After all the time it took for Inu-Yasha to even look at a girl since Kikyou left him, they didn't want to interfer with the relationship that was blossoming.  
  
The only problem the Inu-Yasha had now was that he was alone with Kagome in the house where alot of the heartbreak of his life had occured. The place where he had been imprisoned by Sesshoumauru after Sesshoumauru decided he could survive in a place alone. The place where he could find no love in when he was younger. The place where kids had stood on his lawn screaming about how much of a freak he was. The place where he had been attacked by his only living family member. The place where Kikyou had tore his heart to shreds.  
  
How could he be comfortable about talking about his feelings for her when so much had happened to him when under this roof?  
  
He was content to have her resting against his side with his arm around her shoulder. To him, she was an angel. An angel that would fly away if he didn't let her know how he felt, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her. He hoped that everything that he had told her so far kept her believing in him.  
  
Everuthing was so perfect for the two that it was almost like a dream. When Inu-Yasha went to the front door with Kagome so he could walk her home, the dream ended. They were both very aware that a storm as brewing as soon as they opened to front door.  
  
"Hello, again, Inu-Yasha," a stoic voice said.  
  
"Ki...Ki...Kikyou...?"  
  
A/N- I hate the way this chapter ends. It took me forever to write it because I knew how I was going to end it. I hate the ending. The rest is okay though. Just so ya'll don't make a big fuss about how much the ending stinks, I say now, I agree with you. But don't let this chappie dissuade you from reading it. It'll always be an Inu/Kag so don't get worried. I'll make sure Kikyou gets what she deserves.  
  
Sakura Minomura is depressed.  
  
Ja matte, Minna-san 


	19. Misuderstandings and Making Up

Hiya peoplez. Okay I'm taking Lady Jasmine's advice. If you don't like the end of the chapter, write another chapter. This one might not be much better than the last one but if I can get all the content I want in it, it will be.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I...don't feel like wracking my brain for something witty to put here. I don't own it but I will. Short, simple, and sweet. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Nineteen  
  
Misunderstandings and Making Up  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Who is this girl, Inu-Yasha?" Kikyou's malicious voice cut through the foreboding silence. "Replacing me, I see. That hurts me, Inu-Yasha."  
  
Inu-Yasha's pale face turned red. "ME?! HURT YOU?! AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ME, HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT HURTING PEOPLE?!"  
  
"I did nothing, Inu-Yasha, if you remember correctly," she replied without any apparent reactions to his yelling.  
  
"Yeah, well, that was the problem. You didn't do anything."  
  
"Now, don't say that. You know that our break-up was just a misunderstanding."  
  
"How could it have been a misunderstanding when we didn't have any semblance of understanding during our relationship?! All we had were secrets and lies!!!" Inu-Yasha's voice was filled with pain and confusion and it unnerved Kagome whom was standing behind him being silent.  
  
"That's not true. There were no lies. I never once lied to you," her voice was as though it were carved from ice; it was cold, emotionless, and unyielding.  
  
"There were secrets then!" Inu-Yasha spat. "And they were a helluva lot worse than any lie!"  
  
"Tut, tut," Kikyou clicked her tongue. "Will you let such an insignificant, trivial matter come between us?"  
  
"Insignificant?" he choked and sputtered. "Trivial?"  
  
Kikyou nodded and walked past him into his living room. "This place hasn't changed much since I left. It's more run-down than I left it but it's still the same." She turned and strode over to Inu-Yasha. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.  
  
He flinched slightly and narrowed his eyes. Somehow, though, he couldn't pull away. He didn't really see her anymore. He saw a past world when this girl was still part of his life. He was content then just to be with her, to spent time with her. That was before he had realized the truth about her, but still the good memories came none the less. Those times when it was just him and her when they were talking and laughing. Well, he was laughing; Kikyou didn't ever laugh. She chuckled, and it was a sound he found quite sinister now that he thought about it. How he longed for things to turn out different, but he knew that they wouldn't. He had Kagome now though, and he now knew what it was like to really feel cared for. He had never felt the same way around Kagome that he had around Kikyou.  
  
He vaguely reigistered the fact that Kikyou was quite close and speaking in a low voice that seemed to radiate through the room. He heard Kagome gasp slightly and turned to her. "What's wrong, Kagome?"  
  
Kagome's eyes darted to Kikyou who stood smirking then fell to the floor. She couldn't seem to speak at all, and her face was quite red. Inu- Yasha's nose registered the smell of salt. He couldn't think of what Kikyou could have said to make her demeanor change so quickly, but it scared him. Kagome, the one strong enough to penetrate even his defenses, was brought down by one little remark.  
  
"See, little girl, he's mine," he heard Kikyou say.  
  
He whirled around ready to yell at the girl who had ruined his life and broken his heart...  
  
...But as soon as he turned completely around, cold lips met his own. He pulled back quiclky, and shoved the girl in front of him back with such force that she left a reasonable sized crater in the wall. It was too late, however. The damage was done. Kagome had fled from the house and was running too hers.  
  
"IF...YOU....EVER, AND I DO MEAN EVER, SHOW YOUR FACE HER AGAIN, I'LL... I'LL...," he couldn't seem to put to words the rage he felt. It didn't matter either way. Kikyou was unconscious.  
  
He took off out the door. He leapt the stone wall and perched on the tree outside Kagome's window. He peered inside the window and found his sweet Kagome weeping into her pillow. His heart broke to see her in such a state as that. He opened the window and creeped across the room. She didn't notice him until he sat on the end of her bed. Her head jerked up. The sight of her tears and the salty smell that invaded in nose infuriated him, he had to stop it as soon as he could.  
  
"What do you want?!" she demanded. "To mess with my head again?! To make me trust you just so you can go off and kiss you're ex in front of me again?!" Her voice trembled slightly but was still firm.  
  
"I didn't kiss her," he said quietly. "She kissed me. I didn't want that kiss."  
  
"Oh, yeah right!" she thundered. "After what she had said only moments before?! Something you couldn't bring yourself to disagree with! You disgust me!" She buried her head into the pillows agian.  
  
"What did she say?" he asked so sincerely that Kagome had to jerk up and looked at him. "I didn't hear her. I was lost in memories." His eyes clouded over again, and he seemed to be lost in his thoughts.  
  
'Maybe he really didn't hear her,' she told herself. He jerked his head back to attention again, and he had a look of forlorn on his face. She couldn't really bring herself to let it go so easily.  
  
"Just leave. Please. I don't wanna go through this right now, okay?" Kagome said it in such a quiet voice that Inu-Yasha decided it best to obey. He turned and began to leave.  
  
Right before he leapt from the window sill, he said, "Please believe me."  
  
Kagome stared at the window for a long time trying to figure the situation out. The words Kikyou had said reverberated in her head.  
  
'Come on, Inu-Yasha. Get rid of this little girl. She's just a little hussy you picked up because of her resemblance to me.'  
  
It wasn't the words that stung her. It was Inu-Yasha's silence that had upset her more than anything. He had not even the will to deny her words. Had that always been why he had befriended her? Had it been because he was using her to replace Kikyou? Had that been it all along?  
  
'Wait!' she thought suddenly. 'Why do I care?'  
  
She tried to shake it off but couldn't. After a lot of thinking, she had reached a solution. Well, partially. She now had a bigger question to ask herself.  
  
'Have I...fallen...in love with...Inu-Yasha?'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
When Inu-Yasha first arrived home, he did the first thing on his to do list. He carried Kikyou out to a remote area, laid her on the ground, and left her there. When he returned home, he went to the nearest pay phone ands called Miroku. Miroku was the only guy he could take his problems to...  
  
...Even though Inu-Yasha was fairly sure that Miroku wasn't the best person to take his girl-problems to.  
  
After about three rings, a voice on the other end picked up.  
  
"Moshi moshi?" asked a female's voice.  
  
"Ummm....who is this?" Inu-Yasha asked uncertainly.  
  
"It's Sango. Who is this?"  
  
"Inu-Yasha."  
  
"Oh, hi Inu-Ya....wait! Since when is your phone bill payed up?! You never even make phone calls. This is the first time I've ever talked to you over the phone!" Sango said somewhat rapidly.  
  
"Questions later. Need to talk to Miroku now!" Inu-Yasha said quickly.  
  
"Oooo! What crawled up your butt and died?" she asked hotly.  
  
"Just let me talk to Miroku." He heard her mumble something under her breath before setting down the phone and yelling for Miroku.  
  
A few minutes later, Miroku picked up the phone and said, "What a pleasant surprise, my friend. What can I do for you?"  
  
"I need some help. Could you come over to my house? I mean right now. As soon as you can."  
  
"Well, I am hangin' out here with lovely Sango. We are having a quite wonderful time together, too," was the reply.  
  
"I don't wanna know what ya'll do when you're alone. Would you please come over now?! There's not many times that I'll resort to getting advice from you."  
  
"True," he said. "I'll be there. Can Sango come, too?"  
  
"NO! I feel odd enough telling one person. Telling two would kill me."  
  
Miroku sighed. "Okay, but you owe me one."  
  
Inu-Yasha smiled. "Thanks."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ten minutes later, the two were sitting in Inu-Yasha's living room. Inu-Yasha had just explained what had happened with Kikyou. Miroku sat in a stunned silence, his mouth agape.  
  
After a few attempts, he finally recovered. "Kikyou was here! What in the seven hells?! What are you going to do?! I mean, after you found out her motive, why would she dare show her face here again?!"  
  
"That's what I asked her. She said that I shouldn't let something so trivial get in the way."  
  
Miroku snorted. "Well, what are you going to do? Kagome's upset, Kikyou's God-knows-where, and youo're stuck between them."  
  
"Kikyou can stay where she is. It's Kagome that I'm worried about. She thinks that I agreed with what Kikyou said."  
  
"What did Kikyou say?"  
  
"I haven't the slightest clue."  
  
Miroku rolled his eyes. "That's helpful," he sighed. "It sounds to me like Kagome's upset because she thinks you still love Kikyou."  
  
Inu-Yasha's face took on an expression halfway between hope and curiosity. "Why would that upset her?"  
  
Miroku sighed yet again. "Take a guess. I think the first question I have to ask before trying to help is: why do you want to cheer her up?"  
  
Inu-Yasha's face scrunched up and darkened slightly. "She's a girl, and she's upset. Isn't that a good enough reason?"  
  
"That's never been a good enough reason for you before."  
  
Inu-Yasha didn't reply, but his face took on several shades of red. That was answer enough for Miroku.  
  
Miroku smiled at his friend. "I understand that you have feelings for her. You don't have to try and lie to me."  
  
Inu-Yasha opened his mouth to argue, but his friend's well placed glare stopped him. A long silence stretched out. It was Inu-Yasha's almost unheard questions that broke the silence.  
  
"What do you think I should do? She knows how I feel, right? If you know, she has to know, right? How can I win her trust back if she already knows how I feel?"  
  
Miroku smiled and reached into his pocket for a small slip of paper that his father had left to him before he died. It was one of many that Miroku had recieved and kept on him at all times, but he figured this particular one would do Inu-Yasha more good than it would ever do him. He smiled at his friend yet again and handed him the old, slightly torn paper. Inu-Yasha smiled as he read the writing. He lifted his head a few moments later to thank Miroku, but his friend was already gone.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome rose from her bed after a while and decided to get something to eat. Then she would, of course, eat in in her room. She had a small salad in her hands when she returned to her room. She sat on the edge of her bed, and she heard the sound of paper crunching slightly. She leapt up quickly and picked up the small envelope. On the front, it said, in somewhat messy scrawl: Kagome  
  
She opened it quickly and began to read; it said:  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dear Kagome,  
  
I'm sorry about what happened today. It wasn't intended to turn out that way. l just wanted some time to hang out with you. I would never guess that Kikyou would turn up. I wish I could shange what happened, but I can't. Would you forgive me? Or listen to me at least? I honestly have no clue what she said. Maybe that can be a story you tell me one day. So, yeah, I hope to talk to you later.  
  
Love, Inu- Yasha  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome smiled slightly. It was then that she saw a rather old, small peice of paper in the envelope as well. She read it as well. On the front, it read:  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Love*  
  
Hug Someone  
  
*You will need:  
  
*Affection  
  
*Tenderness  
  
There's something in a simple hug that always warms the heart; it welcomes us back home and makes it easier to part.  
  
-Jill Wolf  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
On the back, it read:  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
We have hundreds of ways to express feelings- through words and gestures large and small. All too often, however, we keep our feelings to ourselves and assume the people we care about know hwo much they mean to us. Very often, they don't. For those people, think how much a simple note or hug might bring.  
  
Simple steps:  
  
*Give a hug- or a note of appreciation or any little something to let the people in your life know how much you care. It can be as simple as a note on a bed pillow or refridgerator door saying, "I love you."  
  
*Get a hug. The people special to you like to feel needed too. Before the day is out, ask for a great big hug. It will give you both a lift.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tears pooled at Kagome's eyes. She was genuinely touched by something like this coming from Inu-Yasha. Of course, he had more than likely gotten the idea from Miroku, it didn't bother Kagome if he had. It was still quite sweet. Kagome just let tears of relief and happiness stream down her face.  
  
After a while, she decided that the next time she saw Inu-Yasha would get a nice, big hug.  
  
A/N Hope ya like it. The hold small slip of paper is an actual product.You can actually buy those little things and give them to people you know. There are a bunch of them, each with a different moral. In the chappie, it was Miroku's father that had given them to Miroku. This is supposed to say that Miroku did know his father and that his father really wanted him to turn out to be strong and kind. A sort of fatherly advice thing. It was Miroku's father's way of telling Miroku the right thing to do. Miroku passed it on to Inu-Yasha, who passed it on to Kagome. I guess that sorta ties each of them to Miroku's father in a way. Either way, I wanted to depict Miroku's more serious, wiser side so that he appeared to be more than just the goof off. I also wanted to give a little light into Miroku's father. I also wanted to bring Inu-chan and Kag-chan closer together. This is an important chappie I suppose. I think I pulled off what I wanted. What do ya'll think? Review and tell me, please!  
  
Sakura Minomura is out.  
  
Ja Matte Minna-san. 


	20. The Beginning of the End

I have returned! Here's the new chappie!  
  
I'm soooooooo sorry not to have this out quicker, but it's been quite hard to write this chappie. Well, to me it has. There are many parts I was trying so hard to get perfect. This chapter is really important to me and, as I write this chappie, I realize how close the end is getting. At least there will be a few more chappies but this one starts to brin in the major conflict that Inu-Yasha's been trying to avoid. I'm not saying, however, that the end is coming next chappie or the chappie after next, I'm just saying that this might not last much longer. I say thank you to all you faithful readers and reviewers out there. *hands everyone cookies* I love you all!  
  
DISCLAIMER: As much as I wish that I own him, I don't own him. I hope that doesn't shock anyone too bad.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllable or Less  
  
Chapter Twenty  
  
The Beginning of the End  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha had decided it was going to be a bad day as soon as he fell out of bed that morning. The alarm clock once again had to be replaced as was the daily custom for him. His hot water heater wouldn't cooperate with him and forced him to suffer through a cold shower. He couldn't find the shirt he wanted to wear. To top it all off, Sango hadn't shown up so he was forced to brush his own hair. Speaking of which, he was sure he'd pulled a few bald spots. He labored through it, cursing Sango every few minutes in various languages.  
  
Inu-Yasha was finally ready to go to school. It was the beginning of the last week of high school, and it felt odd. He was riding down his driveway and went to turn when someone walked around the corner. He swerved slightly and stopped.  
  
"WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU....!" his insult died on his lips to see the startled face of Kagome.  
  
Her eyes darted around nervously for a second before actually settling themselves on Inu-Yasha's countenance. This behavior made Inu- Yasha believe that she was still mad at him. He hastily got of his motorcycle and walked over to her. He shuffled his feet slighlty.  
  
"You're...not...upset...I mean....you're not still mad, are y...," he was cut of once again by Kagome.  
  
This time though, Inu-Yasha found himself enveloped in Kagome's arms. Before his brain could respond, she broke the hug and backed away.  
  
"Thanks," she said blushing deeply. "For the letter you left in my room. I'll see you at school." She turned and began to walk away before Inu- Yasha's voice stopped her.  
  
"Why don't you ride with me? There's plenty of room for you." He patted the seat. "Come on. I haven't bitten you...yet." He shot her a fanged grin.  
  
"Yet being the keyword," she grinned back as she mounted the motorcycle. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as he drove towards the school. She wasn't really scared anymore, but she really enjoyed the feel of her arms around him. She sighed contently. Yes, she decided, this is going to be a good day.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was when Kagome was sitting with her friends at lunch that all thoughts of a good day flew out of her head. That was about the time that a very peeved-looking Kikyou walked into the cafeteria. She glanced around then, spotting Inu-Yasha, strolled over to the table.  
  
She glared at Kagome momentarily before addressing Inu-Yasha. "Inu- Yasha, you are aware that there is a dance in a few nights at the school. A final send-off to the seniors if you will. A perfect night to have it, too, being as it's you're birthday that night. Since I will spend the last of my high school days here, I figured I would share them with you.Would you like to go with me?"  
  
Sango, Kagome, and Miroku tensed visibly and turned to watch Inu- Yasha's reaction.  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes darted around in anger and slight panic. No matter how much pain was still there, he had still loved her once, and he couldn't seem to make his voice work. Too many memories of he and Kikyou dancing at the all-too-familiar school dances.  
  
"Well...you see...I can't...because...," he said lamely, clawing around for a reason he couldn't go with her. He was, however, spared from this when another voice broke in.  
  
"He can't go with you if he's already agreed to go with me."  
  
Sango and Miroku exchanged secret smiles. They saw all too well what was occuring before them.  
  
Inu-Yasha's shock was poorly disguised as he stared openly at Kagome. She blushed deeply under his gaze and squirmed in her seat. After a few minutes, he grinned and looked Kikyou.  
  
"You heard her, Kikyou. I've got a date," he smiled brightly at her. "Tell ya what though. Kouga will need a date. Maybe you should talk to him."  
  
Kikyou, ever stoic, remained that way. Only the tenseness of her shoulders gave away the fact that she was angry. She stomped away, leaving them to their ponderings. They all sat in silence, each person lost in their own thoughts. They each held almost identical expressions of hope, light, confusion, and a slight twinge of underlying pain that was slowly disappearing. Each one healing the another; another healing them. They were content with that. Well, they would be until the next day.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha and Kagome walked to his motorcycle, hand-in-hand. A slight blush covered their faces, but they didn't seem to care. She smiled warmly at him as he lifted her and set her onto the seat. He sat in front of her, and she took a firm hold on his shoulders. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed blissfully. After a while, Inu-Yasha pulled into the park When he's parked his motorcycle, Kagome opened her mouth to ask what he was doing, but he stifled it with a finger to her lips. She smiled and followed him.  
  
Inu-Yasha reveled in the trust she'd shown in him. She followed him blindly, not at all terrified by his youkai heritage. He turned to her and offered her his hand. He smiled a small, sweet smile. A smile he had saved just for Kagome. It was as though he spoke a thousand kind words in one simple gesture. She gladly took his hand as he led her back to his haven, back to his sanctuary where he'd never brought anyone else.  
  
They made it to the small stream and sat together in a serene silence. After Inu-Yasha decided that he had enough courage gathered, he asked, "Why did you say that today? To Kikyou I mean. Why did you...you...?"  
  
He sighed. He thought he was ready for this. He thought he could handle this. But, when he gazed at the girl beside him, all coherent thoughts flew from his head.  
  
"I wanted to," she thought for a second about it trying to find better words for it. "I...I just wanted to." She huffed in frustration, and her lips formed a little pout.  
  
Inu-Yasha couldn't help but think about how kawaii she looked with that face, a face one typically thought of seeing on the face of an angry child. Acting on instinct, he placed his hand beneath his chin and forced her to look up at him. Her eyes were glittering with happiness as she gazed up at him. Slowly, he brought his face down to hers. Their lips barely brushed together, betraying their true feelings; the ones they had tried so hard to hide. The kiss was though a whisper in the wind, as tender as the hand of an angel. It was a soft, sweet; everything they had wanted but had never thought to wish for. They stared at each other for a long time, trying to process what they felt and what they were thinking.  
  
Inu-Yasha was stunned by the emotions pounding through him. He'd never felt such things. He'd experienced what he'd thought was love when he had been with Kikyou, but he had not felt it with this intensity, this clarity. His head was spinning, and, God, he never wanted it to stop.  
  
The touch had been feather-light, but it had been enough. Kagome knew then the answer to her question. Yes, she was in love with the boy before her. Yes, she yearned just to see his face smiling back at her.  
  
But how did he feel about her.  
  
'That's a stupid question,' her inner voice called. 'He kissed you didn't he? That should be proof enough.'  
  
But what about Kikyou? she asked the voice.  
  
'You saw the way he reacted to her!' She could of swore that if a voice in you're head could snort, hers just did.  
  
Unbeknownst to Kagome, her face was scrunched up in confusion. It was a look Inu-Yasha found quite cute and irresistible. When she finally looked up, Inu-Yasha was peering down at her, a soft smile complimenting his features. Her heart leapt as he stood, lifted her bridal style, and started back to his motorcycle.  
  
He smiled again and said, "Your carriage awaits, my lady. I will take you home."  
  
She blushed slightly and nodded. He carried her the whole way back. He knew he hadn't stayed there very long, but he just needed to help his heart answer some questions. Well, he had the answers he wanted, but how was he going to deal with them? How had he fallen in love with her? How could he put her in that sort of positon? How could he? How could he?!  
  
Inu-Yasha continued to berate himself for everything that had happened thus far, when he heard the girl in his arms speak.  
  
"Inu-Yasha...?" she questioned softly.  
  
"Yeah...," he asked. "What is it?" His breath caught at her soft voice filled with slight concern.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" he said, leaning down to get a better look at her face. Lines of concern was strewn across her features.  
  
"Because...," she trailed off, her eyes never leaving his, but her finger rising to point at something. "Because you walked right pass the motorcycle as if you didn't see it. I thought there might be something wrong with you."  
  
He sighed slightly as he followed the tip of her finger to see his Harley. He mumbled an apology and said he was fine as he set her on the seat. He revved the engine, and they were off. He would save the other questions he wanted to ask her for another day.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha was aroused sometime during the night by someone moving around in the shrine. He blinked a few times. After a few minutes, he decided that it was nothing to worry about. It was probably Souta getting something to eat, or Kagome getting a glass of water.  
  
'Kagome....,' he smiled softly at the thought of her. He fell back into a peaceful sleep with dreams full of her face.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha was perpetually smiling when he woke the next morning. He was full of cheer as he took his shower and picked out his clothes for the day. All this was happiness was radiating off of him thanks to a certain raven-haired beauty. He was all smiles until he entered his living room and recognized a scent he had not caught wind of in quite a while. It was the scent of a man who rarely ever done things himself, prefering to have others to do his work for him.  
  
It was the scent of Naraku.  
  
His senses were kicked into overdrive now. He searched his home quite thoroughly before deciding nothing of any value had been taken.  
  
'What in the world had he been there for....?' he was thinking when his head jerked around. His ears had caught a very disturbing sound at this point. He was out of the house and in the shrine's kitchen in almost the blink of an eye. It was then he found Midori Higurashi, the most optomistic person he'd ever met, weeping into her hands.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" he took her by the shoulders. "Where is Kagome?"  
  
When the question only made her sob louder, he dashed up the stairs calling out to Kagome. He jerked open doors and shouted louder until he made it to her room. If the scent he'd found had at his own home, the one filling her room only made his stomach churn more.  
  
Sesshoumauru had been here, too. They had been working together on this.  
  
There were a few things scattered around, but nothing to bad. He called out to Kagome again as he entered her room. Fear gripped him as it did the lingering scent that Kagome had left behind maybe hours before. It was when he'd collapsed to his knees beside her bed in attempt to rid himself from the pervading feeling of dizziness. He had suspicions about what had happened, but they were not confirmed until Souta entered the room, face solemn.  
  
"Where...where is...where is she...?" his voice barely working.  
  
"She's been kidnapped," Souta said with fresh tears rising to his eyes. He held up a peice of paper. "And if we call the cops, she's dead."  
  
'How could I put her in this position?' he asked himself again. 'How could I get her involved in this?'  
  
A/N- *cowers in corner and sobs* Please don't hurt me....  
  
I'll have the next chappie out sooner!  
  
Sakura Minomura is really evil.  
  
Gomen nasai, minna-san! 


	21. Desperation

I've got good feedback thus far. I'm really excited about all this! It's gonna speed up a little at this point I think. If it goes right.  
  
And- kawaii means cute, adorable, ect. Someone asked what it meant.  
  
Oh, and rabid-chipmunk- THEY'RE MY SQUIRRELS!!!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Here we go trying to decide if I own him again. I think I'll let you make your own assumptions on this one.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Twenty-One  
  
Desperation  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Inu-Yasha! The pacing isn't helping! Sit down! You're making the rest of us nervous!" Sango ordered Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha glared at her and sat down.  
  
Five seconds later he leapt from his seat again.  
  
"I gotta go to my brother's house! I can take him!" he started to walk out the door when Sango stopped him.  
  
"And what are you going to do when you get there? Run in and demand her be returned! You're brother could have you arrested! Then you'd be at his mercy... which I'm sure he has none."  
  
"But we can't just sit here!!! I gotta help her! It's all my fault!!!! It's my fault she's in this mess!!! Both of you know the story!!! Both of you know what's going on!!!! How can you sit there and tell me to stay put!!! What if she's dead before we get there?!" Inu-Yasha stormed at Sango and Miroku.  
  
"Hey!" Miroku decided to say. "If there using her for blackmail, they won't kill her. She's more valuable alive."  
  
Inu-Yasha glared at him and sarcastically said, "Oh! That makes me feel so much better!!"  
  
"We have to do something! But we can't just charge in. Maybe we could meet Sesshoumauru at his house. That would do better than cause a scene," Sango proposed, hopefully. "Then we can talk to him directly."  
  
"FINE!!! LET'S GO THEN!!!" Inu-Yasha dashed out of the door, Miroku and Sango at his heels. Inu-Yasha had finely got Sango to decide on a plan she'd liked. It had taken a while for her to think up something reasonable, but she was right. Anything that he was to think up would probably get him arrested. Not the he cared though. As long as Kagome was safe, he could handle the consequences that came with murdering a man. He'd dreamt up plenty of good ways murder his dear brother, Sesshoumauru, and Naraku too.  
  
He sighed, and continued towards his motorcycle. He leapt on to it and sped at top speed down the roads that led to Sesshoumauru's elegant mansion. He would kill himself if anything had happened to Kagome. He should've been able to pick up their scents, but he was too wrapped up in dreams to do that. He sighed again.  
  
He flipped off a car that had almost made him roadkill. 'Stupid people!' he thought as he swerved in front of a car making it screech to a halt. 'They don't have any clue how to drive!'  
  
Miroku finally caught up to him and was zooming along beside him. He could see Sango behind him screaming at him to be careful. Miroku merely grinned and went faster. Inu-Yasha would have laughed had it happened any other time, but being as it wasn't, he decided to get them back on track.  
  
"GET YOUR BUTTS IN GEAR!! STOP GOOFING OFF! KAGOME'S IN DANGER!!! "  
  
The couple stopped and gaped at him. His eyes were glued to the road, but there was an unspoken threat glistening in those eyes.The two returned to the solemn mood that they had been in all morning. It was a good idea, they decided, to take his advice for once.  
  
It was not long before they reached the mansion. It was a grand house with large pillars, a large porch, and a small garden. The gate was large and intricate with the name 'Mamouru' twisted into the metal. Inu-Yasha leapt easily over the gate and was already strutting across the grounds when he realized that Miroku and Sango wasn't behind him. He looked back to see them struggling to open an apparently locked gate. 'Oh well,' Inu-Yasha sighed mentally. 'It's probably better for them to wait out here anyways. I already have a good clue about what going on. I've already gotten Kagome involved; I don't want them involved too.'  
  
So he strode off, leaving Miroku and Sango to their fruitless attempts at opening the gate. He knocked harshly at the door when an ugly, green toad- man opened the door.  
  
"Inu-Yasha!" the little man hissed.  
  
"Jaken!" he hissed back. "I need to speak with my brother. Where is he?"  
  
"Oh yes," Jaken smiled at this. "He's been waiting for you. He's in his study. Would you like me to lead you there?"  
  
Inu-Yasha sneered at the tiny man. "Lead me then."  
  
He followed the tiny youkai down the hall. It was lavishly furnished and was fit for royalty. It was the Mamouru name, a noble blood line, that furthered the feel of royalty throught the large house. Many paintings hung the walls, each depicting a different high-ranked Mamouru youkai. Inu-Yasha knew that he'd never find his face on these walls. He was a disgrace to the family. He also knew that he'd never find his face on the walls of any of the other Mamouru mansions. It hurt him to admit it, but he wished he was welcome in these walls. Not because of the luxury of it, but he wanted so badly to be part of a family. His family had never wanted him; his father had loved him. He knew this because of his mother and his youkai relatives. They thought it a crime that his father had not only had a half- human son, but he had loved that son as well.  
  
He shook himself from his thoughts. It wouldn't do to dwell on them especially when Kagome was in trouble. He had to make her his first priority and not have pesky thoughts of family getting in the way.  
  
Inu-Yasha found himself in front of a large, ornate door. He could hear a girl's laugh from within; a voice he didn't recognize. It was this that intriqued him the most. Sesshoumauru had never been the type to have company. If he had a business meeting with a client, he would take them to a small cafe. He most certainly never brought them into his home. You should always keep business and personnal things seperate as to not confuse the two; it was what Sesshoumauru had often been known to say.  
  
Inu-Yasha stood shocked when the door finally opened. There, in Sesshoumauru's lap, was a small child. A small, HUMAN child. He could only gape as the small girl giggled and played with Sesshoumauru's tail. ((A/N- Does anyone know what that thing is? If it's not a tail, it's a boa. I find the theory that it's a tail much more amusing so that's what Sessy-chan is gonna have.))  
  
"Me'lord!" Jaken announced. "Your brother is here."  
  
Sesshoumauru looked up as the small girl giggled and pulled his tail. "Oh, dear brother. You've arrived." He smirked. "You would be here asking for your human wench, would you not. A very odd little wench she is."  
  
"You have no room to speak of odd human wenches, Sesshoumauru," he snarled, motioning to the child.  
  
Sesshoumauru gazed at him with those stoic eyes before looking down at the girl. "Rin is somewhat odd. It is what I find amusing about her."  
  
This didn't offend the girl in the slightest. In fact, she was quite thrilled.  
  
"YAY!" Rin giggled. "I'm amusing!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha found again that he could do nothing but gape at his older sibling. He blinked several times as if trying to will the girl away. She still sat there when he opened his eyes, however.  
  
Rin then decided to turn her attentions to Inu-Yasha. She hopped jovially out of Sesshoumauru's arms and bounced across the parlor. Sesshoumauru watched with slight dismay as she tugged on his younger brother's tight leather pants. It was then that she spread her arms out in the universal sign that meant 'Pick me up.' Inu-Yasha, still in a daze, leaned down and lifted the girl carefully as though she were planning an attack. Then again, he wouldn't put that past his older brother.  
  
He felt her squirm slightly in his arms. She squealed happily and tugged his ears.  
  
"KAWAII!!!!" she giggled as she watched his ears swivel away from her touch and her voice. Inu-Yasha yelped and jerked in surprise.  
  
He then proceeded to set the girl down careful not to jostle her too much. He admitted to himself that he would have wanted to throw her down for tugging his ears and for being around Sesshoumauru, but she was just a child and didn't know better. That and if he hurt Sesshoumauru's human girl, he might hurt his. The last thing he needed is for Sesshoumauru to get mad and hurt Kagome.  
  
The girl pouted slightly at being put down but quickly recovered. She was almost instanly back on Sesshoumauru's lap.  
  
"So, that's your brother. I thought you said he was a half- dead disgrace."  
  
Sesshoumauru chuckled. "Half- bred disgrace. Bred not dead. But," he looked down at the girl. "If you wish that he be half- dead, I wouldn't be opposed. It might actually help me get what I want."  
  
Rin crinkled her nose. "I think he's cute! I like his ears. They're prettiful!"  
  
Sesshoumauru paled past his normal shade of white but quickly regained his composure. "Could you please leave, Rin. My brother and I must speak about adult matters."  
  
Rin pouted again. "Okay...as long as I don't have to play with Jaken. Can you make him stay away? He scares me."  
  
"Yes, I'll make him stay away. Now, go up to your room and play." Sesshoumauru watched her leave and then addressed Jaken. "Jaken! Go down take care of something. Take out the trash or scrub a toilet. Stay away from Rin though. You know the penalties for disobedience.  
  
"Yes, Me'lord! I do know!" the small man squeaked from the doorway he'd never fully entered and practically ran away from them.  
  
Sesshoumauru motioned to a chair and smirked lightly.  
  
Inu-Yasha complied and plopped down in a chair. "Housing humans now, are you?" Inu-Yasha sneered.  
  
"That, my dear brother, is none of your business. I believe it is the other girl that I have recently..." he paused, searching for the correct word. "... acquired."  
  
Inu-Yasha snorted. "Yes, I want you to give her back now. Why you would want her in the first place is beyond me."  
  
Sesshoumauru still smirked at him. "You know exactly why I want the girl. You know exactly what I want. I will not release the girl until you give me what I want."  
  
"Damn it, Sesshoumauru! Where is she?! I want to see that she's alive and well!! I want to see her right now!!!"  
  
"I'm afraid she's not here. She is under Naraku's care at this moment."  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes widened. "You have that bastard taking care of her!!!!! I want you to take me to her now!!"  
  
Sesshoumauru smirked at him. "You're upset."  
  
"Upset? UPSET?! I'm way more than upset!!!"  
  
"Well, I assure you that she's very healthy. Naraku wouldn't hurt her unless he got my permission."  
  
"And that's supposed to assure me how?!" Inu-Yasha thundered.  
  
Sesshoumauru merely dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "If you insist upon seeing her, follow me. I'll take you to her."  
  
Inu-Yasha perked up at that. He followed him eagerly. Finally he was getting somewhere. 'Then again, this is probably a friggin' ploy,' he thought resolutely. Everything else seemed to be.  
  
He followed Sesshoumauru down a long hallway, drifting in his thoughts. He didn't notice that all the doors seemed to be pad-locked shut, and he didn't notice the colored gas seeping into the hallway behind him as he didn't have eyes in the back of his head. When he finally caught a slight scent of the gas, he whirled around to see it shifting through the room. He turned again and braced himself to shout at his older brother, but he only saw the slightest of glimpses of Sesshoumauru's back as the door at the end of the hall snapped shut with a defiant 'click!'  
  
By the time Inu-Yasha had comprehended what was going on, he was already falling into unconsciousness due to the gases around him. He struggled futilely against the doors in a drunken-like state. His last coherent thought before he fell completely to the floor was 'Kagome! I've... failed ...her... again...'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome slowly awakened from her hazy sleep and began to try to sit up. This attempt was stopped short. Her mind didn't seem to want to agree with what her body was telling her, and she tried to rise several more times before she was awake enough to realize something was wrong. It was then that her eyes popped open, and she jolted forward with as much power as she possessed. This too, however, appeared to be fruitless. She started to hyperventalate at about this time. Her breathing sped up quite considerably, and she began to cry out for help. It was not a friendly voice she was prepared to hear though. It was a cold, bone-chilling voice.  
  
"That won't help you, little girl."  
  
She immediately recognized the voice. Naraku.  
  
Kagome let out a noise of surprise, but his voice at least brought her out of her stupor. She examined the room and her bondage. The room was prestine and white. It looked very much like a hospital room except of course the bed she was strapped to. Her wrists were shackled as were her legs and her waist.  
  
"What...what...do you...want..?" she asked, still very deep in shock.  
  
"You know what I want, little Kagome. I want the Shikon no tama. You have it. I know you do. I can feel it. Where is it? It wasn't in your room, and it isn't on your personage," the cold voice echoed dangerously around the room.  
  
"Huh?" Kagome asked, her brow knitting together. "I've never owned anything by such a name."  
  
"Oh, but you do. I think you don't know about it because it's in you," Naraku said as he walked from somewhere in the room though she really couldn't see from where. It was then she nearly jumped out of her skin.  
  
A chilling hand grasped her side just above the top of her pajama bottoms. The ice cold fingers caressed the spot.  
  
"Yes," he chuckled softly. "There it is. I'm found it, you old fool. The Shikon no tama."  
  
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" Kagome screeched. Naraku smirked and withdrew his hand.  
  
"I won't touch you, little girl," he said, chuckling again. He motioned to someone in the room or just outside of the room for all Kagome could see. "But I can't promise that they won't."  
  
It was then that she caught sight of several doctors, youkai and human alike, towering over her. They each supported their own scary-looking weapon. She began to squirm again as they tried to place a mask over her face. Gentle yet sinister vapors danced in her lungs as her eyes closed.  
  
"Inu-Yasha! Inu-Yasha!" Kagome whimpered before her entire world fell into black.  
  
A/N- Well, here's the next chappie. All-in-all I'd say it's more upsetting than the last. I sowwy about that. But have faith! This is Inu-Yasha and Kagome we're talking about. Don't get too upset with me.  
  
Sakura Minomura is out.  
  
Ja matte Minna-san 


	22. Struggling to Survive

I am so sorry!!! I've had the worse case of writer's block!!! It's been so hard on me to try and type it up. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't get it to come out. I'm so sorry!!  
  
*bows* I'm so happy everyone is liking the story so far. It really helps my self-esteem. On to the chappie as I've kept you all waiting so long.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I think I own him. I dream that I own him. I wish that own. But I don't own him. Stupid Irony.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Twenty-Two  
  
Struggling to Survive  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was a heated argument that Inu-Yasha woke up too.  
  
"I told you not to harm the girl. You did not listen to your instructions." was the first statement Inu-Yasha's foggy mind recognized. The first coherent thought was 'What girl?' but as he began to fully awaken, he'd gotten a pretty good idea of what girl they were talking about.  
  
"The girl is fine. All she has is a small scar that will fade with time." came Naraku's cold reply.  
  
"That is irrevelant. You disobeyed me. I do not tolerate disobedience. You should well know this by now."  
  
"I do realize this, but, as I told you before we kidnapped the girl, that I needed something from her. That was the only reason I agreed to assist you in this venture."  
  
"When I was told that you needed something from her, I did not realize you were taking something from inside her. If something had went wrong, it would have ruined everything. I don't care what you're plans are, but they should not interfere with my orders." Sesshoumauru said venomously. "You have disappointed me with your actions. I will not tolerate a second disappointment. I only tolerate this one because I realize your usefulness. You should be grateful." With this, Sesshoumauru turned and started down the hall.  
  
"My apologies, but I was doing this for the benefit of all of us. I did not hurt the girl-" Naraku started but was cut of by the pounding and screaming that had erupted from a nearby room.  
  
"YOU BASTARDS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO KAGOME?! BRING ME TO HER NOW!! I WANT TO SEE HER NOW!!" Inu-Yasha screamed accompanied by louds poundings on the metal door behind which he was kept. It was also followed by several, more colorful phrases.  
  
"Tsk, tsk. That's no way to speak to your superiors, Inu-Yasha. You should learn your manners," Sesshoumauru said mockingly.  
  
Inu-Yasha snorted. "I don't want your etiquette lessons!!! I WANT KAGOME BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!" This was followed by several large 'BOOM!'s.  
  
Sesshoumauru smirked. "Inu-Yasha! That's not getting you any closer to your goal!"  
  
"IT HAD BETTER BE GETTING ME CLOSER TO MY GOAL, DAMN IT!!!!!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha made many more attempts at knocking the door down before he gave up, panting heavily. "Sesshoumauru, you coward! Let me out of here!" he said, quietly as he was still short of breath.  
  
There was a chuckle from the other side of the door. "My dear brother, have you run out of energy already? I'm disappointed in you."  
  
"Shut it, asshole. I want to see Kagome now." Inu-Yasha said in a dangerous growl.  
  
"Very well, little brother. Take that door in the other side of the room. There will be a hall. Go through the door at the end of the hall. I shall meet you there."  
  
"You're lying there's no door...," Inu-Yasha turned and surveyed the room he was in. It was a small sitting room, and, sure enough, there was a door at the other side of the room. "Oh." he muttered and headed to the door. He had to get to Kagome. He had to get there now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome yawned loudly and looked around. She rubbed her eyes slowly, trying to grasp where she was at. Then, everything rushed back to her with such clarity she jolted out of her temporary bed. Upon looking around, she discovered that she was in a small bedroom. She hand instantly shot to that small area on her side. She pulled up her pajama top and peered at the small scar.  
  
"What the hell?!" Kagome screeched. "What have they done to me?!"  
  
It was then that a small voice interupted her.  
  
"Miss, you shouldn't use words like that in front of little kids."  
  
Kagome whipped her head around to find a small girl perched on a chair. She smiled sweetly at Kagome and waved.  
  
"Who.. are you..?" Kagome asked her slowly.  
  
The girl tilted her head sideways and grinned at her. "I is Rin!" She giggled. "Who is you?"  
  
Kagome found herself smiling despite her situation. "I'm Kagome. If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"  
  
Rin hopped over to Kagome and looked around conspiratorily. "I was bored and had no one to play with. I saw them bring you here. I'm not supposed to be here. Don't tell Sesshoumauru! He doesn't like me to frager.. franter..."  
  
"Fraternize?" the older girl said helpfully.  
  
Rin laughed. "Yes, frat-er-nize. He does not want me to frat-er-nize with the enemy."  
  
Kagome smiled at her before frowning. "Wait.... why are you here with Sesshoumauru? He doesn't have any children... nor has he ever wanted one..."  
  
Rin shrugged. "My Mommy and Daddy died. Sesshoumauru saved me and took me home with him. He's gonna be my Daddy now." Again her voice lowered. "But don't tell him I said that. He doesn't like to be called Daddy. It makes people around him laugh and say mean things."  
  
The teen sat and listened to Rin, surprise written on her face. To appease the pleading look the girl was giving her, she said, "Oh, I won't tell. I promise."  
  
Rin giggled. "Thank you very much."  
  
"Say Rin. How do I get out of here? I need to leave now." Kagome said, smiling at the young girl.  
  
Rin looked uneasy. "I don't think Sesshoumauru would like it if I let you leave. You're supposed to stay here." And at Kagome's down-trodden look, Rin added. "Yes, and if you stay here, you can play with me! You could be my Mommy since I don't have one."  
  
Kagome paled considerably. Not really at the implication of being Rin's mother, more of the prospect of parenting her with Sesshoumauru. The teen blanched but managed to smile at the young girl.  
  
(*Note: I don't wish to insult anyone out there that may like the Kagome/Sesshoumauru pairing. I would like to ask that I not recieve any reviews stating that they're a cute couple and I shouldn't make it sound like a bad thing. I do understand that there are people who like this pairing, but, as you can see, I'm a Kag/Inu fan so I myself don't like the pairing. So, all Kag/Sess fans, please don't take that as an insult for it is not intended as one. I just don't really like the pairing therefore there will be no Kag/Sess action and what Rin said is going to be the only remote mention of such a thing. Sorry Kag/Sess fans, but please don't review and complain about it. -_-; I'm also sorry for the interuption.... *)  
  
"I'd like that Rin, but I'm really hungry. Can we at least go to the kitchen? I'm famished."  
  
Rin scrunched her nose up in thought then she said, "I guess that would be okay. He said he didn't want you to leave the property. He didn't say he wanted to starve you. Actually, he said it was best if you lived." Rin smiled excitedly at her. "Alright. We will go get food!"  
  
Kagome sighed in relief. 'Well,' she thought. 'I'm getting out of this small room, I'm getting food, and they don't plan to kill me. Life is beginning to look up!'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Life is not looking up at all.  
  
This is what Inu-Yasha was thinking as he listened to Sesshoumauru thunder about why Kagome wasn't where he put her. The two guards had decided to follow some cute maids and had abandoned their posts. Sesshoumauru was about to deal out punishment when Inu-Yasha burst out angrily.  
  
"I WANT KAGOME NOW!!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID WORKERS OR YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS!!!! I WANT HER FOUND!!!!"  
  
Sesshoumauru whipped around to face his younger brother. "You!" he snarled. "Shut up!" He took hold of a startled Inu-Yasha's throat, claws glowing slightly green. "I did not want to take that wench into my home. I only want what you have yet to hand over. I was fully prepared to use her too demand ransom, but, since she is gone, dear brother, I must go to my last resort. If you shall not hand it over willing, I shall torture you until you give it to me."  
  
With this, Sesshoumauru took a coughing, struggling, and sputtering Inu-Yasha down to the dank underground levels of the mansion. The one part of the mansion not inhabited by living just many skeletons and many forgotten corpses.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome peered around. She had took off the first time Rin's back had been turned, and she felt sorry for having to fool someone as small and cute as that girl was. Now though, she was hopelessly lost and had no inkling of a clue as to where she was going. 'This place is a maze!!' she thought, exasperated.  
  
It was then that a chilling voice invaded her ears.  
  
'Naraku!' she gasped inwardly and dropped to her knees and hid beneath a small table outside of a door the voices emitted from.  
  
"I have taken the Shikon no tama from the girl's body." his voice was saying. "It shall help us kill Sesshoumauru and take the company from under his nose."  
  
"Of course." a stoic female's voice responded. "I understand."  
  
Kagome found something familiar about this voice but couldn't quite place what it was. She shrugged it off and listened.  
  
"I will leave the Shikon no tama here. We cannot bring it with us for Sesshoumauru would certainly recognize it's aura if we hint at trying to use it."  
  
"This I understand as well as I know that you are all to prepared to use the jewel. I will return soon."  
  
With that she heard a door open and close. 'Must have two exits!' she thought thankfully.  
  
She was inwardly celebrating when the door beside her opened. She froze instantly. Holding her breath, she watched Naraku's legs walk away from her. Only when she heard another door open and close did she dare to take a look around.  
  
She crawled out from under the table. Knowing that she shouldn't, she let her curiousity get the better of her, and she entered the small meeting room. She walked into the room only to find that it was a large library. Books everywhere and a few tables scattered about.  
  
'How will I every find what they were talking about?!' As she cast her eyes about, she saw a glow. 'What is that?' she thought, mezmerized.  
  
She walked over to the small desk she saw the glow being emitted from. She pulled open the drawer of the desk and peered inside. There, laying in a small box, was a small, marble-like jewel. All a glimmer and sparkle, it seemed to reach out to her. After staring at it for what seemed like an eternity, she reached out and touched it. As soon as her hand made contact with the small orb, she began to hear soft cries of pain.  
  
'That voice?!' she thought, eyes widening. 'Inu-Yasha?!? What in the.. ?!?'  
  
All coherent thought seemed to cease as an image filled her head. She saw Sesshoumauru standing over a bleeding Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha, his fangs gritting together in an attempt to stifle his cries, was laying upon a stone floor trying hard to breath. He tried to stand, but Sesshoumauru kicked him hard in the side. Crying out in pain again, Inu-Yasha hit the wall.  
  
'No.. no... no...' Kagome's mind said, struggling to understand the images. 'NO!' her mind began to scream. 'NO! Inu-Yasha! Where are you?!?' Tears sprang to her eyes as she pushed the images from her mind.  
  
Leaping to her feet, she ran. As though blind, she closed her eyes tightly and did nothing but follow her feet. She put complete trust in whatever force was willing her on towards some secret destination.  
  
Kagome ran on, only thoughs was those of Inu-Yasha, as the jewel clasped between her hands glew brighter at every step she took.  
  
A/N- And there is my chappie. The next one should be out sooner. Well, I'm gonna hope it is. The greatest thing I have discovered is that writer's block sucks. I realize the action in this chapter has speeded up quite a bit and there are fewer moments where the characters are just 'hanging out.' I also realize that this is not a time for them to be hanging out, but I'm trying to say that there are less little moments where the characters are just themselves. In my opinion, this chapter has less regard to detail. I tried as hard as I could. I've formulated and re-formulated this chapter and finally typed it up. I think it has came out the way I want it too. Hopefully, ya'll will like it.  
  
I hope this chapter answered some questions. I've tried really hard.  
  
~*Sakura Minomura*~  
  
Ja matte. 


	23. Naraku Enters the Fray

Howdy partners! I've returned with a new chappie! I've had quite a few reviews that pointed out errors. One had something to do with my Japanese; the other had to do with my english... *laughs sheepishly* Well, I realize that I've really poor typing skills. I will revise all my chapters. I went back (Don't have spell check.. .-_-`) and reread all my chapters, and, yes, the grammar does suck. I will fix it though. Thank you, RavenHawk-tph for pointing that out! ^__^  
  
The other review pertained to the use of the word 'okaa-san.' I was told that I did not use this word properly. I got the word from the movie 'Spirited Away' by the great Hayao Miyazaki. When Chihiro is running through the town screaming, there is a trailer about it. Watch the Japanese trailer where it shows Chihiro running through town and she is screaming "OTOU-SAN! OKAA-SAN!!" I doubt she is talking about someone else's mother. I've also talked to the Japanese exchange student. She said that some people called their mother that, but she calls her mother, "Mama." as many others in her area do. Just to be sure, I went to a Japanese online dictionary, three of them actually. One had both listed as a word for mother. One said haha was the word for mother, and the other said okaa-san was the word for mother. I think they're both one of the many ways to say 'mother' in Japan. Either way, I'm leaving the word okaa-san where I've put it.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own him. I'm sorry, but if I did own him, I wouldn't give him to you.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Twenty-Three  
  
Naraku's Enters the Fray  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha gasped and sputtered. "Bastard...!" he said loudly and let loose a few racking coughs.  
  
"I, Sesshoumauru, tried to go easy on you, little brother, but you would not cooperate. This is all a result of what you wouldn't do."  
  
Inu-Yasha was panting heavily as he was, once again, flying towards the wall. He hit it with a loud crack which he suspected was his back. He moaned softly and tried to stand. He failed in this attempt and hit the ground with a groan.  
  
"Inu-Yasha!!!!!" came a very familiar voice. "INU-YASHA!!!"  
  
The two brothers in the small chamber looked around to find Kagome standing in the stone entry. She was panting softly and held something that seemed to emit a strange energy. Sesshoumauru stared at her with what appeared to be a mixture of surprise and disdain while Inu-Yasha shot her an expression of open shock.  
  
"How... did you... Kagome...?" he tried to talk but it came out as mumblings. Finally he got his bearings and said, "Kagome! How did you get here?! Leave! Now!" He made a few small motions towards the door with what remained of his energy.  
  
This was when the raven-haired girl ran forward and knelt beside him. "Oh, Inu-Yasha! Look at how injured you are! How can I leave you?!" She lifted her hand and brushed a strand white hair from his face. She pulled out a small hankerchief and began to wash sweat and blood from his forehead. "Oh, you poor thing.. I can't believe he did this to you!" With this, she shot an angry look at Sesshoumauru who watched the two with a perplexed expression.  
  
"I don't need your help! You have to get out now! He'll hurt you has well!" Inu-Yasha gasped out.  
  
Kagome glanced at Sesshoumauru who still stood with the same look upon his face. He walked slowly over to the pair. Inu-Yasha growled softly when he saw Kagome flinch back slightly. He gazed up at Sesshoumauru with eyes that showed his fear for the girl beside him.  
  
"Why, Inu-Yasha, did you become so attached to a girl after that Kikyou? You set ourself up for another fall, you idiot." his stoic eyes gazed steadily at his speechless brother. When Inu-Yasha didn't answer, he said, "Well, no matter. I do not need a reason for your feelings." Sesshoumauru grabbed Kagome by the arm. "As long as you have them, I can get what I want."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kikyou jerked her head up and looked around. 'The Shikon...?' she thought slowly. 'Someone is drawing on its power. Have I been double- crossed?' With that lingering thought, she slowly made her way back to the mansion she had just exited.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Naraku's eyes burned with anger when he realized that the power of the jewel was being used. Storming through the halls, he smashed random things to vent some of his anger. With plans of torture and death, he followed the energy left from the use of the Shikon Jewel. He was almost sure that SHE was behind this. He knew this was coming. He knew better than to trust her to be involved in his plan in any way. His brows furrowed in confusion as the trail of energy led him to the bowels of the mansion. The part of the castle that many never depart from and still have their life.  
  
'What the hell...?' he thought as he entered the small torture chamber. He stood in the entryway and watched that girl, Kagome was it?, try and fend off Sesshoumauru to protect HIM! He growled slightly under his breath.  
  
'Inu-Yasha,' he silently promised himself as he smirked, 'You shall die here today.'  
  
'Only,' he added darkly, chuckling to himself, 'After you see your pretty, little girlfriend torn to shreds before your very eyes!'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome reached up and wiped sweat from her brow as she tried to keep Inu-Yasha hidden from view. She bit her lip as she watched the youkai in front of her. She had a few scratches here and there, but Inu-Yasha was the target of most of the blows. She was being used, she realized, like some kind of ransom. She couldn't be damaged or Sesshoumauru may not get what he wants...  
  
...whatever it was Sesshoumauru wanted...  
  
She still hadn't figured out what it was that he was demanding, but she figured that it didn't matter. She had more important things to figure out. Inu-Yasha had just landed harshly against the stone floor and didn't seem to be moving much. She was now futilely attempting to block Sesshoumauru's view so that she wouldn't see him.  
  
Sesshoumauru's hand shot out and grabbed Kagome's neck roughly. She gasped in surprise and struggled against his grip. Kagome did the only thing she could do as she writhed and sputtered helplessly.. She cried out Inu-Yasha's name, and even though it only came out as a small squeak, Inu- Yasha heard it and reacted.  
  
He was almost instantly at his feet baring his fangs. He pulled Sesshoumauru's hand roughly away from a now unconscious Kagome's throat. He cradled the girl in his arms for a mere fraction of a second. He then leapt away quickly and set her down. His vision was now slightly hazy as he turned back to Sesshoumauru, growling and wiping blood from his forehead.  
  
"Sesshoumauru!" he snarled. He dove at Sesshoumauru and barreled into him. The two then began to exchange swift blows and heated words. It was this that made the other situation go unnoticed until it was too late to avoid.  
  
"You will not lay another hand on Kagome!" Inu-Yasha shouted at his brother.  
  
It was not his brother's voice that answered though.  
  
"He might not, but I will."  
  
The two brothers turned their head to find Naraku, the smirking freak, standing over Kagome with the Shikon no tama clenched in his hands.  
  
"Hmm... well, this is an interesting position, is it not?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sango again smacked Miroku.  
  
"HENTAI!" she screeched.  
  
"Shhh!" Miroku replied. "We're supposed to be here in secret remember?"  
  
Sango huffed slightly and made a mental note to get him back for that later.  
  
That is if they ever figured out where in the hell they were going. Like so many before them, they had gotten themselves lost in the vast Mamouru mansion. She sighed heavily and shook her head.  
  
"Got yourself hopelessly lost, eh?" came a voice.  
  
Now, at first, Sango thought this was a voice inside her head which was not good at all considering what she was trying to do. She blinked several times then looked around. It was then that she saw the small boy at her feet. He had auburn hair and a fluffly tail. He was smiling up at them with his child-like innocence.  
  
"Who... who are.. you?" Sango asked slowly. Miroku watched intently and tilted his head sideways.  
  
"Yes. That's quite a good question." Miroku finally said.  
  
"I'm Shippou!" the small fox demon exclaimed.  
  
Both of the them sweatdropped slightly.  
  
"Um... I've never heard of a Shippou... actually never heard of a child that lives with Sesshoumauru at all...," Miroku said slowly.  
  
Shippou peered at him in confusion. "I don't live with Sesshoumauru. Rin does. I'm visiting her. I'm trying to help her find someone."  
  
"Who?!" the older two said simulatiously. "Who's that?"  
  
Shippou blinked. "The human girl Sesshoumauru adopted of course. She lives here."  
  
They stared at him.  
  
"You're lying." Sango told the small boy.  
  
"Why would Sesshoumauru adopt a child? And a human no less." Miroku laughed softly. "Why should we believe you? Tell us that."  
  
"You dare to doubt my words?!" Shippou burst out indignantly. "I wouldn't lie about that!"  
  
"Not a suitable answer, young Shippou. Give us a better reason to believe that Sesshoumaru would adopt a human girl," Miroku said.  
  
Shippou huffed. "Don't ask me! Ask Rin!"  
  
Both of the elder two blinked. They shot each other a wary look and turned back to the boy in front of them. It was Sango that decided to speak.  
  
"Where is this Rin you speak of? I don't see her."  
  
Shippou rolled his eyes. "Are you blind as well as dumb?" the small fox child asked sarcastically. "She's right there!" Shippou pointed in what appeared to the two teens as a random direction.  
  
When they turned, however, there was the girl that he was talking about. Her eyes were quite glossy and her nose was red. It appeared as though she was close to tears.  
  
'She is quite adorable,' Sango thought. 'But why does she look so upset?'  
  
Sango did the instinctive thing to do. She went to the girl and knelt in front of her.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked, wrapping an arm around the small girl. "Did Sesshoumauru do something to you?"  
  
"NO!" Rin sniffled softly. "I think that I made Sesshoumauru mad though. I have to get her back!"  
  
"Get who back?" Sango asked softly.  
  
"I have to find Kagome! If I don't, Sesshoumauru is going to be mad!" Rin sniffled again and buried her face into Sango's shirt.  
  
A muffled, "Will you help me?" could be heard.  
  
Sango and Miroku exchanged a glance. At Miroku's calm nod, Sango pulled the girl back and wiped off her face.  
  
"Of course we'll help you." Sango said, smiling warmly at the small girl.  
  
"Yippee!!!!" Rin burst out, hugging Sango fiercely. "I so happy!!"  
  
Everyone else present couldn't help but sweatdrop.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Okay! There's the chappie! The next one should be out soon!  
  
I have a couple of questions for everyone but they can wait till a later chapter. So *in a cheesy announcer voice* see you next time when you return (hopefully -_-`) to read the next installment of How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Lesssssss!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*sweatdrops* Yes, I am well aware of how pathetic I am....  
  
Ja matte!  
  
Sakura Minomura is out!!! 


	24. Realizations and Betrayals

Why did this chapter take so long? I'm sorry for that. Someone got into the folder I keep my fanfiction in and deleted it. I was almost finished too. But then I had to re-write all of it. And then my comp decides to freak out and not work and is still glitchy. It has been a very frustrating chapter to get done. . .  
  
Sorry for the delay. *sigh* Here's the chapter.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own him. That simple.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less  
  
Chapter Twenty-Four  
  
Realizations and Betrayals  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sesshoumauru glared at Naraku. "I have told you not to harm the girl. I also told you that I would not tolerate another disobedient action from you." Sesshoumauru then darted toward Naraku, claws out- stretched.Naraku smirked at him as he dodged to the left quickly and brought in knee up to Sesshoumauru's stomach. Sesshoumauru hit the stone wall, crumbling much of it and burying him in the rumble.  
  
"I don't believe I care what you tolerate anymore." he said triumphantly. He then turned to watch as Inu-Yasha was slowly trying to carry Kagome as far away from his as was possible. He moved to intercept the hanyou, but the hanyou stumbled and fell, jarring the girl in his arms to wakefulness. He took most of the impact for her, and she really didn't realize she had fell.  
  
Naraku paused, thinking. 'Hm... well, I believe I'll let them get all comfortable then smash they're hope.' he chuckled softly. 'Yes, that's what I'll do.' He folded his arms over his chest and watched the scene before him.  
  
Kagome blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what was going on. She saw Inu-Yasha untangle his arms from around her and sat back.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked tiredly.  
  
"Oh! Don't worry about me!" she exclaimed. "You're the one that's wounded." She watched him with worry. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. You need to leave now though. I don't want to see you get hurt."  
  
Kagome shook her head determinedly. "I won't leave you. I told you that I wouldn't abandon you and I won't break my promise." Kagome then took hold of his shoulder and began to wipe some of the blood and grime off of him.  
  
~* And when you're there with no one there to hold  
  
I'll be the arms that reach for you.*~  
  
These long forgotten words echoed through his mind. The words had just been softly sung words to him even though she had sung them in front of an entire auditorium of her peers. He was just now finding the truth in them. Other words and instances then began to echo through his mind.  
  
~*"Why....why...," Inu-Yasha sputtered. "Why... sing... that... for me...?"  
  
"Because you're my friend," she stated simply. "And I don't abandon my friends."*~  
  
~* Inu-Yasha watched as the door swung back to reveal the girl standing in front of him beaming, and the boy, more than likely her little brother, standing behind her pouting dejectedly.  
  
The girl's amusement turned into confusion and she asked,"Oh!Who are you?"  
  
"I'm your new neighbor. I thought I'd say hi,"he grumbled barely audible.  
  
"That's so sweet!"she squealed, immediately making his ears flatten against the top of his head."Come in!"*~  
  
~*She glanced up quickly and noticed the odd expression on his face.  
  
'Well, it's now or never!'she thought.  
  
With that she reached up and began to pet his ears.  
  
"WHAT THE-"Inu-yasha started.  
  
"Gomen!I couldn't help it!They are so kawaii!"she said quickly.  
  
'She likes my ears?!'Inu-Yasha thought, shocked.*~  
  
~* "You can trust me!"she said in quiet anger and sadness. She sat on the edge off the sill beside him.*~  
  
~* "How do I know that?!"he asked, turning to look at her face.He stopped at her downcast eyes, filled with tears. 'She's crying!'he thought, astonished.'Why?'  
  
"I just wanna help!"she cried."I know what it's like to be in pain over what others do!"  
  
She lifted her eyes to meet his gaze."Please!I just wanna help!"*~  
  
~* Inu-Yasha's face turned into a pout and his ears drooped slightly.  
  
"AWWWW!!!!! KAWAII!!!!!" Kagome exclaimed. "HE'S POUTING!!! ISN'T THAT ADORABLE?!"  
  
It was then that Kagome realized what she had said and blushed profusely. Inu-Yasha blushed as well, but his blush was accompanied by a grin.*~  
  
Images of these times flashed through his head. He saw their first meeting. He remembered all the tender moments he had taken for granted. With a blush, he also remembered the kiss. It was then, he suddenly felt guilty that he had missed all the magic that stirred around the two of them. He wished he had made it more happy for her. He wished he had seen it. Oh, how he wished he'd took this into account before! He wished he could change it all and make it happier for Kagome. He couldn't change it though. He knew that. He decided to do the only thing he could do. To make the future happy for her.  
  
'I'll give her the happiness she deserves.' he promised to himself. 'She shall have her happiness.'  
  
He smiled down at her as she continued to wipe blood away from his wounds. It was then that his own words wandered through his mind.  
  
~* "For once in my life, I actually wanted to be found."*~  
  
Inu-Yasha had all but forgotten those words. He knew them to be true though. They were the truest words he had ever spoke. He had ran from human interaction too long. He had tried to seclude himself for so long, in fact, that he began to lose hope in finding a confidant.  
  
But here was Kagome, sitting next to him and doing the best first aid job she could. He, who had long since hurried away his gentler nature, had found himself searching desperately to find that nature again. He wanted to care and love again. He wanted something more than just an empty lonliness It was because of her, he realized. All because of her....  
  
This was the last thought that passed through his head before a foot came from no where sending Kagome sprawling over the stone floor. Inu-Yasha leapt to his feet to glare menacingly at a confidently smirking Naraku.  
  
"You will regret that, Naraku. Been quite assured of that," Inu-Yasha ground out. With that said, he leapt at Naraku.  
  
Naraku laughed softly at him and evaded Inu-Yasha's attack. Inu-Yasha growled and continued to attack him with wild abandon. Anger clearly motivated Inu-Yasha's attacks, making them quite unpredictable. Naraku continued to chuckle, however, which angered Inu-Yasha even further.  
  
"You bastard!" Inu-Yasha growled. He started to leap at Naraku when a familiar voice broke through the room.  
  
"Naraku!" was the sharp intrusion to the battle. All eyes snapped to the entryway of the small dungeon. There stood the infamous Kikyou glaring darkly at the other occupants of the stone chamber.  
  
Naraku blinked at her then he smiled sweetly. "Why hello, dear Kikyou. What brings you here?" he said pleasantly.  
  
Kikyou's glare darkened. "You already know why I'm here so why don't we cut to the chase. I will not forgive one who has betrayed me."  
  
Naraku continued to smile as he said, "Kikyou, I have not betrayed you. I am just a victim of circumstances. I had no intention at all of betraying you. Everything is just happening to fall into place though. We have the Shikon-no-tama. We have Sesshoumauru at the perfect disadvantage, and we also have Inu-Yasha and his girl here as an added bonus."  
  
Kikyou glared at him for a moment and opened her mouth to respond when she was interrupted.  
  
Sesshoumauru, who had long since pulled himself from the rubble Naraku had left him in, was the one who had provided this interruption. "I do believe it sounds as though you intended to betray me, Naraku. What gives you the inclination that you'd be able to defeat me?"  
  
Sesshoumauru eyed him thoughtfully. He had seen the whole exchange between his younger brother and that girl. He had also seen the perverse pleasure Naraku seemed to derive from dashing the couple's hope that this would soon end. Sesshoumauru knew that he could not trust Naraku. Everything he had now seen and heard had just proved him right.  
  
Naraku was taking his time to answer, Sesshoumauru noted. He watched as Naraku's eyes glimmered with amusement. Finally, Naraku decided to answer.  
  
"Well, my dear Sesshoumauru-sama," Naraku said, adding a sarcastic ring to the pronunciation of -sama. "You see, I now have in my possession the fabled Shikon-no-tama. A gem that will grant me enough energy to defeat the most powerful of demons much less you."  
  
Sesshoumauru continued to eye Naraku. 'Shikon-no-tama?' Sesshoumauru thought warily. Of course he had heard of it. Most all demons had. But for the Shikon-no-tama to truly exist in this era? That idea was entirely improbable. And, also, as every demon had heard as well, the Shikon-no-tama was said to have been destroyed five hundred years ago by a priest of the Sunset Shrine maintained by the Higurashi clan.....  
  
The implication of the tale Naraku had just spun just dawned on him. Sesshoumauru stared at Kagome as he began to absorb what Naraku was telling him and combining that with what he knew. The puzzle of why Naraku had cut Kagome open now solved itself. He now understood why Naraku had suggested that they kidnap the girl. The Shikon-no-tama must have been reborn inside Kagome, a descendant of Midoriko Higurashi, the one who had first borne the Shikon-no-tama from her body. Or, Sesshoumauru thought, she could be a direct descendant of Midoriko's brother, the one who had destroyed the jewel after his sister's death.  
  
'If what Naraku said is true, and he does indeed have the powerful Shikon-no-tama,' Sesshoumauru thought. 'That means he know plans to kill me and take my position. Then this may be a battle to approach catiously.'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Inu-Yasha stared at Kikyou in surprise. 'Okay, so, I already knew she was bad enough, but to conspire with Naraku?! That was just lower than I thought she would go!' A sadness filled him. Maybe that was another reason for her dating him so many years ago. On top of everything, she was probably in alliance with Naraku at that time as well. He sighed again, but the labored breathing from behind him brought him from his reverie. He glanced back at Kagome then decided to stand by her in case someone else had a sneak attack planned.  
  
That's what he told himself anyways. He had secret reasons for standing there as well. Being next to her gave him the assurance that someone could care for him. Being next to her also gave him hope that he could get them both out of this. It gave him the assurance that he could finally conquer his past.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
"MIROKU!!! YOU'VE GOT US LOST!!!"  
  
"I'm so sorry, Sango. Let me make it up to you."  
  
"HENTAI~!! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I don't think we'll ever find them, Shippou."  
  
"Oh, don't worry, Rin. We will find them. Just not anytime soon."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N- This chappie took longer than expected. As I've said, I had to rewrite the chappie. I've also had to work around soccer, FCCLA, FFA, school, and computer troubles. Of course, this should be no excuse cause most of you have to deal with it too, but there you have it. Gomen nasai. I'll see ya'll soon. Preferably sooner than last time. But, unfortunately, I'm still working around comp troubles. *sighs* Stupid thing.  
  
Ja matte!  
  
~*Sakura Minomura hates her comp*~ 


	25. The Blood Stains on the Carpet

I have returned my dear readers, after so much time absent. This of course due to the fact my comp died. I have a new one now and I also have spell check! (dances) Well technically I got this comp quite a while ago, but due to issues that I have been forced to deal with in my life (the details of which are unpleasant but if you really want to know, feel free to e-mail or im me…), the chap has been quite delayed. For this, I am very sorry.

THAT SAID, ON THE WUZZERFULNESS OF CHAPPIE TWENTY-FIVE! WOOT!

DISCLAIMER: As much as I hate to say, he belongs to someone else… (pouts)

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Twenty-Five

The Blood Stains on the Carpet

As Inu-Yasha peered around the small room that resembled a miniature catacomb, his heart sank. Within this room, there were the three people who could most invoke nightmares, and he realized how real this situation was. He could find no escape to the situation. Kikyou was blocking the door so he couldn't get out that way. Kikyou herself, of course, was not the problem. The problem was that she could easily alert Naraku to his flight, and he knew that he couldn't outrun Naraku in his current condition. He sighed.

What did he ever do to deserve this?

He continued to scan the room for an exit and found only a passageway that led to rooms deeper into the mansions "catacombs." That's all he needed was to delve deeper into the maze that was the Mamouru mansion. He looked down at Kagome again.

'I'll get you out. I promise. I won't let them hurt you anymore,' he promised her. He glanced around again for an escape. 'It's now or never,' he told himself, as Sesshoumauru and Naraku continued to quarrel. With this fleeting thought, he sped towards the door. He had reached Kikyou and was pushing her aside when he heard the swish of a claws coming down.

Inu-Yasha whipped around just in time to see Kikyou who had been caught in Naraku's attack. Blood poured from her shoulder and ran down to her fingertips. She fell to the ground in surprise and grabbed her wound. She glared murderously at Naraku and stood in front of him.

"Now that was foolish Naraku, and you know that," Kikyou spat at him. Her hands began to radiant with a blue light. She smiled a bitter-sweet smile at him as she gathered energy. "You know this cannot go unpunished."

Inu-Yasha, ever the quick thinker, could do nothing but stare somewhat stupidly at the scene playing out before him. Suddenly Kikyou turned to face him and gave him an almost fathomless look.

"Go!" she said. "Go now!"

Inu-Yasha cast a baffled expression in her direction, but he began to climb the winding stairwell. He heard shouts behind him, but he was much too focused on the bundle in his arms to try and discern what was being said. Her breathing was slightly labored, which scared him.

"Inu… Inu-Yasha…?" she whispered with some difficulty. "Where… where are you?" A single tear flowed from her closed eye. "Please… I don't want you to die…"

Inu-Yasha, still trying to find his way out of the maze of the Mamouru mansion, brushed the tear away quickly. He could never stand the smell of her tears, and he didn't need to add that to his ever-growing list of pains and woes.

"Shhhh," he whispered. "I'm here, Kagome. I'm here… I won't die on you."

"No, Inu-Yasha, don't!" she screamed suddenly. "He'll kill you!" She began to thrash in his arms. "NO! NO! NO!"

Inu-Yasha had to stop momentarily. 'What's wrong…!' he asked himself in surprise. 'What kind of dream is she having?' "I'm not going to die," he whispered softly, but she continued to struggle. He sighed and said more forcefully, "I'm not going to die! Damn it, Kagome! We've got to get out of here! I'm gonna protect you!"

He repeated that last sentence several times as if assuring himself as well. He shushed her and rubbed her head until she finally quieted.

"Please… just don't… don't leave me… okay?" she whispered as another tear rolled down her cheek. She snuggled against his chest and finally fell into a complete sleep.

Inu-Yasha sighed and wiped this tear away as well. 'Why does she always cry for me…?' he asked himself in confusion. 'Why?' Forcing himself not to think on it any more, he began to make his way down the corridor. He caught the scent of Miroku and Sango, realizing with growing dread that they had finally made it into to mansion. He swerved through a door just in time to come face to face with the pervert and his beloved girl friend.

Sango looked up in surprise. "Inu-Yasha! What happened? Are you okay!"

Inu-Yasha shot her and aggravated glance. "No! I'm not okay! Do I look okay to you!"

(A/N Author begins to sing 'I'm not okay (I promise)' It's such a great song. . )

"Jeez! Touchy, touchy, are we?" Miroku said, grinning, ever the happy idiot.

Inu-Yasha growled at him. "Just come on. We gotta get Kagome out of here!" He began to move past them to travel down the corridor when a high-pitched voice stopped him.

"But she can't leave!"

"Yeah, that's right! She can't!"

Inu-Yasha turned to see two small children. One was Sesshoumauru's small adopted daughter. The other was a small, auburn-haired fox child.

Inu-Yasha frowned at them but showed surprising patience with the children which quite possibly came from his babysitting adventures with Kagome. He knelt in front of them, Kagome still safe in his arms, as he said, "Well, you see, she has to leave, and she has to leave now!"

Rin's eyes became huge. "But why!"

"Because," Inu-Yasha replied. "She's really sick, and I have to get her to a hospital to get better." 'Okay, so maybe I'll forego the trip to the hospital, but these brats don't have to know that.'

Shippou seemed convinced but Rin was still cautious. "But Sesshoumauru said that she can't leave…"

"Does Sesshoumauru want her to die?" he replied because he knew how naïve the child was in her adoration of his dear brother.

"NO!" Rin said quickly, her eyes shining with innocence.

Inu-Yasha's heart melted at the sight and smiled slightly. "Alright then, we have to get her out of here." He turned and started down the corridor as his two friends followed them. These two friends were busy exchanging startled glances, of course.

Rin sighed softly and knelt as Inu-Yasha had.

"He was… nice…" Shippou said, perplexed. "He seemed really mean when he frowned like that…"

Rin probably would have agreed, but she was preoccupied with something else. Shippou looked as she pointed at a spot on the floor.

There, standing out against the ivory colored carpet, was a large puddle of blood. As he looked further down the hall, he could see more small flecks of blood behind where the dog-eared boy had just fled.

"He's… hurt…" Rin said with a child-like worry in her eyes. "I hope… he's okay….like he said…"

A/N Time- Okay so the next chapter is going to be really sad… I can't help it. I just know I'm going to cry while I write- er- type it. But never fear my dear readers; things always get worse before they get better, but let me assure you- it will get better.

INU-YASHA WILL TRIUMPH! HE HAS TOO!

Wait… that makes it sound like I don't know what's going to happen either… hm…. Oh well.

My quote for today? "Come. Don't be shy. Leap into my arms." –Miroku, Inu-Yasha Movie 1 :P

Ja matte!

Sakura Minomura is out!


	26. Killing Innocence

I have returned… again! YAY! On a weird note, I have absolutely nothing to put here except enjoy the chappie…..

What a wonderful author's note…

DISCLAIMER: In a million years… or just when pigs fly.

- How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less-

- Chapter 26-

-Killing Innocence-

'Home free at last!' Inu-Yasha thought as he bolted out of the front door, followed closely by Miroku and Sango, of course. His chest heaved with the simple task of breathing. This was attributed to the fact that with every breath, fresh blood was accompanied. He glanced down at Kagome and smiled. All of this was worth it if only for the fact Kagome would survive. Life was beginning to look up.

That is, until Inu-Yasha was halfway through the front yard. Something slammed into him; Inu-Yasha flew into the air and sailed across the yard. He finally came to a stop when he hit a tree. All the while, he had clung to Kagome who was curled up, much like a cat, on his stomach. He was happy to report that he had taken all the impact for her, and she was spared further injury. But then, this had also caused her to stir.

Inu-Yasha raised his eyes to see both Miroku and Sango step in front of him to block Naraku's path to him. The two of them looked menacing but was no where near as menacing as Naraku. He let them exchange insults with Naraku as he watched Kagome sit up. She blinked at him and lifted a hand to her head.

"Where am I and can I have some aspirin?" was the first thing out of her mouth. She pulled her hand away from her forehead and gasped at the sight of blood. She glanced around, frightened, for a few moments. When she realized where she was, her fright quickly turned to anger. She tried to stand quickly but promptly fell down. She leaned against the tree beside Inu-Yasha and let her head fall over onto Inu-Yasha's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Inu-Yasha asked, his voice somewhat strained.

"Yeah, just kinda tired and you?"

"I'm fine." He stood on shaking legs. "I just hafta finish this. Wait for me."

"Always," she replied quietly. "Just make sure you don't keep me waiting forever."

Inu-Yasha caught the hint. This was Kagome's way of saying 'Don't you dare die on me.'

He strode forward, past the couple still arguing with Naraku.

"Shut up and stay out of it. This is my battle now," he said curtly. He popped his knuckles and glared at Naraku. Sango and Miroku were both taken aback by the situation and took a few steps back. Sango reached up and played with her hair to keep her hands busy and also to keep herself from jumping into the battle before Inu-Yasha directed her to. Miroku then took hold of Sango's hand and smiled at her.

"He's going to be okay," he told her.

She looked at him uncertainly and turned her attention back to the battle.

Naraku smirked at Inu-Yasha and lifted a bloody hand. "Kikyou's dead, you know. Her last words were 'I'm sorry, Inu-Yasha.' She fell limp then, and her body was cold. Deathly cold, as it were. It was very… amusing, if I do say so myself." He watched the emotions that played across the faces of the three teenagers who had known Kikyou and had been her friend for a very long time.

Inu-Yasha's eyes widened. 'Kikyou? Dead? Couldn't be. She was the first person who was strong enough to get through my defenses.' He had wished Kikyou harm on several occasions but death? Even he wasn't that cold. At least, not any more. Not since he'd met Kagome…

Miroku and Sango were just stunned by this announcement. They stared at Naraku and slowly their hatred for him deepened. He once again proved that he was completely heartless.

Inu-Yasha leapt at Naraku with Naraku's laughter filling his sensitive ears. He screamed at his adversary as he brought his claws down. Only problem was that his claws met thin air.

"You have to be faster than that to get me," Naraku said mockingly before appearing behind Inu-Yasha to kick him in the side.

Inu-Yasha fell to the ground, sputtering.

Kagome who was still leaning against the tree began to shout at this point. "Get the Shikon-no-tama! That's where his power is coming from! Get it! HURRY!"

Inu-Yasha got to his feet and took a few steps backwards. He got his balance before lunging at Naraku again. Naraku dodged backwards, smirking, as Inu-Yasha swung at him.

"Where is the damn thing, Kagome! I don't see it!" he shouted as he continued his attempts to slash Naraku's throat.

"It's around his neck… or in his neck… I can't really tell!" she shouted at him.

"Perfect!" Inu-Yasha screamed maliciously. "I've always wanted to rip his throat out!"

Naraku shot a glare in Kagome's direction before punching Inu-Yasha in the stomach. He leapt away from a coughing Inu-Yasha.

"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FULL POWER OF THE SHIKON-NO-TAMA YET!" Naraku shouted as a strange light began to radiate from his neck. Tendrils of smoke and branches began to sprout from his legs… or what used to be his legs. His arms began to take the form of branches as well. The branches that now substituted his legs writhed like snakes, and each seemed to have a dangerously sharp edge. He laughed. It was a low sadistic laugh that chilled the bones and curdled the blood.

Inu-Yasha's eyes narrowed at him. 'Okay… this makes things a tad more complicated…'

Elsewhere...

Sesshoumauru walked slowly up the stairs. Naraku thought he had killed him but was very mistaken in that assumption. The scent of blood was so thick in the air that he could barely make out the other scents intertwined in it. This didn't stop him from picking up Rin's scent. He always seemed to be able to pick up her scent as it often took precedent over all else, much to Sesshoumauru's confusion. The scent was especially noticeable now as it was spiked with fear.

Sesshoumauru felt a sense of urgency that he couldn't explain and had no intention of trying to reason out this sense later. He began to run down the corridor and almost tore the door down when he finally came to it. He slowed considerably when he crossed the threshold, though, so that whoever was in the room other than Rin wouldn't see him so worried. He was famous for his calm, indifferent attitude and would have it stay that way.

The scent of blood in this room was even more overwhelming than that of the rooms outside. "Rin?" he said. "Rin? Come here."

He could smell Rin's blood, and this infuriated him. What infuriated him even more was the sick scent of Naraku that tainted the room. He walked around the couch and the small table in the room and finally the sickening truth of the situation was revealed to him. Rin and Shippou were in a corner, curled around each other. Their hands were clasped together and appeared to have been huddling in fear when Naraku had killed them.

Sesshoumauru could not see the wounds nor did he want too. He did, however, know what he had to do. He walked stiffly through the room and opened another room. In this room, he walked over to a chest and jerked the top off of it in his anger. He reached into it and carefully removed an old sword. With this, he returned swiftly to Rin's side.

"Tensaiga," he said, and brought the sword down to slash away the demons of the netherworld that had come for the children's souls. He then sheathed the sword again and leaned down beside Rin to watch her eyes open.

She blinked at him then leapt into his arms. "Otou-san!" she cried gleefully.

Shippou woke as well and blinked at the sight. He smiled at Sesshoumauru and bowed. "Thank you, Sesshoumauru-sama."

Rin looked back at Shippou and frowned. She promptly grabbed his hand and pulled him into the hug as well.

Sesshoumauru showed a rare moment of caring and hugged them both to him.

Back in the Yard...

Inu-Yasha was fed up with battling this new, grotesque Naraku and decided to finish. He had been thrown across the yard again and found himself next to Kagome who had gained quite a bit of strength back.

Inu-Yasha pulled Kagome close to him and stroked her hair. "I'm going to finish this now," he whispered softly in her ear. "But I need your help. I'm going to rip the Shikon-no-tama out of his throat, but I need you to get it for me once it hits the ground. Alright?"

"Alright…" she whispered back. He then pulled her back and kissed her quickly before turning and sprinting towards Naraku. It was this sight that brought back memories of her dream.

"NO! Inu-Yasha! Don't! He'll kill you!" Kagome cried. "Please, Inu-Yasha, don't!"

Then, her now-remembered dream played out in reality.

Inu-Yasha leapt at Naraku. Naraku was taken by surprise by the very boldness of it. This gave Inu-Yasha enough time to rip half of Naraku's throat off and hurl it behind him towards Kagome. This injury did not stop Naraku's final blow.

Kagome began to cry as she saw the branch that was Naraku's arm pierce Inu-Yasha's heart. She grabbed hold of the Shikon-no-tama as she ran towards the fallen Inu-Yasha. She could hear Sango and Miroku run after her, but she didn't care. The only satisfaction Kagome had was that Naraku was now returning to human form and was very much dead.

O-O

Okies, there's the chappie. I'll return soon with another. Possibly I'll return tonight with another chapter as I'm just as on edge about this as you are. Can't leave it hanging at the climax of the story, can I?

Just a note, initially I didn't intend to have Rin and Shippou die. I probably would think myself sadistic if I had planned it out that way. I realized that I didn't include much about Naraku's evil exploits in the fic. Not that anybody really wants to read about those but I needed something to emphasize how truly evil Naraku was.

On another note, I know that some people may comment on the fact that Sango and Miroku would have jumped into the battle with Naraku. In the series, they certainly would as they are out for revenge. In the fic, however, these two aren't motivated by revenge for the hole in the hand or the manipulation of a brother. Though they both are angry at Naraku for tormenting Inu-Yasha, they realize that is essential Inu-Yasha's battle and respect his wishes to fight alone. They did have every intention to jump in should the battle swing for the worse, but the worst blow that Naraku delivers was delivered to quickly for Inu-Yasha himself to react…

I shall return soon to reveal the fate of everyone's favorite hanyou, Inu-Yasha.

Sakura Minomura sobs in a corner


	27. The Fleeting Light and the Growing Darkn...

I have returned dear readers. Be assured that this chapter will be better than the last.

DISCLAIMER: …Is this necessary for every freakin' chapter?

-How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less-

-Chapter 27-

-The Fleeting Light and the Growing Darkness-

A deep blackness pulled at the edges of his mind. It beckoned him and called him. No lazy thoughts drifted around. He was much too tired for even that. He felt all of his strength leaving him, and the horrible, all-consuming darkness continued to spread. He knew he was dying. He was quite sure of it.

He felt each of his senses slowly begin to fail. This made him quite unsure of his surroundings, but the frantic voice reached his ears before all sound was lost to the darkness engulfing his mind.

'I'm sorry… Please… don't wait too long…' he thought tiredly, willing the owner of that voice to hear. Yet he knew she didn't.

He sighed within his mind and was quite sure that the sigh never reached his mouth.

'I love you…' he confessed finally to the owner of the voice he could no longer hear. 'Kagome… I'll miss you the most…'

He was ready to succumb to the darkness. He was just too tired to fight. He had spent too much time fighting worthless battles that he didn't have enough strength for the battle that really mattered.

Life sucked that way, he supposed.

Just as he was letting his mind shut down completely, a single light appeared in his mind. It was a searing, blinding light that illuminated all but the deepest corners of his mind. The sheer brightness made his mind shy away since his mind was becoming accustomed to the never-ending darkness.

It was then that a voice began to emanate from the light. The voice was unlike any he had ever heard before, and he had no clue as to whom it did belong. It most certainly didn't belong to him as the voice was very much female.

'Do you want to save her?' it asked.

'Her, who?' he asked back. 'Her, as in Kagome? I did save her… I did! Is she in danger again?'

'You may have saved her body, but if you do not hurry, she will lose her soul.'

'Her soul? Who would take her soul?' he asked as anger began to cloud his mind, tainting the light with the redness of his anger. 'If it's Naraku…if it's Sesshoumauru, I swear I'll kill them…'

'It would not be Naraku's doing,' the voice said, firmly.

'Who…?' he asked as he searched those deep corners of his mind for someone that would do something that awful.

The voice seemed to become stern with him. 'You will, Inu-Yasha, if you don't hurry.'

His already strained heart seemed to skip a beat. 'I would… I would never…' he thought weakly to the voice.

'Yes, you would. If you die now, her soul would die with yours,' the voice told him. 'Her soul isn't ready to part with yours. It's much too early for that. You still have things to do before you go.'

'I do…?'

'Yes. Naraku's evil is not yet dead yet. His is yes, as is his body, but the demons that make up his body will soon emerge. They fed off of him and brought him closer to becoming a full demon. Now that he is dead, however, those demons will awaken and kill everything in sight.'

'Kagome! She will be in danger again! I have to help her. Please, tell me how to help her!' he pleaded with the voice.

The voice seemed to smile. 'You have a power within you. A power that you can use to defeat those who threaten the lives of you and your friends. I can reveal it to you and draw it out.'

'But how? How am I supposed to wield some power if I can't even wake up? I'm on the verge of death!'

'I've been healing you. You're wounds are almost gone.'

'What!' he asked the voice in disbelief. 'Who are you!'

But the voice never answered. The light had finally spread all through his mind, all through his soul, and he could feel himself waking up…

-With Kagome

Kagome was sobbing onto Inu-Yasha's chest, the hard-won Shikon-no-tama still clutched in her hand. She was so upset that she didn't notice when it began to glow softly. She didn't see Inu-Yasha's wounds slowly begin to heal because all she saw was all the blood he had already lost. The blood that now stained her clothing as a result of holding him close.

Kagome could never be to upset to notice, however, when his chest began to rise and fall. It wasn't a ragged, torturous breathing either. It was steady and strong, as though he was merely sleeping and not unconscious due to injury. She sat back slightly to peer at his face and gasped.

He was beginning to open his eyes.

Kagome was filled with surprise and joy. "Inu-Yasha!" she cried as he sat up. She let her head fall onto his shoulder, and she hugged him tightly. "You're alive. Oh, I'm so happy!"

Tears began to fall down her face.

"Please… please don't cry…" Inu-Yasha said. "I just can't stand the smell of your tears."

She pulled back and looked at him. She wiped a hand across her face, smearing the blood and tears together. "I'm sorry… I'm just… so happy...," she said. She smiled radiantly at him, eyes gleaming with happiness.

Miroku and Sango watched the scene, both smiling. Miroku reached up and wiped the tears from Sango's cheek. She had been crying as well.

"Well, this is a good way to end a hard morning," she said. "Let's go home now. I'm sure Kagome's family is worried sick about her."

He nodded and said, "Inu-Yasha! Let's go. You two need to get a…"

He trailed off. His mouth was hanging open slightly as he pointed wordlessly towards the body of Naraku. His chest was bursting open, and countless demons were crawling from him.

Inu-Yasha jumped to his feet. Power. The voice said she would draw out the dormant power in him. Had she done it? He didn't feel any different. He didn't even know what sort of power she was talking about…

The newly freed demons turned their attentions to them, leering. As the demons prepared for the attack, the Shikon-no-tama began to glow. A figure was formed by the light.

"Midoriko…," Kagome said. She didn't know much about Midoriko. Heck, she didn't know much about the Shikon-no-tama, but this woman seemed familiar to her. Like she'd seen her…

Then Kagome remembered. She had seen her. When she was young, she used to dream about this woman. Especially on days when she was feeling bad or she was sick, she would dream of Midoriko, and Midoriko would help her. It was like having a guardian angel that appeared only in dreams to soothe her fears.

Kagome smiled. Midoriko was here to help her again, but this time, she was real.

Midoriko walked to Inu-Yasha, a smile on her face. Inu-Yasha stood, face frozen with confusion. He watched her with something akin to shock or maybe even fear.

"Hold still," Midoriko commanded with her soft and gentle voice.

"You're… you're the voice that… that...," he stammered, unsure of what he was trying to say.

"Yes," she said. "Now, be quiet. I have to concentrate."

His eyes grew large, and he nodded. 'What in the hell is going on?' he thought as Midoriko laid a hand on his chest. The other hand came up to cover his face.

For those who were watching, it appeared as though she pushed her hand into his face. For Inu-Yasha, he found himself inside of his mind again. Like he was asleep. Like the first time he had spoken with her. He could see the light of Midoriko reach into a deep crevice of his mind. As the light retreated again, however, it was pulling a sword with it.

Even the demons stopped to watch in amazement as Midoriko extracted the sword from Inu-Yasha. The sword was coming out of Inu-Yasha's eye and at first, appeared tiny. The further the sword came from the eye, the larger it became. Finally, a sword rested in the hands of Midoriko.

Inu-Yasha stood in a daze for a few moments before the fog in his brain began to clear. Suddenly, his eyes focused, and he looked at Kagome. She smiled encouragingly. He looked at the woman in front of him.

"Take it," she said. "Take the Tetsusaiga. It is the power left to you by your father."

Inu-Yasha's eyes held some unidentifiable emotion as he said. "I know." He took the sword.

And Midoriko vanished. She had smiled at Kagome as though a final good-bye, and she simply vanished. When she vanished, the Shikon-no-tama did as well.

"The jewel…," Kagome said. "Wha…?"

"It has been purified," said a voice from directly behind her.

She spun around and came face to face with Sesshoumauru. She gasped and took a step back, confusion written on her face. Miroku and Sango tensed and took a step towards the pair.

Sesshoumauru continued, ignoring the negative reaction that his presence had brought. "You used the jewel for the ultimate task of good." She looked at him quizzically. "You brought the one you loved back to life." He sighed as though he was talking to an idiot, and he was becoming exasperated.

She blinked, surprised such a sentiment had come from Sesshoumauru.

"That's the riddle of the jewel. It can only be used for good once, but it can be used for unlimited evils. Didn't you even know that?"

When she shook her head, he sighed again. She could almost hear him think, 'Idiots…'

Kagome shook her head and turned to watch Inu-Yasha struggle against the demons. Miroku and Sango were assisting in the best way they could- beating the demons with whatever they could find. She was the only one, besides Sesshoumauru, that hadn't joined the battle. She couldn't do anything anyways, she supposed.

With the Tetsusaiga, the battle was won fairly quickly. Many of the demons were weak and easy to kill. There were a few demons that were somewhat difficult and cunning, however.

Like the one that detached himself from the group and wrapped around an unsuspecting Kagome…

The demon was in the form of a giant serpent, and he let the tip of his tail curl menacingly around Kagome's neck.

Her eyes were wide with fear as she watched the serpent as best she could.

When Inu-Yasha said, "Good, I think that's the last of them," Kagome made a strangled sound that made him turn around.

"No," the creature hissed. "There's one more. I'm quite afraid I'm the last and the best of them. I'm the demon who controlled the majority of Naraku's mind." It smiled at Inu-Yasha. "I watched as Kikyou died. I watched as those children died." It turned its head toward Kagome. "I even watched as your father died. You probably didn't realize that I was watching, but I was. Naraku was powerful. He could plant spies anywhere. They could be the tiniest insect, but he would see it all through those small eyes."

A tear ran down Kagome's face. A single, solitary tear. Inu-Yasha caught the scent of the tear and was ready to leap on the demon. He realized, though, that Kagome would die if he did that.

"That's right," the demon hissed. "Cry. Cry for the father I helped kill. I had front rows seats to watch his demise. It was quite a painful death, I'm sure. He struggled so hard to fight of death, but alas, he was just a mere mortal. He was no match against a demon."

The demon laughed. A laugh that soon became strangled and quieted. Not by Inu-Yasha, for once, but by Kagome. A blue light had erupted from her and had taken hold of the demon's throat. This blue aura then took on the edge of a blade and sliced the demon to pieces.

Kagome fell to her knees and she wiped the tear from her face and caught many others as they began to fall. Warm arms enveloped her, and a voice whispered, "It's okay. I'm still here. I won't keep you waiting forever. Let's go."

Those warm arms lifted her up and carried her across the yard. They only stopped once.

"We'll finish this later, little brother. I must attend to this mess Naraku's made first."

Inu-Yasha turned to face his brother. This was the first time he had looked at his brother without cringing with something akin to fear and without anger. "Alright, big brother, later."

Kagome saw the two children with blood-stained clothing to attach themselves to Sesshoumauru's legs. She could knew Inu-Yasha smiled when he saw this. She also knew that he would no longer run from his nightmares; she knew he would face them with courage…

-Author's note-

Well there you go. This is almost over. It's been two years (I think) since I started this story and it's almost over. It has been lots of fun, and I hope everyone else has too. I see you soon. Hope you guys likesies!

Sakura Minomura is out.

P.S. I told you Inu-chan would win :P


	28. Explanations and Apologies

Hello again, my faithful readers. We're getting into the final leg of the fic. I hope you've enjoyed it thus far. I have enjoyed this fic more than the authoress should I think. This fic has been my baby… (sniffles) NEways… Time to go at it! (wait… that doesn't sound right….)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the coolest half demon ever. Sigh…

How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Explanations and Apologies

Kagome and Inu-Yasha had finally escaped from Kagome's mom who, understandably, didn't want her daughter out of her sight. Kagome needed to talk to Inu-Yasha, and she knew she may not get such a good opportunity. The two of them were now sitting in Inu-Yasha's self-proclaimed haven. Inu-Yasha was fidgeting and was noticeably nervous.

"Could you explain everything to me now? You told me that you'd tell me your story eventually." Kagome smiled softly. "I deserve to hear an explanation."

Inu-Yasha nodded and looked off into the forest and began to speak. "Well, as you found out, I come from a rich family. You saw that. My father, he carried on two long standing businesses. Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga." Kagome began to speak, but he cut her off. "Yes, like my sword. Also like Sesshoumauru's sword. Tenseiga is a chain of stores that sell medical supplies. Tetsusaiga is a chain of stores that sell all types of the newest technology, from computers to video games to the newest, most advance weaponry. Well, just as the sword Tenseiga was left to Sesshoumauru, so was the corporation."

Kagome's eyes widened. "And he left you the Tetsusaiga Corporation..."

Inu-Yasha nodded. "He believes I got the better end of the deal which infuriates him. He doesn't get sick and very rarely is he injured so he doesn't see the necessity of the Tenseiga Corporation. Weapons though… he understands that. Since the day Father died, he's been trying to get me to sign over the ownership to him. Of course, right now, he runs it in my place 'cause I'm so young, but he knows that I will take his place someday. He would also like to get that large sum of money I stand to inherit I think." Inu-Yasha glanced at Kagome to see how she would react at the 'large sum of money' part.

Kagome merely nodded.

Inu-Yasha continued then. "I mean, I don't personally want the corporation. Come on, could you see me in a suit and a briefcase trying to make all those corporate jerks happy? Yeah, whatever, like I'd ever do that."

"Why do you keep the corporation then? Why don't you just give it to Sesshoumauru?"

Inu-Yasha seemed to grow angry at this comment too quickly. Kagome knew that he wasn't angry for real. She knew that he was merely becoming defensive about something.

"I wouldn't just GIVE Sesshoumauru ANYTHING!" He yelled. "He doesn't deserve it!"

For Miroku and Sango, this answer had always sufficed, but Kagome continued in a low, quiet voice.

"Are you sure that's all, Inu-Yasha? I think there's a little more to it than that."

Inu-Yasha folded his arms across his chest and tried to continue to be angry, but after a few moments of awkward silence, he finally sighed. "Okay, so maybe that's the only thing I have left of my father. I don't really remember much about him. The only clear thing is his voice. I remember hearing words of encouragement from a deep, strong voice. I just… just know it's his voice… you know… like… like instinct…" He trailed off, unsure of what he was trying to say.

"You have the sword now though. You still have a piece of your father. I mean, how personal can a corporation going to be?"

"True," said Inu-Yasha, drifting off into his thoughts. Kagome just sat and let him think for a while until finally she had to break the lingering silence.

"Why wouldn't you tell me all these things before? Why wait till now to tell me about all of this?" Kagome looked at him, confused.

An unidentifiable emotion crept into his face, and he refused to look at her. "Well… I… I didn't…"

Kagome sighed. "If you didn't trust me, you can just tell me. I can understand that."

"NO! That's not was I was going to say!" Inu-Yasha said, angry and defensive again.

He huffed and Kagome watched him silently, waiting. He leaned back and watched a bird fly by, seething uncomfortably. Finally he growled softly and sighed.

"You'll probably get mad if I tell you," he murmured.

He stole a glance at her as she shook her head, and he sighed again. "I… well…" he stumbled over his words before he finally blurted out, "I didn't want you to be with me just because you wanted the money and power I stand to inherit!" He crossed his arms and turned away slightly so she couldn't see his face very well.

Kagome was caught by surprise at this remark. She certainly hadn't expected to hear that. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she did her best to hold them back. "Why… did you…. I mean… do you really think… of me that way?" she asked, stopping several times so that she wouldn't start crying.

"NO!" Inu-Yasha shouted.

"Then… then why?" Kagome was now trying to keep her anger in check. Inu-Yasha was acting like he was the one that should be upset and not her.

He slammed a fist into the ground and cursed under his breath. Then he shouted, "Don't you get it! That's what Kikyou did to me! She did that to me, Kagome! I didn't want that to happen again! Her family told her that I stand to inherit an empire so she better move in while I was still eligible! She used me! The whore used me! But I'm smarter than that! I found out!" He slammed his fist into the ground again before leaping into the nearest tree where he sat, arms crossed firmly over his chest.

He could see Kagome's rigid frame below him. He tore his eyes from her and sighed. He could still see with blinding clarity when Miroku came to him with an elegant journal in his hand.

'What the hell is that, Miroku? You're diary,' he heard his own voice say in his mind. Then he could see Miroku wince and he heard the response-

'No… Inu-Yasha, it's… it's Kikyou's.'

'Miroku, you asshole, why are YOU reading my girlfriend's diary!' He saw his hand reach out and grab it away from Miroku.

'I didn't mean to Inu-Yasha. Me and Sango were at her house, and they left to go do 'girl things' or so they said. I went to get a pen out of her desk drawer, to write my dear Sango a love letter with, and I saw it. I couldn't help myself, Inu-Yasha. Curiosity got the better of me… but Inu-Yasha, there are some things in there you need to read before you get hurt even worse…'

He cursed at Miroku and sent him away. He looked at the burgundy-colored journal and sat on his bed. He looked at it for a long time before he decided to trust Miroku. After all, Miroku had been his friend far longer than Kikyou had been his girlfriend.

He then found himself in the story of Kikyou's life, in Kikyou's handwriting, detailing all her feelings. Feelings he was quite sure he didn't want to know about.

Inu-Yasha sighed and looked up to the sun, positioned directly overhead. 'It's about noon,' he thought and sighed. 'I should just go home. Kagome probably never wants to talk to me again. She probably thinks I'm the biggest jerk on the planet for suggesting that she was similar to Kikyou.'

He was about to jump back to the ground and tell Kagome that he would take her home, but there was a loud thud that stopped him. He tensed visibly and sniffed at the air. He didn't smell anything besides the normal scents of the forest.

That and the scent of Kagome.

He looked down to find her vainly trying to climb the rather tall tree that he was perched in. There was another loud thud as she hit the ground after she slipped off a branch. She sighed slightly and stood up once again. With a determined expression, she began to climb the tree again. He smiled.

Kagome was becoming increasingly more frustrated. She had never been much of a tree climber when she was younger, and now she found it trickier that she had originally thought. She was making better progress this time though. She was on a higher branch, and she had a better grip on said branch as well. She lifted her foot to climb to the next branch, but her boot slipped.

'Okay so maybe boots aren't the best shoes to climb trees in…' Kagome thought as she braced herself for the impact.

But the impact never came. Inu-Yasha had caught her by the wrist and proceeded to lift her up. She smiled at him.

"Thanks," she said softly.

He just nodded his head slightly to acknowledge that she had spoken. She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. They sat together like that for a while, not speaking. A bond was growing stronger, and a quiet promise was being made.

Time had taken away many things for the couple. They had endured the trials of time and the sorrow that comes with it. They had found a rare moment of happiness, and they wished that it could last forever so that maybe the power of that moment could chase away those sorrows.

Yes, time may take away many things, but for Kagome and Inu-Yasha, time finally stopped for just a little while.

A few nights later

Kagome raced down the stairs of the shrine, rushed and obviously running late. She was wearing a rather alluring black dress that, because her mother drew the line at it, was not the revealing, sexy, leather dress that some of her friends at school had picked out.

She rounded the corner and started to rush up Inu-Yasha's drive-way. She was halfway there when a large pair of arms grabbed hold of her and spun her around. She screamed and slapped the owner of those arms before realizing who the owner of those arms was.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Inu-Yasha shouted then, for good measure added, "WENCH!"

Kagome laughed. "Um… Oops?" She grinned at him and brushed back a renegade strand of hair. "Ready to go?" She asked him.

He nodded. He was dressing more nicely that usual. Kagome had actually talked him into a pair of black slacks and a navy blue sweater. He was still wearing his boots though, but to Kagome, that was very charming.

'Well, as charming as a biker boy can possibly make himself be,' she thought, smiling.

Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow at her expression but promptly forgot about it when Sango drove up in her red car.

Inu-Yasha and Kagome climbed into the back and got comfortable. As Sango pulled out, Inu-Yasha could be heard complaining.

"Why couldn't I just take my motorcycle? I'm sure it would be faster."

"Inu-Yasha, it would be very uncomfortable to ride with you on your motorcycle while wearing this dress," Kagome informed him.

Inu-Yasha huffed and crossed his arms. A slight pout graced his features. Kagome giggled softly and crossed her arms obstinately in reply. They sat like the for the majority of the way to the dance.

That and listened to the odd goings on of Miroku.

Now, Inu-Yasha hadn't really planned on going at all, but when Kagome had told Kikyou that he was going with and that he was going to be Kagome's date, he couldn't very well refuse. It had been a long time since Inu-Yasha had attended a school dance, and he was somewhat on edge.

But Kagome looked over and saw the unease in his eyes. She smiled encouragingly and took his hand. His nerves were calmed by the gesture more than he was ready to admit, but he didn't pull away.

When they arrived at the school, there were large groups of students hanging around outside their cars as teenagers often do before actually entering any sort of social function. Sango parked a short ways away from them. To her mind, people who stayed outside around the cars for too long were usually getting into trouble or waiting to jump someone.

As the group drew closer to them, Sango decided she had been right about her assumption. They were out to jump someone. That someone just happened to be Inu-Yasha.

Kouga grinned as he approached. "You still think you're good enough for her, don't ya Dogface?"

Inu-Yasha growled under his breath, and Kagome turned red with anger and embarrassment. Sango and Miroku became worried. For Kouga that is.

"You're just asking for an ass-whippin'," Miroku said helpfully.

Kouga just laughed at the reactions from everyone.

"So what do you say Kagome? Wanna ditch dogboy and come with me?"

Kagome slipped her hand into Inu-Yasha's. "If I plan to go in and dance with 'Dogboy' so you better just drop it, Kouga."

Kouga narrowed his eyes. "He's not good enough for you! And I'm gonna demonstrate just how bad he is."

Kouga lunged at Inu-Yasha, and Inu-Yasha dodged almost thoughtlessly. Kouga skidded to a stop and snarled at his adversary. He lunged again only to have Inu-Yasha bury a fist into his stomach. Kouga fell to the ground, sputtering with the effort that breathing required.

Inu-Yasha smirked. "I have no time for a wimpy wolf like you. You're not even close to being on the same level as me." Inu-Yasha took Kagome's hand and with Miroku and Sango close by, he led her to the dance.

At the dance

Kagome had been sitting in the corner with Inu-Yasha, Sango, and Miroku. She had been much of the night. Inu-Yasha had announced that he really didn't like to dance so she hadn't pressed him to. Sango and Miroku had been on the dance floor several times, but they kept coming back to sit with them.

When the first notes of a certain song began to play, she decided that one dance wouldn't kill Inu-Yasha. She grabbed his hand and began to drag him to the dance floor. When Utada Hikaru sung the first verse of 'Sakura Drops,' she couldn't help but sing along.

_: Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge (Falling in love, saying goodbye)_

_Chikau koto wa kore ga saigo no HEARTBREAK (With a vow that this is the last heartbreak):_

Kagome smiled at Inu-Yasha. She was going to make sure that the heartbreak Kikyou had caused was truly going to the last heartbreak. Inu-Yasha seemed somewhat uncomfortable, but he was slowly relaxing. She just listened to the lyrics for a while. Lyrics she had heard a million times.

Inu-Yasha, however, had never heard the song before, and a few verses stuck out to him.

_: Doushite onaji you na PANCHI (Why have I suffered)_

_Nando mo kuracchaun da (Almost the same blows such countless times?)_

_Sore demo mata tatakaun darou (But even so, I'll probably fight again)_

_Sore ga inochi no fushigi (That is one of life's mysteries) :_

Inu-Yasha had suffered the same things so many times, but he had fought and now he had Kagome to help him.

To him, that was the greatest of all of life's mysteries.

_: Koi wo shite subete sasage (Falling in love, giving it everything)_

_Negau koto wa kore ga saigo no HEARTBREAK (With a wish that this is the last heartbreak) :_

The rest of the words faded into the background as he looked down into Kagome's sparkling eyes. He saw happiness there, and with a surge of emotion, he saw love too.

He leaned down, bringing his face closer to hers. When his lips were a mere breath away from her, he heard a voice whisper in his ear.

"Get a room, Inu-Yasha."

Inu-Yasha jerked back. That voice, he knew, belonged to Miroku. Miroku, of course, was in for it. Inu-Yasha turned to chase after a fleeing Miroku, but stopped for a moment and kissed Kagome quickly.

"Get your ass back here!" Inu-Yasha yelled and pursued Miroku through the crowd.

_: Tomaranai mune no itami (I want to overcome the ceaseless pain in my chest)_

_Koete motto kimi ni chikazukitai yo (And become closer to you)_

_Hitomawari shite wa modori (I have wandered about once and returned)_

_Aoi sora wo zutto tesaguri (Always grasping for the blue sky)_

_Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge (Falling in love, saying goodbye)_

_Chikau koto wa kyou ga saisho no GOOD DAY (With a vow that today's the first good day) :_

With these lyrics swirling around her head, Kagome smiled and watched as a screaming Miroku being chased by Inu-Yasha, who was so very happy but persisted in pretending that he was angry.

The End

A/N- Well, there we go. The very last chapter of How to. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm thankful for my readers. I hope you all liked the mild song fic property of this chapter. I know that a lot of people don't like those.

I would like to note that I did not use all the lyrics. The whole song is very pretty, but I used the ones that I felt went best with the story. All the words are in the correct order, but you know when you're dancing and you only catch certain lyrics? That's kinda what I wanted to portray in this final chapter.

NEED FEEDBACK! I'm thinking of making my asylum ficcie the sequel to this one but I wish to know what the readers think. That's why I haven't done much with it yet. Would you like to continue knowing the stories behind all the characters at the beginning or would you like to take it from the top?

Thank ya for reading!

Sakura Minomura


End file.
